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Do I really have to be thin to wear certain things?

(43 Posts)
applesandchairs Mon 26-Jan-15 12:52:15

I regularly wonder about this and I think from reading threads on here, I'll probably get mixed viewpoints!
It seems fairly well accepted that certain things look better on a thinner woman - for example we regularly see people on here saying they can't wear skinny jeans as their legs look like parsnips in them, that leather leggings make anyone over the size of 8 look like sausages in skins etc etc. I guess most of us live by these "rules" to an extent, in that we wouldn't necessarily wear something that we felt we looked awful in. However, I look at the models on ASOS Curve for an example, and they look great in bodycon dresses, skinny jeans etc. I suppose my question is this - honestly, if I am wearing skinny jeans or a tight dress and my figure is less than perfect, does it really matter? I am a size 12-14 and wear skinny jeans even though my thighs aren't really made for them, I have a bodycon dress but my hips and thighs are a bit wide, but my stomach is flat. I wear mini skirts but again, my thighs aren't my best feature. Am I getting away with this, or are people really judging me? I hope they're not judging me. My personal view point is that I wear what I want to wear, if I like a style and want to wear it, as long as I don't look hideous, I'll go for it. Is this ok or is it a mistake? I don't really want to have to wear straight leg jeans, or skirts to my knee etc etc just because I'm not a size 8. I want to wear fashion if I like it, I don't want to just wear what really really suits me and my body shape all the time, that would be boring. Or are people laughing at me??!! This is fairly lighthearted but sometimes I really do wonder.

BallroomWithNoBalls Mon 26-Jan-15 13:02:11

It sounds like you're posting for reassurance really.

I think most clothes look better on a slim body - but also, lots of clothes look amazing on a good looking curvy woman who carries it well. I have seen women of 12-14 wearing leather leggings looking awesome.

I think it's about having style and body awareness tbh - look in the mirror and see for yourself - do you look good? It's not always about size too, it can be about shape - I avoid certain clothes as I am quite flat chested and big bottomed, so although I'm a size 10 I don't just grab anything and assume I'll look great. Style is more complicated than that. I also look rubbish and twee wearing tea dresses and cardigans whereas some women carry that look well.

So no clear answer - but I think in general, slim bodies are more attractive and healthy looking and so of course look objectively better in most clothes - but you don't sound huge, I'm sure you dress well and don't need to worry! I very rarely judge other people's clothing choices tbh - unless it's see through leggings and a short top, then I do grin

burnishedsilver Mon 26-Jan-15 13:04:17

Its about confidence. If you have the confidence to wear whatever you like then wear whatever you like. You'll carry it off because you look comfortable in it.

Personally I'm most confident in clothes that (I think) suit my shape (shape rather than size). I'd never be comfortable in a bodycon dress as although I'm small I have a mummy tummy. I'd feel self conscious in a dress that highlighted it.

From what you've said I suspect that you are naturally going for clothes that flatter your shape anyway.

SkaterGrrrrl Mon 26-Jan-15 13:04:47

No.

Please see feminist boards for more.

HTH.

LaurieFairyCake Mon 26-Jan-15 13:06:38

Sure most clothes hang better on ultra slim people or models wouldn't sent down the catwalk being that every day

But since people that size (height most importantly) are a very small percentage of the population the rest of us still have to dress.

I'm a size 18 and wear leggings and tunics or leggings and dresses every day. People are always saying fatties shouldn't wear leggings but they look fine on me, just like tights but warmer and stop my thighs rubbing together.

CheekyWeeGandT Mon 26-Jan-15 13:09:27

Wear whatever you like. If people are judging you for not having thin legs or being a size 8 then let 'em. You sound great, OP! smile

OneLittleLady Mon 26-Jan-15 13:09:55

I think it's cruel to laugh at someone no matter what they are wearing, unless of course they are a clown or something and specifically dressed to get laughs. If you like what you wear, you like what you see in the mirror and feel comfortable and confident in the clothes you have on, I don't think it matters one bit what size or shape you are. If you dress for you and achieve the look that you want to then sod what anyone else thinks, it's not their body to make decisions about, it's yours.

Inthedarkaboutfashion Mon 26-Jan-15 13:10:24

I think anybody can wear leggings and look okay depending on what they wear them with. Leggings and a crop top look awful on anybody over the age of 16 regardless of their size. But leggings and a tunic or top which covers the arse area looks okay on anybody regardless of size.
A size 12-14 really isn't that big unless you are very short. The average uk size is 16, so you are below average.

CeartGoLeor Mon 26-Jan-15 13:15:39

If many of the threads on here are an indication, people are probably judging you for appearing not to know what suits you. But it's entirely your call, and if you're happy with what you look like, don't be put off.

Though I admit to finding it puzzling (if I'm understanding your OP correctly) why anyone would want, in the abstract, to wear fashion items purely because they are in fashion, when you know they don't particularly suit you. It sounds a bit fashion victim-y.

applesandchairs Mon 26-Jan-15 13:23:03

Thanks for all the opinions.

yes, I guess it is about reassurance, and I've got some here, thank you.

