I think I need some S&B help please!

[poppystoppy]

A new poster but I've been lurking for a long time and I am now admitting I need some help.

I'm at a low point at the moment in a style and beauty sense. I'm mid 30's, no children (not an option for me although I'm happily in a LTR) I work in a manual job in uniform , and tend to live my entire life in my work clothes. Work is long and hard and its grubby and dirty work. (Agricultural)

Size 6-8 and my casual wardrobe is polo shirts and rugby shirts with jeans, dressed up is usually a cable knitted jumper with jeans. To give you an idea I own two pairs of trousers, one is skinny primark jeans and one is skinny primark chinos. A reason to get dressed up is a sunday afternoon pub lunch, I don't "go out" by personal choice, Currently I am quite introverted and anti social.

I rarely wear make up bar a lick of mascara daily, and if I am going out some of the tinted garnier bb cream. Rewind 5 years and I would have been out several nights a week and was hugely self confident and outgoing, "happy go lucky". I used to have two whole drawers full of make up and toiletries and spend hours getting ready but I have just lost all impetus, I guess I feel like there is no point any more.

As I got older, I struggled to balance the ageing face in the mirror with the clothes I wanted to wear, ie things I think would look good didn't and I took them out on myself, and things that looked good on me I labelled "too old".

As a result I have no idea what I should be wearing and how I can find a little of the "old me". I look old and haggard. I have a weathered face, red in patches and dry in others. I have an unhealthy relationship with food and have to balance the fact that I KNOW I will love the body I see in the mirror that has curves and round lines with the voice inside me that doesn't. (I was a size 12 when I was most confident, I am a size 6 now but currently can't get out of the nagging voice telling me that being angular will make me look youthful. I know its bollocks!)

I was wondering about a drastic hair cut (have been all colours and all lengths over the years but have fallen to long, very long dry damaged hair and no colour in it, lots of grey) to perk me up but quite frankly I'm scared, and skint so it would have to be coloured at home, I've lost all confidence in being able to pull anything like that off.

Can anyone suggest ideas for how to find the old me? Brands I should be looking at? (finances are limited to ebay bargains not shopping new!). A "look" I should be aiming for? A basic daily routine to help me like what I see in the mirror again?

I have come to Mumsnet for advice as I have found myself at the point I wont even go to the supermarket on a weekend as my self confidence is crippling. Please be gentle with me, writing all that down has been very cathartic and I've realised in the space of 15 minutes that I have more issues than the wrong colour or length of my hair. I'm sorry its been so long, consider it useful for sleep depravation!

[Kennington]

Hey
Really sorry you are low.
I like to do stuff like colour my hair- highlights maybe get a friend to help?
You are tiny so you will look good in French chic clothes like skinny black jeans. Try uniqlo for simple cheap basics.
As for make up get some sun cream so you become less affected by weather and just buy a cheap oil for your face at night. I buy grape seed oil from the health food shop. It makes my skin nice in the morning.
And buy an illuminator for cheekbones and eyes. No. 7 peach illuminator is nice and gives a glow.

[Pantsalive]

Sorry you feel you've lost your way style-wise. Well done for posting.

As a first step, if you're anything like me, having also had my hair in all possible styles and colours, then I'd definitely say go and get it cut. You'll feel much better with something new and it'll immediately improve the condition. Then you can decide if you still want to colour it.

Regarding your style, what did you wear when you felt more confident? What are you happy wearing? Is there anyone whose style you admire? I always think Jessica Alba looks very stylish, even when she's dressed really casually. Perhaps we could start from there.

I'm not so good on the beauty stuff but Kennington's advice seems very sensible.

It sounds as if you may have other things going on but this must be as good a place as any to start on the way up.