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Apples - how do you dress? Feeling despondent

(66 Posts)
NoveltySlippers Fri 19-Dec-14 20:39:41

Evening all

Please help a despondent apple.

This is me:

- All weight collects round my stomach (no waist to speak of)
- Love handles a plenty
- No hips
- Flat bum
- Sizeable boobs
- Chunky arms

Urgh - I just feel so top heavy and unfeminine. I'm 5'3" and a size 12 roughly but not unknown to have size 10 bottoms and size 14 tops.

I constantly have to wear cardigans as I look so shapeless from behind, and a cardigan disguises the fact that I don't really go in at the waist.

I can only wear V necks as anything high necked creates boob-shelf.

I am stuck in a rut and would love to know what other apples wear to make themselves feel good - both work and going out clothes.

My uniform of trousers with cardi is depressing me!

flowers in advance.

Botanicbaby Fri 19-Dec-14 21:07:09

empire line dresses can be good (as long as they are not too big for you in which case they make you look worse so beware!) as they flare out below your boobs but cover your stomach.

any top or dress that has long or 3/4 length sleeves.

tapered trousers with a nice heeled ankle boot. shoes can make all the difference to an outfit I find.

some wrap styles are very flattering, the better quality the material ones especially.

having nice detail on the top can help with a more feminine look, pearls, interesting buttons, any nice stitching whilst keeping the bottoms plain.

gaggiagirl Fri 19-Dec-14 21:13:25

I'm an Apple, tube skirts and body con and tights that hold me in are my friend. I'm a size 8 but same rules apply.

NoveltySlippers Fri 19-Dec-14 21:14:02

Thanks botanic.

Yes I've always been drawn to 3/4 length - good to know I've got that right. I wonder why that works?

Re wrap dresses - I've always been wary of them. Because I have no waist I thought wrap dresses would accentuate that fact? Am I wrong? (Would be great if I was as wrap dresses would suit the smart-casual vibe at work.)

NoveltySlippers Fri 19-Dec-14 21:16:07

Gaggia are you absolutely sure you're an apple? Body con just makes me look like a square shape as I've got no hips! (And the love handles are awful.)

NoveltySlippers Fri 19-Dec-14 21:32:11

Sorry Gaggia, just seen you're a size 8. Maybe that makes all the difference!

ElizabethHoover Fri 19-Dec-14 21:38:27

god no to wrap dresses unless oyu want to look 50

NoveltySlippers Fri 19-Dec-14 21:41:21

Hmm maybe not just yet elizabeth. I'm mid 30s... Though time does fly! smile

storynanny2 Fri 19-Dec-14 21:43:47

Wrap dresses look awful on Apple shapes even at 58 . So do empire line in my experience.
I tended to stick with the smart slim line trouser and top that skims rather than clings or is baggy.
I am similar size to you and have only managed to get a waist this year after losing weight. Although I was only 10 stone to start with I had to go down to below 9 before the waist appeared for the first time in 35 years!

wizzler Fri 19-Dec-14 21:46:39

Novelty.. I share your apple shape... Size 12 bottom half, size 14 top half. Have just lost a stone, which is good as it has reduced my tummy. Bum is disappointingly flat!

Yes to V necks, and 3/4 length sleeves. I tend to wear black tailored trousers... the ones that sit on the waist as I look ridiculous in anything that sits lower. .. and I wear them with a jacket rather than a cardi.

Am definitely not holding myself up as a style icon... am always at a loss when I have to go somewhere glam (luckily thats not very often!)

NoveltySlippers Fri 19-Dec-14 21:49:06

Hmm maybe my suspicions of the wrap dress were right then. I haven't had good experiences with them so far, I must say.

I always hover around 9 and 3/4 stone, so maybe the answer is to lose a few pounds to get some semblance of a waist. I find it very hard though and this weight seems to be my 'set point'.

How did you do it story?

NoveltySlippers Fri 19-Dec-14 21:51:44

Totally wizzler - I always sigh inwardly when I get invited to things where I'm expected to do glam. I really struggle! Hourglasses and pears don't know how lucky they are! envy

storynanny2 Fri 19-Dec-14 21:59:32

Well, basically I limited myself to 1000 calories for 2 months and wrote every single thing that passed my lips down in a very pretty notebook.
Then I did 1400 calories for the next 2 months, still writing it all down, last 2 months did 1500 till I got to my target.
I gave up bread, yeast, savoury snacks, rice completely. Had to give up some fruit to start with, had rice crackers for snacks when desperate!
Disclaimer- I have no children at home to cook for anymore and plenty of time to organise special meals, I remember how difficult it was to lose weight with children to cook for.
A typical day was
Skimmed milk in tea throughout day.
Natural yoghurt with berries for breakfast
Big salad with bit of protein lunchtime or soup.
Evening meal, very small version of what H was having without chips, rice etc.
If we were eating out I had a starter as a main and a small pudding.
It sounds boring but I was absolutely determined to get a waist before I was 60 and to put less pressure on my slightly arthritic knees.
I would add that although I don't drink alcohol I did add in chocolate treats from time to time!
Difficult part is now, trying to keep it off, but I have altered all my waistbands so no going back!

