Going grey in my 30s - keep dyeing it or embrace the silver fox?

(80 Posts)
SilveryFoxyLady Mon 25-May-15 13:36:39

I have been dyeing my hair brown since I started going grey my early 20s. I'm now mid-30s, and have left it to grow a little to see what it's like.

It's pure steely grey, almost white in some places. Obviously it looks awful as I have a 2 inch grey strip in my light brown hair. My hair is fine, straight and cut into a mid length bob.

I can't decide whether to let it grow out, or to keep dyeing it. I've asked everyone for their opinion and the verdict is split. Some say I'm too young to go grey, others say go for it!

After much pondering I'm wondering whether I should opt for dyeing it a lighter colour, perhaps some caramel highlights, to ease the transition for a few years... but I'm a naturally dark haired person, jet black eyebrows and pale freckly skin. I really REALLY don't think I'd suit blonde hair!

Any advice????

CrystalMcPistol Mon 25-May-15 13:42:14

Do you like the grey that's coming through? If you could click your fingers would you like your hair to be that colour tomorrow?

If yes well then stick with it and perhaps have you hair cut into a crop to speed the process up. You can always dye it if you decide you don't like being completely grey.

Muskey Mon 25-May-15 13:43:14

I am in my 50s and I still dye mine. My sister doesn't dye hers and my brother thinks she looks like a witch. Some women are very lucky when their hair goes silver it can look fab if it goes steely grey not so much imo. I think 30 is too young. There is plenty of time to go grey.

Norfolkandchance1234 Mon 25-May-15 13:45:31

Clairol nice and easy is great for a few grey hairs. My mum who's in her 70s swears by loreal hair dye.

I personally will not be embracing it until I have pure white hair, grey is too ageing IMHO.

SilveryFoxyLady Mon 25-May-15 13:45:45

Hmmm I think if I could go grey overnight then I'd like it - it's the awful in between stage I'm afraid of.

I do like the grey that is coming through, but I'm worried that it might 'wash' my skin tone out, as I'm pale anyway. I think if it was grey I'd experiment with flashes of bright colours like pinks and purples, as I'm young enough to get away with it.

I really wouldn't suit a crop, I have a thick neck and a big nose!

SilveryFoxyLady Mon 25-May-15 13:47:08

It's definitely not a few grey hairs - it's solidly grey/white. It's a genetic thing, my whole family on one side has grey hair, my mother went grey in her 20s too.

So it's full on premature grey, not a few grey hairs here and there.

Silverstreaks Mon 25-May-15 13:47:48

Have a good look around you and you'll notice that more women are giving up the charade. The transition period is tough but there are ways to tackle it if you choose to stop colouring. I am lucky and don't have to look corporate in any way so took the easy option of piling it up or wearing hats. It's been three years since I stopped dyeing it and I'm so happy I did.
You'll always get a split decision if you all other people - just do what you feel is right for you.

CrystalMcPistol Mon 25-May-15 13:50:30

Solid grey/white can really look so striking, especially paired with really bold lipstick.

SilveryFoxyLady Mon 25-May-15 13:52:30

Yes, I think it's currently trendy to actually dye your hair grey, it's all the range with the young people apparently!

It is a charade, and I'm sick of it. I was dyeing it every 4-5 weeks, and I'd be so embarrassed of the roots and of letting people know I'm actually grey under my brown paint! I must add, my colour brown is quite natural looking, not too dark, but it does fade a bit orangey after a while.

Putting it up is an interesting idea - it's almost long enough to put up now, so I could let it grow a bit and do that. If I scrape it into a ponytail, all you see is grey around my face, so that at least breaks up the obvious line.

I don't have to look corporate, I'm quite 'bohemian' in style, and work don't care.

Isthatwhatdemonsdo Mon 25-May-15 14:34:14

I've let my hair go grey. I'm 44. It's very grey/white at the front and more salt and pepper at the back. I've got a short funky haircut so it looks quite good.

WorriedMutha Mon 25-May-15 14:56:42

Me too. Salt and pepper with slightly more prominent white patches around the fringe and hairline. The worst part was growing out the dye because browns always lift to that horrid brassy ginger look so the line is very prominent. To help the transition, I used the odd Harmony Hair toner. The ones in a single tube (no mixing or you are using something permanent or semi). This would give you a week or so of cover to keep you sane.
As the old dead dyed hair got snipped away, I was more pleased with the results.
However, I have caved in a bit and applied colour loosely around the fringe and hairline. I bought the brand that says it is for multiple uses. It is probably intended to let you have about 2 goes but I will get half a dozen. Press the button and it releases the mixed foam colour on your hand. I have used it very sparingly as I just want to brush a bit through. I'm very happy with this compromise. My fringe grows out quickly so I'm not going to have the brassy problem. To look at me now, the salt and pepper theme seems prominent.
You save a bloody fortune and escape the fake look of colour which unless you've got a celeb budget, often looks a bit short of best.
You won't know unless you try so stick with it.

