gone grey and hated it?

(21 Posts)
51shadesofgrey Tue 29-Dec-15 13:26:03

Has anyone tried to go grey and given up and got the dye out again?
I am 38 and dye roots every 3 weeks or so, at home. I sometimes go to the hairdresser but the expense builds up and I actually don't enjoy the hairdresser experience much anyway. With 2 dc it's not easy to find the time either.
I estimate I'm fairly grey - maybe 30% ? Worse on one side and it's hard to say how grey I am as I reach for the dye the minute I see greys.
So I am thinking this is a lot of hassle and will surely become more so with time. Also I admit it's hard to avoid the blocky black iver-dyed effect, especially when dyeing at home.
So that's the background.
Going grey would be easier and yet. ....I can't. I've seen some nice grey hairstyles on people including people my own age, but if I'm honest I usually think brown would be nicer. Yes, there's the societal pressure and silly prevalent idea that grey=old but I think even apart from that, I think brown hair is nicer and more glamorous etc. If I think this about other people I'm bound to think it about myself, aren't I, as the adjustment will be hard after years of being brunette.
I would find it hard to be blonde or red-head all of a sudden too so this is not just grey-bashing.
Also I hear that the process of growing out is tough. And if I'm plagued with doubts before I even start. ....
I've noticed a few people go grey and then end up reverting back/going blonde instead/dyeing a totally different colour. So this makes me think they disliked the grey too.
Anyone gone grey and come back again? Not really looking for advice but more for experiences which will help me find my way.

TheWatchersCouncil Tue 29-Dec-15 15:11:58

I'm going grey. 10 months in and sometimes really not loving the process. I'm a bit more encouraged now that my fringe is 100% dye free and I have a decent % of my hair dye free. It's still going to take a while though.

There's stuff you can do with toners to blend in the regrowth.

How long is your hair? (I'm a short bob). How quickly does your hair grow? (I thought mine grew quickly, but it seems not!)

TheWatchersCouncil Tue 29-Dec-15 15:14:29

I don't even know if it's going to suit me at the end. I'm very pale skinned, and I'm concerned I will look old, drawn, washed out and tired. I'm an otherwise young looking 44. Most of the photos of grey hair I am drawn to are obvious dye jobs on young women, or women with olive skin tones. So, basically nothing like me!

OnlyHereForTheCamping Tue 29-Dec-15 15:27:51

Just keep dyeing it, even the obvious dye job is better that looking old and haggard. If you are an olive skinned beauty yes but for us mere mortals it adds at least 10 years

Eve Tue 29-Dec-15 15:36:43

i've gone grey this year as hair was 75% grey, and i couldn't keep up with the roots.

i had it dyed a reddish colour as I am a pale skinned freckled Celt, now highlighted blonde. TBH the blonde highlights look yellow against the grey, I look washed up especially with no make up on and I'm not sure about it.

I have friends who tell me its looks ok, another said get the hair dye back out..I think it makes me look like my mum!

I'm on the fence at the moment, I think I need to find highlights that work a bit better on the grey.

TheWatchersCouncil Tue 29-Dec-15 15:58:39

only but I think regrowth, even the smallest bit, is really ageing. Getting your roots done every couple of weeks is a faff, time consuming and expensive. I'll see what I look like when I am further down the line. Might mean more attention to eyebrows and make-up. Dunno!

TheWatchersCouncil Tue 29-Dec-15 16:00:57

Highlights on grey are hard. They grey is cool and the highlights inevitably end up yellower. You could try purple shampoo and conditioner. Or cooler toners to blend it all in. The problem with highlights is that it just gives you something else that you have to grow out.

Kennington Tue 29-Dec-15 16:14:08

Try white blonde? Less of a shock and the grey will be less obvious
Am in the same position as you but I do highlights every 3-4 months and touch up roots myself every 3-4 weeks
I find dying the brown a touch lighter than natural extends the time between dying
And those brown hair lipsticks give me an extra couple of days when I cannot be bothered to dye my hair
Agree is a pain but have got used to it

ShotgunNotDoingThePans Tue 29-Dec-15 16:18:59

Cool ash-blonde highlights asre okay with grey I think; I've been growing mine out for a few months now and you can hardly see the join.
For me, having to spend all that time with my neck cricked over the sink was the tipping point; I have a trapped nerce thing going on and am still having physio to get over the aggravating wffects.
If it weren't for that, I think I'd carry on, as although I'm 52 and the top layer of hair is prob at least 50% grey, the unferneath is still pretty much brunette with the odd grey straggler. I suspect I'll be left with, for want of a better word, the baglady look, and will go running back for highlights.
I couldn't do the block-dyeing thing, though - I hate the look of a solid grey struoe at the parting.

ShotgunNotDoingThePans Tue 29-Dec-15 16:20:35

I mean stripe not struoe hmm

BogeyNights Tue 29-Dec-15 16:27:47

I used to dye my roots every 3 weeks back to my 'natural' brown. But that white stripe of grey in my parting would soon appear.
So then I tried going lighter with highlights about a year ago, which I still found difficult to manage, as the grey still showed very obviously with the blonde highlights and the underlying brown.
I managed to stick this out getting blonder and blonder, but I still wasn't happy - I was dyeing my hair blonde rather than brown and the grey was still showing. And I was getting my hair cut shorter and shorter - from shoulder length to chin length, to distract from the different hair colours.
So I persevered until my roots were about 2 inches of a mix of blonde and grey and natural, then I had a crop. Really short and funky. I love it. My only regret is not having the confidence to do it sooner.
My hair care is now minimal. Wash every two days, rarely dry with a hairdryer, style with wax, no dye. Just a trip to the hairdresser every 4-5 weeks. I've had many compliments on my natural hair colour. I may even grow it longer again one day.
Don't feel trapped by the dye!!!!

