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Anything else I could do to improve matters?

(8 Posts)
hippospot Mon 10-Aug-15 17:44:27

Having turned 40 recently, maybe I'm having a wobble, but I feel suddenly aged and frumpy.

I'm tall and slim and fit and healthy - happy with that.
My hair is probably 20% grey and I have stopped dyeing it and no longer have any dye in it.
I get regular trims and hair is in good condition.
My skin is ok apart from occasional spots.
I've had my colours done and know which colours flatter me.
I eat a healthy diet.
I use SPF every day.
I hardly drink and have never smoked.
I exercise lots.
I have a decent skincare routine I think.

YET

Despite all this I don't like how I look, when I see myself in the mirror I see only developing wrinkles, sun pigmentation, droopy eyelids...

Apart from all the above, is there anything else I can do (that isn't too expensive or invasive)?

I feel like this is as good as I can look, so I might as well get used to it! Maybe I am shallow....

I am going to a reunion soon and I suppose that is why I am feeling so odd. I'm also at a huge crossroads in my life, trying to figure out the transition from SAHM to working again.

Anyone else feel like this? Any solutions?

HolgerDanske Mon 10-Aug-15 17:50:27

Yes I do. I think there's quite a big transition around forty. You can't hold it all back forever, and age begins to take its toll.

No real advice, as I'm only starting to navigate this myself. I'm 39 and in the last year of so I can really see a difference. But I think if you're doing all the things you've mentioned above, you probably do look fab. Still, I know what it's like to know you're never really going to get that youthful, fresh look again.

I reckon it's actually more about everything else going on in your life. And I have a feeling that the solution will actually be found in focusing on making yourself and your life interesting, full and rich.

Sorry no advice but wanted to say you're not alone flowers

amarmai Mon 10-Aug-15 18:30:47

you sound to me as if you are taking excellent care of yourself. Grey hair can be aging IMO. I am mid seventies and gave up dying my hair after my daughter got married- she asked me not to stop till then! Now i have discovered temporary hair dye in pastel colors that meld well with grey. I started with streaks and have learned that whole head comes out like a bayalage because of the grey changing shades as i get older. I also wish i was brave enuf+$$ to get my eyelids and chin line done as i think that can make a big diff. Let us know if you find any thing we can consider!

hippospot Mon 10-Aug-15 19:58:50

Holger I think you have hit the nail on the head - I'm not in a good place right now, so I am focussing on the fact that the image in the mirror doesn't feel like me!

I have never been a beauty and I always somehow thought my prime would be now - I would "blossom" in middle-age or something wtf

alongcamespiders Mon 10-Aug-15 22:37:31

Nearly 43 and struggling to come to terms with the physical changes which came in quick succession after two pregnancies close together. No help though, just sympathy/empathy, sorry.

knackeredknitter Mon 10-Aug-15 22:48:30

I'm 48, and after the initial shock of hitting 40 and things just beginning to change in an uncontrollable manner, I can honestly say that I have grown to like myself a bit. I think I look different but I quite like myself today at least.
It has more to do with loving my life now, and the realisation that I have been through a lot and come out the other side. I eat better, exercise a little, follow my interests and have made some great friends.
Think about all the pluses in your life, you will realise that your looks are only a tiny part of who you are xx

Tisgrand Tue 11-Aug-15 00:10:18

Be kind to yourself, I think we all wobble a little when we realise that we are, ahem, approaching middle age.

I find that I can't really do without makeup any more; whenever I do I invariably meet someone who asks me if I'm tired, with their head tilted sympathetically to one side.

So I've developed a 10 minute makeup routine which is usually foundation, powder (at 55 I still have oily skin), blusher, eyeliner, eyebrows and mascara. Maybe a bit of lipgloss. If I only have 5 minutes then its blusher and mascara, at least then I don't look like a corpse.

I also try to spend a little more on clothes in order to get a better cut, so not so much Primark any more.

Lastly I get a weekly blowdry and try to make it last as long as possible. Overall then when I leave the house I have a bit more confidence which I like to think shows in how I carry myself.

From my perspective, at 40 you are still a young woman and you are in your prime, you just haven't realised it yet. You take such good care of yourself, I bet if you look around at the others at the reunion you will realise that you look better than many of them do, even though you're all around the same age.

Inkspellme Tue 11-Aug-15 06:25:03

I'm 47 and am now happy with how I look. talking with friends of similar age we all found our 40s a time where we developed our own style. I mean that I don't follow fashion but wear what makes me feel good and find I care less and less about whether anybody else likes what I wear as long as it makes me feel good I don't care. confidence is the key.

I would agree with the pp who said that make up is now vital. I feel washed out and dull without it.

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