Tattoo ... is this a terrible idea?(80 Posts)
Just got my decree absolute so finally divorced and would like to mark the occasion somehow. I have been waiting for this moment for a very long time (I was the one who left my abusive marriage, haven't regretted it for a second); the last few years have been horrid yet I have overcome a lot all on my own, and I'm proud of that. I'm often told I am fearless by friends/relatives so, I'm seriously considering having a tattoo made that says exactly that, 'fearless'. It would be fairly small, handwritting style, likely in my inner wrist.
Now, I'm a 40 year old mother of three fairly young DC. I like to think I'm 'cool' (hate that word btw!) enough to carry it off, but still ... am I too old to be even thinking of having it done? I do have quite a senior office job too so I would likely need to have it covered for important meetings etc... too much hassle? I would like to have it done somewhere I can see it all the time so somewhere more discreet would kind of defeat the purpose of it.
Should I go for it?
If you want it, do it! I got to my mid thirties before my first tattoo - and it is a full sleeve
Tattoos have much personal meaning, they're meant to! No one can or should decide for you, particularly given this one is a mark of independence for you
Hi Op the first thing I did when I divorced my abusive twat of a husband was get a tattoo. I'd always wanted one but my ex wouldn't 'allow' me to have one. So got myself I meaningful tattoo and got a piercing too!!! Go for it, you've got no one to answer to but yourself and life is short. Ps on the couch next to mine was a 70 yr old lady getting her 3rd!!! Fearless is a good one. I got survivor but had been abused for over 25 yrs. it's addictive tho I have a Pinterest board full of tatts and piercings I need next heehee
You are not too old for a tattoo.
I personally wouldn't have a word, I'd find a symbol which meant the same (officially or just to me). But each to their own.
I think it's a fine idea. So many people have tattoos - obviously or not - I wouldn't not do it because of the occasional hassle of feeling you want to cover it with a bracelet or whatever. If it would be meaningful to you, go for it.
OK. I am going to disagree...don't get a tattoo.
Especially on your inner wrist which is becoming the these year's "small if the back" (I.e. Soon to be "Tramp Stamp" apologies for the horrible expression.
Why do you want a reminder of this relationship on your body? I would want to live as if her had never existed.
Sorry. But I think you should give this one a miss. Maybe spend the money on a piece of jewellery or Champagne with friends.
I think it's a great idea. I got my first tattoo last year at the grand old age of 36. It's quite big and on my left shoulder. I got it for quite similar reasons to you, I love it. It's symbolises my newfound freedom and strength.
Please don't do it. You'll look like a twat and regret it in the future. I agree with others, spend the money on a nice piece of jewellery or a course or a holiday.
I say this because I care not because I think you're a twat btw. Peace and love.
I think you should wait at least a year to see if you still want to do it.
When getting rid of twats it's natural to feel like taking out the world and be reckless. But a tattoo is a permanent thing and you may not feel like it in a while. This sounds a bit like a knee jerk reaction.
How about getting some significant jewellery instead?
I agree with Darcy, spend the money on a positive happy 'new' experience, not dwelling on the past for the rest of your life every time you see your hand. I'd worry this would be so emotionally charged and tied up in your ex husband that it would defeat the point of a feeling of renewal and remain more of a tie to him.
Wait a year or two once the dust has settled to see if you still want to be reminded of it then. You know your strength, the people around you who love you do too.
Thank you all! ! Quite mixed opinions, lots of food for thought.... For the record though, the 'fearless' adjective is not mainly attached to my marriage but to lots of other stuff I have had to overcome, it wouldn't necessarily remind me of my marriage iykwim....
I already got the jewellery earlier in the year when I turned 40, if I decided against it I would need to find something else. ..
I would give it 6 months before you decide. I have "strong" tattooed on my inner wrist, it's easily coverable. Honestly I don't care if it's the new tramp stamp (horrible expression towards women anyway), it's the only thing that's stopped me self harming and was worth every penny
You're already fearless though, why do you need a tattoo. And everyone's got writing on their inner wrist nowadays. It's de rigeur for women of a certain age ime. Sorry if that sounds rude, just what I've observed.
Just read goodasitgets post, unfortunately I didn't read it before my post, sorry
If you want it, go for it! its your body and you've obviously been through enough, why not get a permanent reminder if it's what you want to do.
I despise the immediate "tattoos are bad, all people who have them are tacky!" Comments that people throw around if it's something that isn't for them. I have a small tattoo on my wrist that would mean bugger all to anyone else who saw it, but I didn't do it for anyone else. It's a small musical note that me, my sister and my dear mum all had when Mum was first given her terminal diagnosis as she wanted to "rebel" (her words, not mine!). To others it'll look like a common black mark on my wrist which will age and look dreadful, but to me every time I see it it reminds me of an afternoon spent laughing and giggling with my Mum and her final act of rebellion (My Dad hates tattoos ) while she tried to chat up the tattoo artist and then got pissed on jägerbombs at a local student place as she had never had one. It makes me smile everytime I consciously notice it. If other people want to judge me because of my tattoo they know nothing about that's their problem.
If it was in a handwritten font i might think it was a Taylor Swift-inspired tattoo (google fearless tattoo taylor swift)
No bad thing though! Life's too short, as long as you're sure I don't see that it's tacky
I agonised for months on whether to have a tattoo or not. And took heed of everyone who said it looked tacky, that everyone's doing it now, that it would look terrible when I was 50 etc.
But then when I got it, I loved it, the world hasn't changed, and I really don't care about other peoples' opinions about my tattoo. At all.
So if you want it - go for it!
Go go it.
Personally I Would prefer something they symbolised it than the actual words.
What does freedom mean to you?
What does fear mean to you?
What does achievement mean to you?
I would suggest things like flight birds, mountains a teeny tiny world, a boat
My most recent tattoo was to celebrate my dds release from hospital post op.
I have had 4 and never regretted even the crap ones.
They're a part of who I am, who I was, who I will always be.
I think a necklace look far better. Others do not know what it would stand for and you will never hide it either. Well done by the way.
If you want it though, do it just wait a while.
If you're unsure do not do it! IMO it won't look cool, unless you're Davina McCall.
If you want one, have one. I wouldn't get one that represents the end of a bad relationship as you don't want a permanent reminder of a bad time in your life. Some people like tattoos, some don't so you will get a range of views. Do what you want (you will anyway!)
Do we also refer to males who have tattoos in popular locations as "tramps"? Hideous, women judging women expression.
I got my first tattoo around 4 years ago when I was 34. It's a symbol on the inside of my wrist and personal to me. I adore it and have never regretted it. I also work and, on occasion, attend professionals meetings and Court hearings. I simply wear a watch which mainly covers it.
I got a second tattoo on my hip a while later. Again a personal symbol. Obviously nobody really sees this apart from me and DH!
I am contemplating a foot tattoo!
I am also reasonably well pierced.
I am certainly not a tramp or common
If you're not 100% sure (and you imply this with "is this a terrible idea" in your title) then don't do it.
Maybe write it on where you want it to go, write it back every time it washes off and if after a good few months you still want it there, get it permanently.
I think if you're sufficiently unsure that you need to come on here and ask then you aren't quite ready, as others have said, give it 6 months and see how you feel. In that time take a good look at people around you and their tattoos, if it's true that this type are everywhere now (I haven't noticed) will you still feel you want it?
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