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I don't own anything I 'love'

(55 Posts)
Callycatsy Thu 13-Aug-15 11:51:20

Nothing sparks joy. Certainly I like the fit of certain things and maybe the colour but I've never found anything that I can't live without. Is it just me?

Millymollymama Thu 13-Aug-15 12:50:35

I think sometimes it is a special, expensive item that is a classic. A Max Mara Camel coat, a Gucci bag, Burberry raincoat, a cashmere cardigan or even Hunter wellies. Depends on your life and style. You will know it when you see it. Throw away fashion doesn't really cut it in the "love forever" stakes.

Backforthis Thu 13-Aug-15 12:54:51

Are you Kondoing?

Gruach Thu 13-Aug-15 12:59:02

I never buy anything I don't love.

I have very few clothes.

Getting dressed is sometimes a little problematic.

burnishedsilver Thu 13-Aug-15 12:59:52

Most of the things what would bring me joy clothes wise are out of my budget :-( Expensive taste is a curse.

FrugalFashionista Thu 13-Aug-15 13:06:14

I have changed my shopping patterns from 'this will do' - now I only buy items that I really like and would love to wear immediately. They get worn much more.

This is only feasible though if you are a fairly standard size.

Callycatsy Thu 13-Aug-15 13:10:25

Yes I'm kondoing! I've been left with basics that I have to have like black trousers, jeans, smart skirts etc but nothing that I love.

I don't buy fashionable stuff, I only buy classic styles but at John Lewis type prices. It's not cheap, I just seem to have a wardrobe of basics. Yawn.

Callycatsy Thu 13-Aug-15 13:12:17

I'm a standard size 12 frugal and 5’ 6". You would think I'd be easy to style. I like neat and tidy. I've gone a bit too neat I think!

Gruach Thu 13-Aug-15 13:13:14

So - do you want commiseration only or are you open to suggestions?

FrugalFashionista Thu 13-Aug-15 13:14:16

But I have to add that there are no clothes I could not live without. Price often has little to do what I love, I love some items from H&M (some of them have exquisite bias-finished seams) and Decathlon and don't love every designer item I have accumulated. It is usually something about the cut or texture, or lovely feeling material (I love thicker, sturdier fabrics, for me viscose is impossible to love) or just the right shade of color, or a print that feels just right.

I had a phase as a new mother when everything was maternity wear or boring basics and during that time I did not love or like any of my clothes.

FrugalFashionista Thu 13-Aug-15 13:25:12

Catsy I'm more or less your size I've been there too - I started from scratch about four years ago. I like neat and tidy too and sometimes buy minimalist clothes, sometimes preppy and classic items. I don't like clothes that are completely average - each item must feel a bit special for me, either in color, texture, pattern or cut. I often find gems in COS, and end of season sales in department stores (I love designer pieces at -60-80% off). I'm about your size and my body is very easy to dress, lots of things look okay on me, but finding those that feel special took some time. I think it is also a bit about exploring your stule, what you feel good in, what really fits your personal aesthetic. I love a bit of structure in my clothes but also materials that feel lush and substantial.

ppeatfruit Thu 13-Aug-15 13:36:38

Try looking around Libertys Scarf department. I like classics too but I got a beautiful scarf which was a sort of modern art print that had the colours that wear and love in it. It gave my outfit a lift IYSWIM.

I always felt great when wearing it. It's falling to pieces now sad and I've found one a bit like it but i still miss it.

Yes try the sales like Frugal suggests.

Callycatsy Thu 13-Aug-15 13:51:17

These are great suggestions, thanks. I like the idea of texture. I'm a classic natural style and texture sounds like a good thing to focus on.

I'm always open to suggestions gruach there are some good ones here already!

I think part of it is that I 'should' be easy to style, I'm quite fit grin I just disappoint myself when it comes to clothing.

I think I should concentrate on buying less and thinking more. I've had my colours (deep winter) and style done but something's missing.

Gruach Thu 13-Aug-15 14:12:13

Ah. Perhaps it's the element of the unexpected that's missing?

I'm sorry to say that more than once or twice I've found that people so carefully and tonally dressed as to be almost invisible will say they've "had their colours done".

Anyway, leaving that aside, someone wise once suggested that, alongside the more sensible clothing decisions, it's a good idea to choose one extravagant (not necessarily £££) but irresistible accessory every season. It does actually help in breaking the habit of predictable buying.

