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if you are in your thirties. Please sort me out.

(22 Posts)
Mrsantithetic Sun 07-Jun-15 09:12:15

So I'm 32. I've recently had two children (both under three) breast feeding both although the end is in sight and have gone from a size 22 to 18 and still another three stone to go.

I have spent the last ten years in jeans hoodies baggy tops slip on shoes or boots. I've never had any sense of style. Problem I have is in my head I'm still 16 so when I go shopping I automatically go for jeans (baggy) and tops (think a fat avril lavigne early 2000s).

I'm in desperate need of a overhaul. I see nice tops but think they are for older women. (again with the 16 year old in my head).

I'm hoping to get to a 14. Body shape is long legs and arms, short torso, wide shoulders and hips but big round tummy area rather than thighs as the case was pre children. medium bust and I'm 5'4.

help me!!!!!blush

Indomitable Sun 07-Jun-15 09:20:25

I'm a couple of years older, and dress the same as you.

A few years ago I felt I should dress better and all that. But more recently I've come round to the idea that I can be myself, and that I don't have to join the ubiquitous Boden/Joules "yummy mummy" set. (Apologies to the swathes of mnetters I've just offended!)

I wear a kind of uniform/costume to work (to fit with the perception of the job). But I'm happy in jeans, hoody, skate shoes the rest of the time.

What I mean is, don't feel you need to look a certain way to fit in with a certain group (mums at baby group) or because you're a certain age. Wear what makes you comfortable. And if the Boden/Joules clan works for you, then go for that too!

Indomitable Sun 07-Jun-15 09:23:12

Reading that back, yes, it probably is some kind of mid-life crisis and I possibly am clinging on to my youth. But I'm only 34 - I've got another 49 years to dress like a grown-up!

Indomitable Sun 07-Jun-15 09:23:52


Indomitable Sun 07-Jun-15 09:27:12

Sorry, another point (this is becoming quite cathartic, actually!) I came across this when I was struggling to regain my 'self' after having DS: I am Anti Fashion

Mrsantithetic Sun 07-Jun-15 09:32:19

Haha you sound very much like me!

I'm not so much wanting to fit anywhere as such. I just feel self concious and a bit frumpy. Spent years being mortified about my weight and now its coming off I want to feel a bit more put together if you know what I mean. grin

I have no idea about what would look nice on me all I see is fat so I tend to try things in and think it looks terrible or I don't know what to wear with it.

Purpleflamingos Sun 07-Jun-15 09:33:26

How do you want to dress? Look online and in magazines for ideas.

My style is smart casual. I'm currently sporting m&s turquoise jeggings that look much like a pair jeager had in store, white tunic cotton shirt and floral throw.

VivaLeBeaver Sun 07-Jun-15 09:40:00

Skinny jeans or jeggings
Stripe Breton type top?

andadietcoke Sun 07-Jun-15 09:40:43

I'm 33 and have gone from an 18 to a 10. I've had to completely change the way I think about clothes (as camouflage to now buying stuff that 'fits' rather than 'skims' as it makes me look smaller). I've developed a staple wardrobe which I'm really happy with. It's not trendy or fashionable but it serves me for everything and is in varying degrees of quality. It mostly coordinates too which is handy when nothing seems to be clean.

VivaLeBeaver Sun 07-Jun-15 09:40:57

Meant to say I know that look is a bit cliched but it's a safe, easy to put together look while you maybe start experimenting with other stuff.

Indomitable Sun 07-Jun-15 09:45:24

To join in with PurpleFlamingos, today I will eventually be wearing: (please read this in a TV fashion programme voice, possibly one of those daytime itv morning programmes) skinny jeans that were once grey, and are now ripped at the knees beyond that which could be called 'trendy' and are now just 'old', teamed with a band t-shirt with a pleasing fit (it fits across the bust and shoulders and has a slight looseness over the belly and ends just below my belt, and is constructed of a heavy cotton) with dubious picture which most people won't look at long enough to 'get' and disapprove of and whatever hoody I can find.

