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Outfit for my brother's wedding after major weight loss - where to start?

(15 Posts)
MrsHelenBee Sun 24-May-15 23:09:44

I know this is a long thread, but please read it if you have time as I really need advice....
Since 2007, I've struggled with trauma and depression and punished myself with food, which resulted in huge weight gain. I met my now husband in 2008 and went on to have 2 beautiful DS's. My husband is loving and hugely encouraging, but he knew how much I wanted to lose weight and, after DS2 was born last May, he encouraged me to seek advice from my GP.
I've worked really hard in therapy and what's inside of me over the last 3 years, and I told my GP how badly I now wanted to try and fix the outside of me. I only gained 6lb while I was pregnant, and worked really hard after he was born to shed the pounds, so I'd already dropped 2st by the time I saw the GP. She was really supportive, and referred me to Weight Watchers.
Since starting at the end of September last year, I've lost a further 4.5 stone. I still want to lose another 2.5 stone but I'm starting to notice people's comments about the difference in my shape. I'm staggered and hugely flattered by the number of compliments I've received, and my WW leader and group are massively encouraging.
I'm going to my brother's wedding at the end of July, and I'm terrified of shopping for something for wear. I use my clothes to hide and protect me, so it's hard thinking about flattering, girly clothes, but I want to make the effort. I'm also desperate to remember what it once felt like to feel pretty. My DH has only ever known me as overweight and I dream of him knowing the me I used to be. I want to feel pretty. But apart from knowing I want a dress (my wedding was only the 2nd time I've ever worn one), I have no idea where to start. There are so many shops, and so many dresses. Do I need long or short? Patterned or plain? Fitted or floaty?
I just a Debenhams search on Occasion Wear and dresses, which returned over 1400 results!!! There are lots of skimpy dresses which I'll never fit in, and I suspect my legs will let me down even if I could.
I have no idea what suits me and I still feel fat and ugly, so I know it won't take many bad choices in the dressing room to knock my confidence and send me home empty handed.
I can't ask my mum to shop with me, she'll tell me what she thinks I want to hear, which is necessarily what I NEED to hear. My sister is super-critical and honest, perhaps a little too honest, but she lives several counties away and is seldom home to have the time to shop with me.
Do personal shoppers actually exist, and if so, where? Are they expensive, and do they need to be booked a long time in advance? I'm close to most of the main department stores but have never seen this service offered.
Has anyone else out there found really good advice on what to wear after weight loss?

Glitteryfrog Sun 24-May-15 23:27:42

Personal shoppers m.johnlewis.com/mt/www.johnlewis.com/our-services/fashion-advice-service#page_loaded
m.houseoffraser.co.uk/Personal+shopper+service+in+store/M114_Personal_Shopper,default,pg.html&cid=M114_Personal_Shopper
m.debenhams.com/customer-service/personal-shopper

CactusAnnie Sun 24-May-15 23:30:10

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

dinodiva Mon 25-May-15 07:20:17

I've done a personal shopping session at Debenhams (London) and was really impressed. There was no pressure to buy, very non-intimidating and they chose all sorts of different things to try on. It didn't cost to book either. I ended up buying something I wouldn't have looked twice at on the hanger so it was well worth it!

mumofsnotbags Mon 25-May-15 09:07:05

I was just about to suggest a Personal shopper in John Lewis or Debenhams,

They will be able to advise you what suits your shape now, ad if you don't see anything you really like at least it could give you an idea of something you would like to see.

Perhaps also a Dressmaker and have something professionally made for you?

MrsHelenBee Mon 25-May-15 20:56:44

Thanks everyone, that's great - not only the links, which I'll definitely look at, but also the fact you've used them and found then useful. thank you so much x

Trooperslane Mon 25-May-15 21:11:23

I used personal shopper in HoF recently and she was amazing.

You have a chat and a cup of tea no fizz dammit and she scooted off round the shop for me.

You have a private dressing room and don't have to show her stuff on you if you don't want to.

I'd highly recommend it, op.

Good luck and congratulations on your bloody hard work. You deserve a huge treat thanks

Trooperslane Mon 25-May-15 21:11:47

Oh, and no obligation to buy either.

AlisonBlunderland Mon 25-May-15 21:23:04

Another vote for personal shopper here.

Really good if you don't know what might suit, or are lacking in confidence.
They won't fob you off with the wrong thing.

Beware buying too early if you are still lossing weight. Maybe make an appt asap, but if you find something you like, maybe ask if it can be put aside in case you lose more weight.

Well done on the weight loss- have a lovely time and look great!

readyforno2 Mon 25-May-15 21:27:26

I came on to recommend the personal shopper in John Lewis. I went in March after losing almost 7 stone last year.
They were brilliant! Not pushy at all. Give it a go!

MrsHelenBee Mon 25-May-15 22:29:39

Had a look online on the John Lewis website and no idea if I like things or not. Never was great at knowing what to try on and suspect it may take someone professional to make choices for my based on my shape. I'm told it's totally different, although I don't see it. Odd not to see what others do.
Anyway, I like the sound of being able to spend time with someone who can be objective for me, make suggestions, and let me think about things if I need to.
I'm conscious I'm still losing and still want to for a good while yet, which is what has added to my anxiety. My brother got engaged at Christmas and, selfish as it is, I was hopeful a wedding would be the end of this year, or even in to next year, to give me something to work towards when I expected to reach my goal. I was really anxious when he told me it would be July as I knew back in January that I wouldn't have reached my goal by then. I don't have much money and I'm very aware I'm going to buy a dress which I won't wear again. I'd like to wait as late as possible to be sure what I buy will fit on the day, but at this time of year, all the stock will go and if I wait until early July, I risk finding nothing!!
Still going to give it a go though, but maybe I'll have to wait until the end of June to be sure I get the right size for me.

MrsHelenBee Mon 25-May-15 22:34:29

hmm, just looked up branches of HoF, and the closest is over an hour away. Not easy to negotiate with a 3yr old and 1 yr old. What a shame.

StGodolphin Tue 26-May-15 09:40:24

I would start at home to give some confidence, chose somewhere with free returns and try on loads is styles, write down or photograph what you like and don't like. It will give you a bit more perspective and you will feel less overwhelmed when you go shopping smile Nyla Rose and other retro style shops/sites have flattering styles. Start early so you are under less pressure.

cathyandclaire Tue 26-May-15 11:40:11

Very well done on your weight loss smile It may help to look at pictures of people ( celebrities or pictures on pinterest) who you think look good or you're drawn to, you may see a pattern of styles/colours that appeal.

hellsbellsmelons Tue 26-May-15 14:10:43

Well done on your weight loss.
I agree with starting at home.
ASOS do loads of styles for a huge range of prices.
They deliver fast and returning is really easy.
What size are you?

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