FrugalFashionista Thu 13-Aug-15 14:20:58

Catsy sometimes it is about personality too - DH and DD2 are perfectionists and their tastes are very specific and precise and they are very difficult to please.

I've had my colors done in the past too and I was a bit confused for some time afterwards - there were so many new rules that it took some time to me to get back to listening to my intuition. Now I close my eyes - does this feel good? And also I kind of assess whether an item feel 'me' - an extension of me and my lifestyle. Some clothes are lovely but wearing them is a strain, they either are too dressy or too bright. And some feel too shapeless and unstructured and that makes me uncomfortble too.

Some color analysis combinations are tricky to find irl - deep winter and natural might be such a combination. I wanted to find structured clothes in light summer colors and found that structured clothes nearly always came in winter tones - light summer color clothes tend to a bit rumpled and natural.

Backforthis Thu 13-Aug-15 14:39:57

I Kondoed myself to almost no clothes as apparently I only get emotionally attached to knitwear and sleepwear. I adopted a policy of keeping well fitted clothes in fabrics that felt good to touch and that make me feel 'dressed' when I wear them. The trousers that are just the right length and sit well at the waist stayed. The ones that I always felt I should like more but were too long to wear without really high heels that hurt my feet went. I've cut down my wardrobe a lot but I think joy is a high bar and you can't go to Costa in pjs.

Callycatsy Thu 13-Aug-15 14:42:17

Gruach yes, the unexpected does appear to be missing.

I linked to this pic on another thread and it has been on my mind ever since. I love this look, it's unexpected I think. Also, I have the same colouring as Ines but this outfit isn't 'me' according to my colour rules.

I think part of the problem is I'm drawn to muted when I should be wearing loud things so I agree with frugal and personality issues. I'm a perfectionist too smile

It would be fair to say I haven't been myself since having my colours done!

Callycatsy Thu 13-Aug-15 14:43:46

Back texture seems to be important to you too. I sleep in any old teeshirt, there's no joy there at all!

Callycatsy Thu 13-Aug-15 14:47:17

pp thanks for the scarf idea, I don't have any patterned ones.

Backforthis Thu 13-Aug-15 14:48:17

Ignore your colours! They're a bit silly guide that you can choose to follow or not as the mood takes you!

Yes, I do love certain textures. I had slipper boots for the winter that were so soft inside they made my feet sing! Then the dog ate one sad

Callycatsy Thu 13-Aug-15 14:52:06

Yikes, I'd have eaten the dog. sad

BabyGanoush Thu 13-Aug-15 14:58:33

I think quality material helps too.

I love my silk jersey dresses, silk jersey is wonderful to wear. I find them on e-bay as new they are pricey.

Also love 2 cashmere brora tops I bought in the sale 5 years ago in jewel colours.

Plus my Max Mara camel coat from 10 years ago, always feel a million dollars in it.

FrugalFashionista Thu 13-Aug-15 16:53:08

Catsy I started ignoring color analysis rules after a while. What I kept from it were some good neutrals but I expanded my palette (the warm/cool split never made sense as I have cool-toned skin and warm eyes) and stopped forcing the brights. I'd listen closely to what hunches you are getting and do some Ines moodboards on Pinterest wink She inspires me too, I love her way of combining masculine and feminine.

I think adding something unexpected is a great idea. I always add something that brings me extra pleasure, for example today I wore a green army jacket over a stripy cotton knit dress with black flats but added a red snakeskin handbag. The bag is very tactile and it was the pleasurable component in a really plain outfit.

GeorginaWorsley Thu 13-Aug-15 17:04:51

My 'love" stuff is bit random. .
Wedgwood blue tee from The White Company,perfect colour, shape and just feels right..

Very dark charcoal sleeveless utility style shirt dress in tencel from Warehouse
Great shape ,no crease, fits beautifully.

Jersey slightly drapey soft blue cardigan from Sandwich.
Bought last year in a little boutique and I absolutely love it.
Ditto a silver necklace with a wedge wood blue stone, bought in Cornwall last year on holiday and worn loads.

I also love a pair of Boden bistro trousers in a sort of mushroom grey with navy splodges grin and a pair of their white super skinny jeans.

In a few weeks when I break out my more autumnal stuffwink this list will grow
..

Callycatsy Thu 13-Aug-15 17:22:59

Definitely going to look at quality baby
Thanks for your list georgina, some really nice things there!
frugal I think I'm going to veer away from the strict rules. My neutrals will stay as navy, grey and black but I need to drop fuchsia urgently. I like softer tones, far more me.

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