Yes - I do think that some threads on here would suggest that people are being judged for wearing things that aren't perfect for them.
Interesting point about confidence being the key, that had escaped me, although I hope I'm wearing my clothes with confidence.
Ceartgoleor, it's not about being fashion victim - it's just that I enjoy clothes, and how they change over time and seasons. I'm just one of those people - I could never get a tattoo because I like to change my look quite often and that's what it's about for me - not really about being in fashion as such, but seeing something I like and wanting to wear it. If it looks hideous I wouldn't go near it, but I find fun and enjoyment in clothes, if my figure isn't quite "perfect" for it then I live with that. I guess my view is that if I only wore things that my figure was perfect for, I would be stuck in a "uniform" of clothes which isn't how I want to be. So I suppose I'm fairly clear on what I think as it turns out!

nottheOP Mon 26-Jan-15 13:30:19

There are clothes that are unflattering whatever size you are. Eg, I wouldn't wear a tube dress as I have a wobbly tummy, ditto body con.

Strapless is a no due to rugby player shoulders and sleeveless for the accompanying arms.

I prefer v neck to avoid mono Boob.

BUT fashions can really limit the ability to dress for your shape.

I do think that certain styles should be avoided if you can't pull it off

Nextwednesday Mon 26-Jan-15 13:37:40

If you have got a flat stomach (most of us haven't) I expect you get away with most things. I would rather big thighs than a pot belly.

Nextwednesday Mon 26-Jan-15 13:39:28

Yes some body types don't suit certain fashions. I can't wear those short boxy tops or jumpers (next is full of them) as I have big boobs.

CeartGoLeor Mon 26-Jan-15 13:43:05

Then go for it, OP. But maybe you should say more about what you imagine other people think someone of your size and shape 'should' be wearing - it may be that you have a far more rigid sense of those kinds of rules than others do?

specialsubject Mon 26-Jan-15 13:45:43

most of what you see on the high fashion catwalks is fancy-dress stuff normal people wouldn't be seen dead in.

try on outfit, look in mirror (ideally from behind too). Are YOU happy? Then wear it.

YoullShootYourEyeOut Mon 26-Jan-15 13:49:05

No, wear what YOU want and like. As long as you feel fabulous, you'll look fabulous. Sod what everyone else thinks!

applesandchairs Mon 26-Jan-15 13:51:30

I don't really have a strict sense of the rules Ceart,- it's just the comments that I see on here daily really - about skinnies making legs look like parsnips, leather leggings making someone of a size 10 look awful, etc etc. I know that there are other factors in play here, like the shiny-ness of leather etc, but there does seem to be a suggestion that anyone over a size 8-10 doesn't look good in the more figure hugging items.
In all honesty, everyone whose legs aren't as thin on the thighs as they are in the calf, will look a bit parsnippy in skinnies, but this is my point exactly - is this a bad thing? My legs do look a bit parsnippy in skinnies but so what? Am I condemned to a life of straight leg or bootleg jeans in order to "balance out my hips and thighs"? So what if they're not perfectly balanced, I want to wear skinnies!!

Fairylea Mon 26-Jan-15 13:55:49

I honestly think that whatever size you are and whatever you wear there will be people pulling judgemental faces. Life really is too short to worry about it. You could be a size 8 in what you and others feel is the most amazing dress in the world and there will be someone else thinking it's awful or your hair is awful or your accessories don't go - you only have to look at the showbiz pages in the Daily Fail to see all this in action. Every time there is an awards ceremony some poor group of women get ripped to shreds for whatever they wear.

I've found instagram very intriguing from a body confidence point of view. The photos of women that seem to get the most "likes" tend to be those who in my own judgemental view have a very curvy or even overweight figure. People seem to like it. So as someone who is a size 16-18 and always used to be a size 10 it's given me a bit of a boost to wear what I like because I know there will probably be others who like it like I do and some that don't.

I'm not going to spend my life avoiding certain things because I dare to be over the size of the model it was designed for.

CrispyFern Mon 26-Jan-15 13:56:19

If you are confident you will get away with most things. If you are confident and beautiful you'll get away with all things.

Apatite1 Mon 26-Jan-15 14:04:42

I've gone from a size 6 to a size 12. Do I care? No. I am generally a confident person, there's no way I'd be bothered about what others think of my appearance. I know plenty of slim women who are very insecure about their looks, it's not as if they all love what they see in the mirror (I do wish they all did though!)

Love clothes, will love them whether size 8 or 18. Nasty people will find something to bitch about no matter what size you are, so why waste your life caring about their opinions?

MaybeDoctor Mon 26-Jan-15 14:04:58

Hmm, I have been slim (small 10) and not so slim (now a 12 - 14), but I have still looked good at each size as I just emphasise different aspects of myself. For example, I now have a bit of cleavage which I definitely didn't before - so on a special occasion, out it comes!

And why would any woman have legs that are as slim on the thighs as they are on the calf? Our thighs are meant to be one of our largest muscles for getting us around, escaping from woolly mammoths etc.

Jackieharris Mon 26-Jan-15 14:06:12

Omg you're a size 12-14 you are one of these thin people!

MaybeDoctor Mon 26-Jan-15 14:07:33

I also think there is a big disconnect between what fashion tells us and what the opposite sex might appreciate.

Wellieswithaholein Mon 26-Jan-15 14:28:34

Most hugely over or under weight people wont look as nice in things imo.
I have seen a few highly paid models who look awful in some outfits with their bony, knobbly knees, gappy legs and bee sting tits.
They look unhealthy to me.
Most of the in betweens will look good in clothes that flatter them.

Twinklestein Mon 26-Jan-15 14:58:01

I don't see why wearing clothes that suit you is 'boring'. I don't have any particular yen to wear clothes that don't suit me...

Despite being size 6-8 things there a plenty of things that don't look right so I don't wear them.

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