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tweenie formal wear that's not a dress

(24 Posts)
siiiiiiiiigh Tue 30-Dec-14 12:06:54

Got a wedding in mid-Jan.

Got a nearly-11 year old tomboy to take to it, so have spent weeks trying to find an alternative to a frou-frou-frock - tunic/leggings, trouser suit, peplum top and trousers/leggings and found zero that hasn't made her screw her face up.

Have even tried to find fabric and attempt to make something acceptable - preferably in "not swishy material, but, maybe white with small, colourful beetles on it".

Anyone got any leads on what-to-put-your-quirky-tweenie in? Not pink or fluffy. Or too bright. Or too boring. Or with a scratchy seam.

Alternatively - anyone got tales of what happened when you forced a tweenie to wear a smart skater style dress with three quarter sleeves and a simple black/white rose pattern on it? Did she ruin the wedding with her tears and wailing?

Am trying to be encouraging, she's just not a girly girl. Am torn between wanting her to be comfortable and wanting her to just bloody well wear the not-perfect-frock.

Quangle Tue 30-Dec-14 12:09:24

I bought my dd some really nice dark turquoise velvet shorts which she wears with navy tights and a navy top with a bit of sparkle. Looks lovely but not girly.

Quangle Tue 30-Dec-14 12:12:59

This kind of thing?

Artandco Tue 30-Dec-14 12:15:39

Casual shirt, blazer, shorts ( and tights if cold)

traviata Tue 30-Dec-14 12:21:06


harem pants with blouse

HerrenaHarridan Tue 30-Dec-14 12:26:34

Skinny jeans, smart shirt/blouse. Coloured/ patterned waistcoat or plain smart jacket. Brouges.

ReallyBadParty Tue 30-Dec-14 12:27:07

What about something like this jumpsuit?

Maybe with some sparkly trim high tops...?

traviata Tue 30-Dec-14 12:28:12

more jumpsuits & playsuits

and here

TenMinutesEarly Tue 30-Dec-14 12:29:49

Go on the next sale and type in ponte. Two pinafore dresses come up with shirts. One has bugs on the shirt. She may hate it but worth a punt.

hellsbellsmelons Tue 30-Dec-14 12:30:03

Another suggesting shorts and tights.


SwedishEdith Tue 30-Dec-14 12:35:17

Shorts and tights - cord or velvet?

MyFirstName Tue 30-Dec-14 12:41:31

My 7 year old went through a no dress phase. She wore a Chinese style tunic (mandarin collar) over leggings with ballet pumps. She looked amazing (not biased at all) and perfectly weddingy enough.

yellowsnownoteatwillyou Tue 30-Dec-14 12:46:44

I was that child and was at a wedding at about 10, I was forced into a horrible outfit with trousers for the ceremony and meal but could wear whatever I wanted for the reception. This was suppose to appease me, I am however scowling in all the wedding photos.
I do wear lots of dresses now, but it took a long time to find things that suited me in my head and in real life.
The harem pants and a nice top would appeal to me now, but don't know how I would have felt about it at 10. Thou they would be very comfy, I wouldn't have been into tights at all so the shorts an tights combo wouldn't have worked.
I probably might have accepted boots, leggings, dress shrug thing, which is technically what I'm wearing now. grin

ReallyBadParty Tue 30-Dec-14 12:57:32

Or, look here, at zara : loads of really nice stretchy trousers, patterned and plain.

siiiiiiiiigh Tue 30-Dec-14 12:59:55

Thanks, folks.

She has shrugged at harem pants. "that might be ok"

Am shoving her onto a bus right now - going to try some on.

You're right, yellow - I want her to be pleasant at the wedding. She's a good kid, she'd wear what she hates to appease me, and stick a smile on her face for moments at a time, but, she'd not enjoy herself one bit and that'd show.

Boys are easier - kilts, no negotiation. Phew.

willowisp Tue 30-Dec-14 13:13:44

My DD (11) wore a black & cream rise whirled skater dress to a funeral & a couple of other occasions where smarter required & she was fine. She is also off pink, bright etc. She wore dress with black 60 denier tights & lace up school shoes with a little bolero cardigan.

I think it's important for kids to realised that it's not all about them & work on a compromise outfit. (If I'd had my way she'd have been in pale blue & colourful tights ! grin)

dazzlingdeborahrose Tue 30-Dec-14 13:18:01

I bought a lovely tweed shorts and jacket from monsoon for my daughter. She wears it with a plain t shirt, thick tights and baseball style converse. Something like that might work for your daughter ?

yellowsnownoteatwillyou Tue 30-Dec-14 13:45:34

Hope it goes well, I can remember standing in shops at that age, not having a clue what to wear and just feeling incredibly uncomfortable.
It's a rubbish age for clothes, especially if you don't really care but feel you should.

trufflesnout Wed 31-Dec-14 04:37:38

The hareem pants from H&M with the little heart print blouse is gorgeous. Tomboyish clothes are often v. informal and I think that little duet is great for a wedding and not at all girly. Did you have any luck at the shops?

siiiiiiiiigh Thu 01-Jan-15 17:29:41

Harem pants are a big hit - so, thanks. We've got some plain black ones and also some floral ones - jersey, so, not formal, but, good enough. Phew.

However...--dum dum duuuuum-- she likes this:

very girly frock

Doesn't love it, but, it got a shrug and "well, I do like beetles".

So, I've ordered it. She's said if she can wear it with white tights, her black wool biker jacket and high top trainers then it's a deal.

Crikey. Fingers crossed she'll try it on when it arrives. To be fair, she really does like bugs. I'd be happy with a frock festooned in cockroaches, so, I feel like I've lucked out!

I'm excited, it's a size too big, but, if she's happy in it it'll do the formal dance the P7s are subjected to in the summer term - been dreading that!

Pippidoeswhatshewants Thu 01-Jan-15 17:33:36

This lady here can make you a skater dress to your specifications, bugs and all:

CointreauVersial Thu 01-Jan-15 18:21:48

What a great thread. I have a very similar 11yo who has to be surgically separated from her beloved hoody and leggings combo whenever we have a formal occasion. I'm taking notes...

yellowsnownoteatwillyou Thu 01-Jan-15 21:10:23

grin So pleased for both of you

willowisp Fri 02-Jan-15 18:49:06

Is there a reason she won't wear proper shoes ? Not sure high top trainers are appropriate for any formal occasion especially a wedding.

My daughter wore black opaque tights & her (polished) school shoes, which worked well enough.

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