Help me improve the way I look please

[imalostcause]

I stopped straightening my hair a few months ago and now let it dry in its natural curls. I decided to have a trim and told the hairdresser (working from home, not in a salon but came highly recommended) I wanted a bob, so she cut it straight, no layers so I wouldn't end up with a triangle supposedly.

It is awful, has no shape, and because I have a side parting it's huge on one side and not the other.

I don't know whether it's the weather but it's constantly just frizzy. I've tried using sls free shampoo and silicone free conditioner but it didn't improve the condition. I've been letting it dry naturally so it would shine when dry and curl, but it's awful, just awful. I have no money at all due to the fact dh has been out of work for over a year, although he starts a new job next week, so another trip to a hairdresser is out of the question for a few months at least.

Add to that the fact that I have put on a lot of weight due to feeling very down and eating cheap crap, I'm now between one and two dress sizes bigger and have absolutely no waist at all but look 6 months pregnant. None of my clothes fit, I live in leggings and 2 tunic tops I have which I hate. I work from home so don't need work clothes but still would like to feel better about myself. Obviously I can't afford new clothes and wouldn't like myself in anything anyway.

I also can't wear makeup because most things aggravate the skin around my eyes so it becomes flaky and sore.

I guess losing weight would help but I can't afford healthy food yet, we live on cheap stuff. I have only £50 max per week to spend on food for 2 adults and teen dd.

Also I think the anti depressants I take aren't helping. And I eat crap when I feel down too

And I look tired and old (I'm 50), I hate my glasses but can't afford contact lenses.

Any tips how I can improve things? Anything I can do about my hair? I thought about trying the mumsnet hair cut but I'm worried I'll make it even worse and also I don't want it shorter because it's shorter than I wanted anyway.

Grateful for any tips.

Sorry for the long post

[Smartiepants79]

Hmm that's a tricky one. Everything I can think of seems to cost money!
Is there really no way you can improve your diet at all? It would benefit all the family.
The only other suggestion I've got is exercise. Do you do any, are you able to?
It's not a good time of year to start but there are free/cheap things like walking/jogging that would help some of the weight come off and improve your mood perhaps.
Hopefully with your DH back on work things will start to improve and you can make some more positive changes in the near future.

[Tsoukalosy]

Is there any free walking groups you can join? As exercise is always easier with other people as it keeps you motivated and improves your moods .

[imalostcause]

I could live off vegetables but I know I wouldn't stick to it for longer than a day or 2. At the moment we eat cheap stuff like sausages, pie, sausage rolls, frozen breaded fish, frozen kievs, all from Aldi. I can't afford even cheap meat.

I could walk more but dh being at home has been very disruptive. Also in the morning I struggle to get up due to how depressed I feel and then in the afternoon I work and it's dark at 4

I know I have to change so many things and I hope things will get back to normal when dh is working. I just wish I could do something now to feel a bit better about the way I look.

[Bunbaker]

"I guess losing weight would help but I can't afford healthy food yet,"

Sorry, but I don't buy that at all. Can you buy fresh vegetables at the market? Do you have to eat meat?

[imalostcause]

The walking group is always early afternoon when I'm working.

[imalostcause]

Yes I could live off vegetables but I know I wouldn't stick to it for more than a day or two.

[Bunbaker]

Sorry, cross posted. Your diet sounds awfully unhealthy.

I know how difficult it is to get motivated to make lifestyle changes, but you really do need to ditch the sausage rolls and kievs. What is your problem with vegetables? There are loads of different and interesting ways to cook them. To me a meal without veg is dull and boring.

[Tsoukalosy]

Could you buy a stiludent cookbook? They are full of cheap usually healthy quick to prepare and delicious meals? I have one because im poor and it is great

[Tsoukalosy]

Student. Sorry

[imalostcause]

We eat veg but I don't eat cabbage or sprouts, lentils or beans or broccoli as they aggravate my ibs, so I'm pretty much limited to root veg. My family would not be happy with a diet of just root veg

[imalostcause]

Tsoukalosy is there a book you'd recommend?