Twinklestein Mon 25-May-15 18:33:33

I would keep dyeing. Grey hair just makes you look older immediately.

My mum had jet black hair when she was young and it's now an ash-blonde & she looks great. I don't think I would ever have though when she was younger that she would work as a blonde and neither would she.

Dita von Teese, who looks ace with black hair, is naturally a blonde. It's possible to look good with a radically different colour to your original one.

I'm sure you could find a blonde tone that works with your skin colour. Grey regrowth is less apparently on blonde hair.

Twinklestein Mon 25-May-15 18:34:36

I meant to say you may have to alter the colour of your eyebrows.

SilveryFoxyLady Mon 25-May-15 18:41:04

Hmm I've been taking inspiration from this blog:

How Bourgeois

She's very pretty, and funky and has lovely thick hair. My hair is flat and thin so I couldn't do the bouncy curls thing. Also love the headband look, but I could never pull that off.

Some good suggestions to try a toner. I might give that a go.

As for changing the colour of my eyebrows - there's no way I'd ever do that. I have jet black eyebrows with natural arches. People pay good money for eyebrows like mine!! But they would clash terribly with blonde hair.

Blueberrymuffint0p Mon 25-May-15 20:49:52

Could you change to highlights-maybe an ash blonde. The grey regrowth won't be as obvious.

SilveryFoxyLady Mon 25-May-15 21:04:17

Yes I'm wondering whether that might be the way to go. God I'm so indecisive, I swing between letting it go grey, and carry on colouring.... Aargh.

I think caramel highlights, or ash, might be good. Hmmm

CeeceeBloomingdale Mon 25-May-15 23:12:29

I'm almost there in the epic 2.5 years growing it out phase (I'm 38 now). People thought I was mad when I said what I was doing but I starting to get compliments that than odd looks. I've gone from,dark brown to almost pure white

FindoGask Tue 26-May-15 05:53:39

I'm 37 and stopped dying my hair a year ago. It is very short (buzzcut short) and I was having to dye it every two weeks for the roots. Because it was so short and because my dyed colour wasn't that different from my real colour I didn't have to worry about the in-between stage.

I much prefer it now and I don't think I'll go back. It's still mostly very dark brown - maybe 30% grey, and I like the contrast, I think it looks a bit punky.

FindoGask Tue 26-May-15 05:55:01

PS my mum has hair as white as yours and has done since her late twenties/early thirties - she always looked amazing. She uses this Aveda shampoo, Blue Malva, which really brings out the silvery tones.

CuttedUpPear Tue 26-May-15 06:25:47

If you are going to go for the grey (and I think in your case I would, the colour coming through sounds like quality stuff) then you should start using a really good shampoo to bring out the silver tones.

I am mightily impressed by L'Oréal Expert Serie Silver shampoo. I'm using it on my salt n pepper hair and my DD is using it on her bottle blonde. It gets rid of all brassy colours and brings out the grey into really nice silver highlights.
We're also using Touch Of Silver shampoo, it's a revelation!

Floisme Tue 26-May-15 07:21:24

Can I add my vote to the 'let it go' camp? I think grey hair worn in a midern style can look amazing.

Well dyed grey hair can look good too but the upkeep is immense. Think off all the lovely clothes you could buy with that money.

A home cover-up-the-grey job that doesn't match your skin tone is one of my top style hates. I think it can make women look a bit desperate.

HappyMedium Tue 26-May-15 16:44:25

yes! Let it go grey! mine is just starting and I'm embracing it.

hippospot Tue 26-May-15 21:08:42

I'm probably only about 20% grey but I stopped dyeing two years ago (I'm 41). I have no regrets. Probably helps that DH loves it natural.

There is no shame in ageing.

My mid-life rebellion is to NOT dye my hair!

I was so mightily sick of the time, expense and chemicals involved in dyeing it, and really could not face doing it for another 20+ years until society deems it fitting for women to go grey. Have you noticed how men seem to go grey so much earlier than women? hmm

<Disclaimer - I probably pay more attention to figure, skincare, regular haircuts, good clothes, make-up, general grooming, than before. I think I look ok!>

NomiMalone Tue 26-May-15 21:15:45

I say do it.

I'm 35 and made the decision 18 months ago. Here is the result and I bloody love it smile.

Babymamamama Tue 26-May-15 21:16:50

Not at all keen on the grey look. Although seriously older women can look amazing with true silver hair. It's totally up to you obviously. What does your partner think? I cover up my grey. Used to do home kits ash brown etc but I've transitioned over to hairdresser highlights more recently and v happy with the results. By my age my mum was more than half grey. I never liked the look on her and swore to myself I'd never go the same way.

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