Wishful80smontage Sun 07-Jun-15 09:47:17

We'll done on your weight loss you're doing great!
I lost 4.5 stone over last 2 years (although rapidly gaining with pregnancy of dc2) and I changed my 'style' completely. I'm not sure I am very stylish but I tend to wear skinny jeans with slouchy tops ballet shoes, or printed trousers with plain box tees and sandals. I don't get put much (toddler dd and one on route) but for 'dressier' times I wear skinny black jeans/trousers, cami top and kimono top. Most of my wardrobe is fro new look cheap and cheerful but I think it washes well. Jeans are all from next their skinny jegginga are great. I spend a bit more if bags and shoes- monsoon.

Mrsantithetic Sun 07-Jun-15 10:32:18

I'm googling all these things thanks grin

BlueEyedWonder Sun 07-Jun-15 10:49:16

Are you able to make some time to go and have a look round a department store? See what sort of things you like? Or look in magazines for things you like.
I also lost weight after children, going from a 12 to a 6/8. For a long time, in my head, I was still dressing my larger body even though I'd actually become quite fit and lean.
It is a bit of a mum uniform but slim jeans, stripe tops or plain well fitting t-shirt tops make good basics. You could play around with accessories while you continue to lose weight.
This time of year, tan flat sandals or birkenstocks are a good buy and go with everything.

Mrsantithetic Sun 07-Jun-15 19:02:36

I was wondering about shoes. I shall get some tan sandals. ill check out the other type.

you're all very kind thanks

Oly4 Sun 07-Jun-15 19:25:21

I have just lost weight after dc2 and have revamped my wardrobe. Admittedly I've had the budget to do it this time. What's your budget?
I'm 38 and find that better quality stuff fits so much better. When I was 25 I could throw on anything and it would look good. Not so now.
To give you an idea, I shop at Reiss (mostly in the sales), white Company (with discount or in sales), Banana Republic, Tommy Hilfiger (non branded stuff is gorgeous), and the odd gem from Boden, Jaegar, oasis and Warehouse.
Slim jeans, a nice top, a belted beautiful cardigan in pure wool or cashmere, a flatteringcoat and Chelsea boots are my staples in winter. In summer, I live in cotton and Jersey dresses with either comfy flip flops or jewelled leather sandals for more dressing up. I also have little pumps for running round town with the kids. Hope that helps x

Mrsantithetic Sun 07-Jun-15 19:31:40

fortunately my budget is whatever it needs to be although I wouldn't buy designer price because with two under threes everything ends up stained. ill check out those places thank you

Lioninthesun Sun 07-Jun-15 20:01:52

Have you tried batwing tops? Very forgiving smile

QueenofLouisiana Sun 07-Jun-15 20:20:38

What colours suit you? Have a play with different shades of that colour to see what looks best.

Have you looked into having your hair updated? I did this recently and the response has been amazing! Not a fashionable cut, just more up to date.

Mrsantithetic Sun 07-Jun-15 21:49:05

I have no idea about colours. I tend to wear darker clothes but think they make me more washed out.

hair is Brown ish with lighter bottom shoulder length with a side fringe. looks nice when I do it but it generally gets scraped back into a bobble.

Purpleflamingos Mon 08-Jun-15 18:59:17

I'm coming back just to say you absolutely have to try colours. The only black things in my wardrobe are shoes. I look so much better not wearing black. I have honey blonde hair with highlights, dark blue eyes and typical English rose colouring. Navy and plum are more flattering than black if you like dark colours.

squizita Mon 08-Jun-15 19:32:17

I'm 36 and you wouldn't catch me dead in Boden or white company waits to be thrown off mn for breaking the unwritten rule because to me it does look much too old and/or "cookie cutter yummy mummy" but that is based on having lived in the areas I have.

If you really feel good in jeans and sports style you could adapt a "street" style to be more stylish eg colours and styles of tops and we'll cut jeans, top notch trainers.

If you want something more tradionally feminine but your instinct tells you it's "too old" possibly it is! smile

As PP have suggested getting colours done (though you might find you can then rebel from them a bit) or a good personal shopper might well be worth it.

I tend to shop vintage, 2nd hand designer now I have no money TK Maxx and across almost all high street shops. With a bit of alternative in there too.
So I think I'm approaching it from the other extreme. I was a complete addict pre house/baby/etc.

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