[Tsoukalosy]

Couldn't there be a compromise of veg and main food or veg days in the week? Would be a lot healthier. Also i do think exercise would benefit you more to lift your mood and improve your self esteme. Is there anything you could do say jogging or taking a long walk everyday?

[Tsoukalosy]

Hamlyn the student cookbook is one i use

[imalostcause]

Thanks I'll look on eBay.

[santamarianovella]

OP,

Don't cut your hair, I once had a bad hair cut (I have wavy hair that frizz a lot> so the only way to disguise it was straightening, which I know you want to avoid, but maybe keep doing it till it grows? And then have a proper cut after a few months?

In regards to health food, you don't need to buy food labeled as organic, for everything, they are costly, some non organic is just as fine,also I know that a lot of healthy meals require fad foods like quinoa ,acai and such, ignore these, you can make a cheapish menu using pulses like couscous or lentils (not the tinned rubbish though) for salads and soup it so healthy, and cheap,
Look into Pinterest lots of healthy cheap recipes,

You should really stop eating all that junk food,and not just because of the weight gain issue, it can cause serious health issues like diabetes, high BP,
Cholestrol,

Try to walk in fresh air,daily it would do you good, and improve your mood,
Even if its dark,

Sometimes we get stuck in a rut, and its not easy to get out, but you have to try, and make an effort

Really hope things get better for you.x

[Haushinka]

I would get my hair cut at a college under the supervision of a tutor, not sure if you have to pay at all colleges or not.

I'd also be tempted to look around the house for stuff to ebay, then buy a couple of items of clothing for now, even if planning on losing weight.

Sorry if that's not that helpful x

[LauraPashley]

If you are on Facebook look for a group or page (rubbish with the right terminology sorry) called something like feed your family for a fiver - they post a few recipes every day and cost them all out, they are healthy and very cheap (and not all veg! Actually I think they tend to use too much stodge, but it is all homemade which has to be an improvement).
Can you tie your hair back? I am well overdue a haircut, big shapeless bob here too, so I have been tying it up, under the illusion that if I can't look groomed I can at least look neat and tidy!

[TheLeftovermonster]

You can make lots of stews with vegetables and a small bit of meat. Sausage rolls etc are a waste of money.

[captainweasel]

Would suggest starting small. Maybe eat veggie for two days a week. Lots of water. And walk when you can. Try aiming for half an hour a day.

Forget about your skin. That'll follow once you start eating better and exercising.

[imalostcause]

ok ..

I don't suit tied back hair. And I don't like it straightened anymore plus it was ruining my hair. I don't think I could face going to a college for a haircut as I have scalp psoriasis.

I'll look on pinterest, thanks.

I've been selling lots of bits and pieces in order to buy some Christmas presents for dd

[bunchoffives]

Could you ask the hairdresser to come back? Say you are really not happy with the cut and would like her to re-do it? If she's professional she should agree.

It might be worth looking in superdrug for foundation. This one is very soothing

Your diet doesn't sound too bad. I'd concentrate on exercise and feeling better first before trying to lose weight on top of everything else.

Also, do you have a library nearby where you could lend that cookbook rather than buy it? And may be stock up with some good novels for over the Christmas break to relax with and enjoy?

If your anti-ds aren't working it might be worth going back to your GP. I think sometimes you have to try a few different ones before you find one that really suits you and works for you.

[CrankItUp]

Just make one small change each day such as 'I'll go for a 5 minute walk today.'

Keep it small and doable, then you won't feel overwhelmed and do nothing....baby steps.

[imalostcause]

The haircut was 7 weeks ago so I can't ask her to recut it.

[imalostcause]

Thank you Crankitup, that makes sense, it's quite overwhelming, all of it together.

The local library is very small but I'll have a look to see if they have the book

[RojaGato]

Agree with CrankItUp. Something small each day you can build on, like plank for 30 secs one day, 1 minute the next and so on.

www.wikihow.com/Perform-the-Plank-Exercise

Seeing how much easier it gets and how much more you do will help build your confidence and make you feel a bit better too, not just fromt he exercise but from seeing your own progress.

It could be planking, squating, pushups (there are easier starter variations like doing them against a wall to start with). Anything that can be done anywhere in a few minutes allows you to start small and build up.

Good luck!