In your opinion what details do you think makes a really elegant Mother of the Bride ?

[Tia4]

What do you notice? Is it her outfit - low key better than OTT? Is it her inate style or her general demeanor? Could it even be the accessories?! Has any lady made you think 'wow!' or 'gorgeous!'? And can you tell I'm fishing for ideas and advice?!!!

[SnotQueen]

I think all those things make anyone really elegant - groomed, confident, well fitting clothes, easy relaxed manner (and not pished!)

Low key outift is definitely better - what are you thinking of wearing?

[Yarp]

I think wearing something special but not too out of the ordinary for you is important. Some people feel they should wear a hat but they feel awkward in one, and look it. So if you want to wear a hat I think that's a pretty important thing to spend time and money on.

If it's a fairly formal wedding I would probably go traditional - a coat dress 'Royal family' type thing. Comfortable shoes.

I think you should tone with the rest of the wedding - colours, and even if it's really informal, go to the e=smarter end of that.

[ScrambledEggAndToast]

IMO my mum looked much better than the mother of the groom at my sister's wedding. Not that I'm biased or anything. My mum had gone for an understated, muted green outfit with a small fascinator. OTOH, the mother of the groom had gone for this hideous loud dress topped off by a garish top hat fascinator.

The mother of the groom is weird anyway, I had been talking to her for 2 minutes (for the first time ever) and she proceeded to tell me how her dog 'came' all over my sister's husband I was gobsmacked and very pleased when the photographer announced it was time for pictures shortly afterwards.

[LaurieFairyCake]

Not wearing white

Not wailing or causing a fuss

Not starting fights with other relatives

Not swooshing into the church exclaiming as the bride is walking down the aisle

Not being naked/half naked

Not trying to fuck a groomsman

Not dirty dancing on the dance floor

[LaurieFairyCake]

Ooh another

Not getting other guests to weigh your naked breasts to see if they're real

[Yarp]

I have a thing about fascinators (sorry). Wear a hat with confidence or don't wear one with confidence. I think the danger is they can look a bit half-arsed. Maybe spend more on a fascinator and you get a better one, though

[TheWordFactory]

My mum looked exquisite at my wedding .

We bought an outfit that was very very 'her' but more expensive than she would usually spend.

It was sage green. Very neat ( not floaty) and her hat was sorted out by her hairdresser so it say just do ( she doesn't really suit hats so this was money well spent).

She wore attractive yet comfy shoes so she was able to whiz about all day and night ( she outlasted me at the party).

[MinimumPayment]

It's best not to go for a "mother of the bride" outfit and not to try and co-ordinate with the bridesmaids. If you're a suit person, a really good suit that you can wear a separates for years to come would be my choice, or a beautiful summer dress, rather than a wedding guest dress.

IMO most people at weddings look ridiculous because they're all effectively wearing a fancy dress costume "wedding guest" , rather than something that suits them.

[WhoKnowsWhereTheTimeGoes]

Low key outfit which fits really well, not too much flesh on show, shoes that are comfy, hat rather than fascinator if anything on the head, discreet accessories. Toning with the bridesmaids but not matching them.

[TheWordFactory]

Also my Dad made me, my mum and my single bridesmaid a breakfast of utter gorgeousness the morning of my wedding. With champagne.

That made us all glow .

[MrsCampbellBlack]

Carol Middleton got it absolutely right in my opinion.

[MinimumPayment]

Oh yes, she did MrsCB. That was a lovely MTB outfit. Beautiful and stylish but didn't look at all like she thought the day was about her.

[ImperialBlether]

Try not to wear something that will make the bride look at you like this:

[AgentCooper]

I'm biased, but my mum looked fly as fuck at my wedding 3 years ago!

She wore a navy, slim-fitting, knee length, Bardot neck dress from Whistles and nude heels with a matching bag. She's blonde and had her hair (shoulder length) loosely curled. She looked so lovely, but in the photos she also looked really relaxed and happy, and I doubt she would have if she had worn a hat, fascinator or matching blazer-dress combo, because they're just not her. I think the best thing for any mother of the bride is just to wear what makes you feel good, not what tradition dictates. Wear something that you'd love to buy for yourself but normally wouldn't feel you had a reason for doing so. DM asked me if I thought she 'had to' wear a hat and I said definitely not!

[ImperialBlether]

So glad you said that, AgentCooper. I would hate to wear a suit or a hat or one of those coat and dress combos. It's not that I think others don't look good in them, they're just not me.

[BehindEveryCloud]

Imperial hahahaha!

[BehindEveryCloud]

(Laughing at the photo not what you wrote )

[Annunziata]

My pfb is getting married this summer.

I'm wearing champagne and black, but it suits my skin tones and it's alright to wear black to weddings here. I have decided not to wear a hat because I have really, really curly hair and I don't think I'll be comfortable in it.

The outfit is quite simple but it sits well on me and I feel good wearing it, so that's fine for me.

[member]

Low key, not super shiny. I prefer a straight/slimmish silouhette; cannot abide those mother of the bride outfits where proportion goes to hell. Those wide legged trousers with a knee-length (open) jacket with floaty tails; like a galleon in full sail.

[hollyisalovelyname]

I absolutely loved Carol Middleton's outfit for W & K 's wedding.
Amazing colour.

[WipsGlitter]

For my sisters wedding mum wore an eye wateringly expensive navy dress. Sort of floaty skirt, white collar. It was not a "mother of the bride" dress but it was so her it was gorgeous.

[thetroubleis]

Not sure whose wedding Laurie has been to, but oh my!

I have to say I've only been to two wedding, my own and my mum's, but when I see photos on facebook, it's usually the 'less is more' theory that stands out the most, no matter what shape or size MoB is.

I have to say, the navy/nude combo PP mentioned upthread sounds lovely.

[GemmaTeller]

Low key, understated elegance.

Not super floaty, floral, shiny look at me outfits.

I'd rather wear a plain dress that suited me/gave me a good silhouette in a complementary colour rather than some frou frou frock horror.

[Dowser]

I'm not a fascinator sort of person. I sort of have a feeling a few years from now we will be looking at wedding photos saying...what on earth possessed me and why oh why did you not rugby tackle me to the ground and rip it off my head!

[Tia4]

Wow! I didn't expect so many comments - thank you all so much! And I had a real giggle at some of them so thanks also for getting my Sunday off to a good start
I hope I will manage to fit the image of 'understated elegance' you all seem to favour. My outfit is a retro (?1940s style) suit with a swing jacket in and will be a neutral colour - not floaty but still has lots of movement and gives a very sharp silhouette. The wedding is in October and I'm hoping to find some really glam accessories to complete the look. Thanks again for the really helpful comments!