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This isn't stylish or beautiful but is hopefully practical?
I have a few things coming up, ie a couple of city breaks plus a trip to legoland. I have a bulky rucksack or a cross body bag. First it generally too big for purse, keys, tissues and a packed lunch but the second is too small.
if you are dead set on the collapsible back pack route get something like this Before lunch put your crossbody bag in it, after lunch collapse it and put it into your crossbody bag
if the backpack is optional these envirosax are a much more beautiful option, they are gorgeous and mine is still going strong in my handbag after serveral years. Again you can pack it down (exceptionally small) into your crossbody bag after lunch
I have this Kipling rucksack and is very practical, lightweight and the only complaint may be if you carry too much heavy stuff (several bottles of water) straps dig in a bit. But since I mostly use it as my main bag now and I drive to work is really not an issue.