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What to wear to a funeral?

(18 Posts)
Flossyfloof Sat 13-Jun-15 15:35:22

I have a funeral in a couple of weeks. Not a family member. All eyes will not be on me at all and from my own experience I doubt if anyone in the family will notice or care if I am there, let alone what I am wearing.
I am struggling though because I tend to live in jeans! I have some navy leggings and a long navy silk top. Do you think that would be ok? I have a nice dress and jacket but in a duck egg blue, more weddings I think. I have lots of dresses, a navy lace one which is very short and another short one in muted colours, I have a teal short lace dress a long teal lace dress and a knee length dusky pink lace dress.
Typing this I am thinking either the navy leggings and top or pink lace dress. I will be driving a couple of hours to get there so it needs to be something which won't crease too badly or something I can quickly change into in the car when I am nearly there.
do you think the pink lace dress sounds ok? Or navy leggings and long top, frilly at the bottom?
How bloody shallow am I? Don't tell me I know.

screamingskull Sat 13-Jun-15 15:42:41

I had a funeral yesterday. I generally go dressed in black but it appears this may not be the norm anymore. Most people were in black n white and some gray tones.... i would opt for the navy leggins. The pink lace dress may be a bit too "loud" unless they have asked for a specific colour to be worn

daftbesom Sat 13-Jun-15 15:43:40

Personally I would always go for a non-"showy" style in muted dark colours unless the family specifically asked people to wear brights. So provided the navy top/ leggings combo is modest, that's prob what I would go for.

Flossyfloof Sat 13-Jun-15 15:50:57

Tbh I haven't worn the navy combo but I could drive down in the leggings and another to and just quickly change the top when I am nearly there so it would be ok, i think.
Thank you. I have got loads of black but all winter stuff and it looks as if it will be warm.

AuntieStella Sat 13-Jun-15 16:20:48

Have their been any family requests about wearing colours?

If not, then black is your best bet (as you can stash stuff in the car, you could take blacks and wear if the weather permits, forecasts seems to be all over the place at the moment).

If no suitable black stuff, then sombre colours. Traditionally that would be grey or subdued purple/lavender (the Victorian colours of second mourning). Navy is fine too. If your hot day options, I'd go for the navy top and leggings combo, as long as the silk is matte.

Flossyfloof Sat 13-Jun-15 16:56:02

No, no family requests, colour-wise.

SlippinJimmy Sat 13-Jun-15 16:58:11

I think you can get away with darker colours now, although I wouldn't go for anything short.

flanjabelle Sat 13-Jun-15 16:59:12

I think stick to black. I went to a funeral yesterday and there was only one or two people in anything but black and they really stood out (including one guy in tshirt and jeans, so disrespectful).

DarylDixonsDarlin Sat 13-Jun-15 18:08:08

Tbh I didn't notice what anyone was wearing at family funerals recently. I was just glad (as a family member) that people turned out for it, many of my dad's friends aren't renowned for their dress sense, but i didnt spot anything out of the ordinary. Although I probably would have noticed a pink dress! confused

I think stick with navy, black or dark grey. I have a suit that I keep just for funerals now, and a black shirt. Unfortunately they will only become more frequent as we get older, and I'd rather just have something in the wardrobe dry cleaned and ready to go at what is sometimes short notice! (often just a week in my area, and if its family theres more important things to worry about than getting hold of a black blazer ime)

Libitina Sat 13-Jun-15 18:14:06

If I am not immediate family or close friends, I wear sombre, smart clothes. At my Nans funeral I wore full on black, but tbh I have no idea what anyone else was wearing as I was too upset.

dexter73 Sat 13-Jun-15 18:15:27

I've never worn black to a wedding as I don't have any black clothes. I stick to navy or dark grey.

EmmaWoodlouse Sat 13-Jun-15 22:34:38

I went to a funeral last autumn and most of the women there seemed to be wearing outfits with some black in them, but not necessarily head-to-toe black. If you don't wear much black and haven't got anything suitable in that colour to wear, I think the navy would probably be a safer bet than the pink.

auntyentropy Sat 13-Jun-15 22:40:43

Pink would definitely be wrong. I'd go for black if possible - think about which of your winter blacks you can change into when you arrive. Try on the navy ensemble and look carefully in front of the mirror because top and leggings might or might not be too informal depending on precise shapes and lengths.

MrsLeighHalfpenny Sat 13-Jun-15 22:43:50

Nothing pink and lacey!!!!

Black, grey, navy, purple. Modest - no low necklines or short skirts.

Flowerfae Sat 13-Jun-15 22:47:05

It was my cousin's funeral in spring, were told to wear whatever we felt comfortable in. I wore a white top with large dark blue and black flowers on, and a black cardigan with black trousers.

I don't really remember what other people wore, but I think it depends.. if they haven't given a dress code or colour requests I think smart, darkish colours would be fine.

BackforGood Sat 13-Jun-15 22:49:37

I too would wear black, nothing that is short and I'd also aim for formal rather than casual.

Out of your list, I guess the navy leggings and top would be the nearest.

I generally think it's worth (longer term) keeping a fairly simple style black dress or suit in your wardrobe though, just for such occasions. When you have to go to a funeral, it's not a time you tend to want to be off round the shops, but, over a number of years a classic suit or simple dress will get worn several times and can be your 'go to' outfit.

Flossyfloof Sat 13-Jun-15 23:01:38

Thanks all. The blacks I have would just be impossible for the weather. The pink is quite a dark pink but even so I can't believe I considered it really!
Navy it is I think.

hoobypickypicky Sat 13-Jun-15 23:12:06

I'd dive into Primark and buy a £2 black t shirt and £8 pair of black trousers rather than anything pink etc.

My understanding is black unless told otherwise, but be wise and check with the family as they may want you to wear the deceased's favourite colour. A funeral is the one time you just can't afford to get it wrong.

If the funds aren't there for a cheap black outfit then navy is ok but nothing more loud and certainly no short hemlines, low cut tops, jewellery apart from a wedding/engagement ring, watch and/or plain stud earrings, no heavy make up and no flowing hair. Respect is key.

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