I loathe maintenance but I hate looking rubbish that smidgen more. So I snuffled out stuff that, while it takes that exasperating amount of time and money, lasts a bit longer. And stuff that takes seconds, like always wearing scent and lipgloss.
Having tried everything, I now stick with this lot:
- Nails. Revlon Gel Envy is cheaper than shellac, quicker to put on and lasts the same amount of time. Cheapest in Superdrug.
- Unwanted hair. Epilation lasts a good week, takes same time as shaving. Do upper lip as well, screaming agony for 60 secs gives you a clear fortnight.
- Brows. Do not shape at home, takes forever and hurts. Threading once a fortnight but home dye - 10p, 90 secs if that.
- Fake tan. Not a very London look any more, but if you like it, get St Tropez in TK Maxx for a fiver and use a scratchy sponge in the bath first.
- Body moisturise every night without fail, it's the one thing that works long term acc skin doctors.
- Clothes. This is the bastard - the older you get the more 'attractively casual' looks 'demented' while 'cool' looks 'worrying'. Ironically, what with the obsession of current designers with 12-year olds and the sports luxe lifestyle, trying to stay fashionable makes this worse.
So if you're naturally scruffy, like trends and don't like ironing, like me, your style for the past 40 years just delivered 'mad-cat-lady.'
Given my love for fat tabby Mr C, this is fine with me, most of the time, but I have discovered the virtues of:
- buying clothes that don't need ironing
- particularly dresses
- upping the engineering strength of the brassiere
- wearing comfortable shoes that are not ostensibly orthopaedic
- THE EXPENSIVE T SHIRT. Me & Em, J Crew, AllSaints, basically.