51shadesofgrey Tue 29-Dec-15 18:01:34

Thanks for your replies. You're living the dream, Bogey. I should have said my hair is shoulder length and due to my face shape I'm pretty sure I wouldn't suit short cropped hair. Even a bob scares me as when I've had them before I've hated how fat my face looks.
I think what you suggest is good, Kennington re going to the hairdressers for highlights sometimes to stop the blocky effect.
Yes, the best grey hair on people under 40 that I've seen is definitely on the otherwise- gorgeous-anyway and on those who have clearly dyed it grey and who are actually around 20 and edgy. I am neither edgy or gorgeous.

Cocolepew Tue 29-Dec-15 18:14:23

Going grey does not add 10 years on you hmm someone always comes off with that on going grey threads. Im waiting for a couple of inches of bleach to be cut out then I'm 100% nautural.
It's much better against my skin tone, Im very pale, but either you like it or you don't. Its not for everyone.

Greengardenpixie Tue 29-Dec-15 18:31:39

Actually, for most I think it does but rather the perception of grey hair.
I knew a mum who was completely grey always thought she looked really old but looking closely realised she was younger thant me. She had a young face and i would always wonder why the hell she let it go grey. I fully get it now though. I would love to embrace it but fear i will look shit! The thoughts i had then are the thoughts that stop me. I have longish hair and have olive skin. I wont get my hair cut so i fear i will end up looking witchy!!!

Canyouforgiveher Tue 29-Dec-15 18:36:22

I really do think grey hair makes you look older than you are - especially at 38. My MIL started going grey at a similar age (she was completely grey when I met her in her late 40s) and she really did look like way older than she was to me - and still does in photos etc. She was also pale skinned and it was a very monocrome look. Even without the associations of being old with being grey, I think grey is a hard colour to pull off with some skin tones (same as blond and very black)

NettleFarseer Tue 29-Dec-15 19:20:15

I'm in the process of growing out my colour/embracing my grey.I'm 31grin

There's a few reasons for this:
*Have recently developed psoriasis on my scalp and am too embarrassed to let a hairdresser see**blush]*
time/money
*cant be bloody arsed

Had my last colour in June and it's taking a LONG time to grow.

I'm naturally a dark brown,about 30% grey

Time will tell if I stick to it thoughgrin

NettleFarseer Tue 29-Dec-15 19:21:08

I have no idea why some of my post got bolded confused

JoyceDivision Tue 29-Dec-15 21:44:54

I have grown out my hair dye as I usually have cropped hair... However I am also growing out mycrop as I want a short on... So I have a meh haircut and meh hair colour

Tbh I have hardly any grey just a few bits but I wanted to avoid being tied to the dye when I got more grey coming through. But I rarely style it so the condition is good and it doesn't look as blocky, however I have got a more dishwater brown bland colour with brassy red tones in that I don't like... And loreal preference has brought out a cool tones range to combat brassy tones so I have itchy fingers at mo.

I will probably cave in and have cropped dyed hair again soon!

MyFriendsCallMeOh Tue 29-Dec-15 22:36:11

Me!

I am very grey under my dye and moved to a new country 2.5 years ago so I thought it would be a great time to cut my hair short and stop dyeing. I was 40 and have good skin, wear make up, look groomed and went for a funky cut, short up the back and longer on the front. I decoloured my hair too and bought a silver dye that made a bit of difference.

However, every time I looked in the mirror, I didn't recognise myself. I looked so much older and much more tired. I felt so bad about how I looked that it affected my daily life. I have a lovely friend with salt and pepper hair who looks fabulous and I wanted to be like her or the old me. I missed my shiny, vibrant chocolate coloured hair (even thought it was out for a box).

I know that skin tone changes as we age, the same as hair colour changes. My skin tone hasn't caught up with the ageing of my hair yet and it just looked weird.

One of the reasons for stopping dyeing was avoiding the blocky colours, also I was concerned about the amount of chemicals in my routine. I found Madison Reed colours with no ppd or ammonia, fantastic colours that really work and produce shiny super-natural results. Not sure if they are available outside the USA but this brand is amazing. Because I have so much grey and my natural colour is dark, I need to dye often so do this at home (too expensive and time consuming to dye or touch up every 6 weeks at the hairdressers).

I'll try the grey again in 10 years or so, maybe.

CeeceeBloomingdale Wed 30-Dec-15 14:12:10

Ive wobbled but haven't actually reached for the dye. I'm 39 and have been growing it out for over three years (long hair) and it's still not quite there. It's fab not having to due and my hair is in so much better condition. Most people have worked out I've done something to my hair but haven't actually realised I've gone back to my natural colour

amarmai Wed 30-Dec-15 19:51:29

gone back to dye after a few years grey. I now use wash out dye at home in pastel colors. It highlights the darker hair and looks good IMO.

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