BillStickersIsInnocent Fri 19-Dec-14 22:04:33

I'm an apple, or an inverted triangle (broad shoulders, big boobs, tapers down to skinny legs)

I wear:

Slim cut trousers or skinnies
Boat or scoop neck loose fitting tops
Simple fitted jackets or blazers
Nothing frilly or sparkly or busy on top, and usually dark colours
Swing or shift dresses, really simple shapes
Jumper dresses
Shorts or tube minis with tights and boots

My legs are my best bit so I often wear short skirts or shorts, tights with heels and mid thigh dresses or slim cut trousers or skinnies. I usually wear lighter or brighter colours on the bottom half. I love patterned trousers.

Good shops for apples - jigsaw for trousers and jackets, massimo Dutti for jackets, cos for everything, whistles for t-shirts, tube skirts and dresses, boden for work tops, boat necks and bistro trousers, fat face for jeans, me and em quite good for dresses and knitwear, gap for great shorts, jaegar for everything.

I so wish I was more in proportion (envious of hourglasses) but it's never going to change so I'm getting more confident at dressing me. I also check myself when I'm admiring others dress sense (usually pears) because I know it'll never work on me!

NoveltySlippers Fri 19-Dec-14 22:15:53

Story thanks for sharing. Well done on your transformation! That's interesting about no rice, wheat etc. they say that if you collect fat round the middle you might have insulin issues so I've always suspected low GI / carb / Paleo is the way to go for apples. I used to low carb but found it too restrictive so trying to focus on just whole, unprocessed food but at times like now (Xmas) it's bloody hard!

BillStickers that's a helpful list. I'd forgotten that shift dresses totally work. Not sure what swing dresses are - if you have an example to post that would be great (if not I'll just google).

I absolutely have spent years feeling fenvy and you're right - it's pointless as it's just not the way we're built. I just wish clothes shopping were easier. I often think how stylishly I'd dress if I didn't have such an awkward figure smile.

The shop recommendations are very helpful too. As I get depressed / frustrated shopping for clothes Ive got into this awful habit of just going to M&S as there's lots of racks, it's inexpensive and they have basics. But I've been doing that since my 20s and some of the clothes are just awful and uninspiring. But as an apple I just get so sad in trendier shops!

Gillybobs Fri 19-Dec-14 22:55:21

Lots of useful stuff on Pinterest , sorry it's not letting me link but if you go on and search for "apple body shape" there are a tonne of interesting pins

NoveltySlippers Fri 19-Dec-14 23:31:11

Thanks Gilly, that's a good idea.

storynanny2 Fri 19-Dec-14 23:51:48

Another idea is to find a local dressmaker and ask her to make a "toile" of your dress shape. It shouldn't be too expensive then to get one to make you a few proper fitting dresses . My main problem is being very short waisted, I hardly have any space between my bust and waist so dresses never fit me properly without me altering them.

NoveltySlippers Sat 20-Dec-14 00:11:10

Story, I'm very short waisted too!

I think that exacerbates the problem, and that's why I think I just look 'wide' from behind, and wear cardigans to try and 'hide' it!

RojaGato Sat 20-Dec-14 06:25:52

My tactic is to make my hips look bigger for balance (currently size 12 bust, size 10 waist, size 8 hips) so

A line mini skirts
Drop waist dresses
Agree with 3/4 sleeves
Skirts/trousers with pockets on the hips
Swing dresses like this [[,mon_13.1/6451350110 one ]] but belted at the bottom of the rib cage to give some definition- kind of same effect as an empire line
Shift dresses
Halter necks (I have broad shoulders and these make my top half look less prominent)
Palazzo pants
Good bra really helps.
Wear a slip/petticoat under things, sounds odd but helps garments drape better

Paleo has helped me get more definition at waist. I go low-ish carb but not ultra low, as that can raise testosterone levels in some women and that leads to weight gain on tummy. Hip Hop Abs DVD is gradually making a difference too, as is meditation to reduce stress. Used to be size 12 bust, size 12 waist and size 6 hips, so it's starting to even out a bit.

BillStickersIsInnocent Sat 20-Dec-14 07:01:17

This is the sort of dress I wear swing dress although sadly not this one as too expensive.

Asos did loads last year, not this year though.

Not helpful sorry! Will search for current ones.

NoveltySlippers Sat 20-Dec-14 10:13:15

Roja that's really helpful, thanks. I didn't know that about very low carb and testosterone!

I always just assumed low carb unequivocally just reduces testosterone (and therefore weight gain in the middle issues). Good to know!

NoveltySlippers Sat 20-Dec-14 10:14:03

Bill thanks. Yes, any others you can find to link to would be fab!

Pompbear Sat 20-Dec-14 13:08:26 this is FAB

hollyisalovelyname Sat 20-Dec-14 13:26:09

But you're all size 8, 10 or 12 apples!!
What about size 16 apples.

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