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To make it more difficult, I'm not thin (14-16) and I'm breastfeeding so want to be "accessible". Um, also hoping to be pregnant again by then as well!
So a fat maternity breastfeeding wedding dress please
Preferably a hire one, or preloved, no bare shoulders and not too much frill, although I do like lace. If not hire then something I can wear again, possibly if dyed, although I'm not dead set on white. Oh and I'm no spring chicken at 40!
think you are setting yourself a long list. I watch "Say Yes to the Dress" a lot on TLC and they always say, the longer the wish list you have the more difficult you are making it for yourself. It's a good programme to watch to get a feel for getting a wedding dress- you see a lot of different shapes and styles and how they suit people. and also how people sometime start off dead set on one thing, but try on something they think they'll hate and fall in love.
In particular I think the "no bare shoulder" but "accessible for breastfeeding" stipulations might be working in opposite directions for you if you want to meet both criteria in one garment, but you could be lucky. However, strapless, worn with a lace bolero could be your best bet there. If you go for a strapless empire line, you could accommodate a pregnant tummy there too.
If you go down the preloved or hire route, you are basically then just looking for one dress that meets all your requirements that is in your exact size. Which I think makes it more difficult and time consuming but not impossible. It's just you can't find the right thing then say "I want this in size x"- they've got it or they don't. With preloved you could buy a bigger dress and get it taken in. Same with sample sale dresses. My friend got a dress from these people: www.blissstudio.co.uk/ They do preloved and hire. They also buy back most gowns bought through them and have a "gowns wanted" feature where you can advertise for a particular style.
I would also consider finding a local dressmaker who will make you something. Go to John Lewis, look through pattern books and see if you can find something you want. I once got a big ballgown skirt with strappy shell top- looked like a one piece ball dress made in raw silk for about £150.
You could try the ghost dresses that John Lewis have.
They aren't frilly. They are dyeable. They do some with lace tops/sleeves May are empire line or bias cut so they would accommodate a pregnant tummy. Not sure how they would meet accessibility criteria but they do tick a lot of other boxes.
Good point made by a pp - wedding dress sizing is different to high street, so if you're looking at preloaded you'd want to consider dresses labelled as size 18/20 - best to get a tape measure out and triple check!
Have a look on etsy at infinity dresses. I believe they would fit all of your requirements, and the bonus is because you can wrap them lots of ways you can be confident it would work pregnant or not https://www.etsy.com/uk/market/infinity_dress