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Do you always look presentable for your DH.

(221 Posts)
hownow Thu 11-Dec-14 20:45:54

I'm a SAHM so DH no longer sees me dressed up to go out to work. I get dressed properly every day as we always leave the house but I wear pretty minimal make up and my hair is always in a bun for practicality. And I'm not the type to look great with my hair up! I only look somewhat attractive with my hair loose and styled (takes forever to do so isn't feasible on a regular basis).

I also remove makeup/double cleanse during bath time at 6ish so DH sees me with glasses on, bare face, hair up. Haven't got loads of cash so my loungewear leaves a lot to be desired.

Men are visual aren't they?! Should I be making more effort? What do you all do in terms of 'keeping up appearances' at home?

Pantone363 Thu 11-Dec-14 20:46:29




MrsSaginowsky Thu 11-Dec-14 20:46:40



pictish Thu 11-Dec-14 20:47:24

Fuck all. We are completely accepting of one another in our barest states.

Awks Thu 11-Dec-14 20:48:29

You're shitting me? No is the answer, I generally look like a bag of spanners.

PacificDogwood Thu 11-Dec-14 20:48:39

I truly hope you are kidding - do you feel under pressure to 'look presentable' 'for' hmm your DH?

Does he come home and the first thing he does is spruce himself up for you?

Thought not.

In answer to your question, no.
Hope you are ok.

MrsCampbellBlack Thu 11-Dec-14 20:48:51


I work with DH so he sees me looking made up etc but he also sees me in the evenings minus make up.

But I wouldn't want him to only see me looking less than my best.

CMOTDibbler Thu 11-Dec-14 20:49:48


JennyOnTheBlocks Thu 11-Dec-14 20:50:10

i always change into a fresh pinny, pinch my cheeks and bite my lips to give them some colour, rub a dob of flour on my nose so it looks cute for when DH comes in from a hard day's work

i'm not a lazy wife, i do some things around the house, and i don't think it harms him to be reminded every now and again

Bluestocking Thu 11-Dec-14 20:51:03

Are you serious?

MehsMum Thu 11-Dec-14 20:51:35

He sees me with the Morning Mohican before I have got the hairbrush onto it, with specs, looking, according to him, 'like a mole-rat'.

I see him in all his stubbly, hairy, manly glory.

I think he gets the better deal, TBH.

FamiliesShareGerms Thu 11-Dec-14 20:53:37

<ahem> I don't understand the question..?

hownow Thu 11-Dec-14 20:54:56

Pacific - don't feel under pressure at all; he has never said anything. But spark has gone somewhat since having kids and sex life / physical affection pretty low on the agenda. I used to make a lot of effort before kids - hair styled, nails done, nice outfit. Find it so hard to keep that up with life as it is. Feeling a little envious of women who are naturally very attractive without all the gloss!

Just interesting to hear what goes on in other households!

ohmychrist Thu 11-Dec-14 20:56:28

"For" my DH?! Ha, ha, haaaa!

Flibbertyjibbet Thu 11-Dec-14 20:57:43

No I look presentable for myself. Dp is welcome to admire me if he's in the room.

What is double cleansing. ..... I take my makeup off at bedtime.
I work in an office, he works on building sites. Perhaps I should put some pressure on him to look more presentable for me in the evenings, instead of sitting around in grubby work clothes and in need of a shave?

Trills Thu 11-Dec-14 20:58:32

Is there anything wrong with your daytime clothes, that you feel the need to get into "loungewear" at 6pm? If you'd like your DH to see you wearing real clothes, get some daytime clothes that are comfortable so you are happy to wear them until bedtime, but that also look nice.

Reading the title I was going to do the ironic laugh as well, but if your DH ONLY sees you in your "ready for bed" state (and not the good kind of ready for bed) then I can see why you might feel less attractive and therefore feel less interested in sex.

What you wear affects how you feel, not just how you look to others.

hownow Thu 11-Dec-14 20:58:56

Ok this thread has definitely gone in a different direction than anticipated. My wording could have been better.

I'm guessing nobody who makes an effort to look their best at home is going to chime in now?!

PacificDogwood Thu 11-Dec-14 21:00:55

It sounds to me like you are putting the pressure on yourself.

A good sex life has nothing to do with grooming, and all with the level on intimacy. Do feel supported by him in your role as a SAHM? Does he do his share of childcare/housework when he is at home? Do you have loving, physical, non-sexual contact together? You know, cuddle on the sofa - that kind of thing?

Truly, it's nothing to do with lip gloss or nail polish, and all to do with how many relationships change when DCs come in the mix.

How much effort does he make? Sorry to repeat myself.

berceuse Thu 11-Dec-14 21:02:03

OP - I do actually make an effort tbh if I have time. In that I mean showered, hair washed and ironed clothes when he is due home from work (works away).

I don't do polish and paint, just well presented because on days home alone I often look like I haven't seen a bath for weeks.

Do whatever you feel happy with.

BIWI Thu 11-Dec-14 21:02:34

It's not about making an effort so much as being yourself, and accepting that. You and your husband live together and should appreciate each other for who you are, not what you look like when you're well scrubbed up.

If you're so worried about how well you can maintain your physical appearance, via make up and clothing, it's a bit alarming.

MakeMeWarmThisWinter Thu 11-Dec-14 21:03:05

I enjoy dressing well and wearing makeup etc - that's part of me. I slob out in the evenings in my dressing gown, that's me too.

What's the point in a relationship where you live together, in sickness and in health etc, go through pregnancies and children, all sorts - but can't be yourself? I don't think DH would have fallen in love with me if I wasn't me, so I'm not going to question myself too much! This feels like a question from the 50s.

confused79 Thu 11-Dec-14 21:03:35

Well I generally like to be presentable so partners never seen me with chipped nail polish, or unruly lady garden as I do that for myself. But, I don't always do makeup or do my hair, and he has to deal with my beauty regimes I've found on Google, like latex gloves with vaseline and astral face masks grin Why he's still with me, I don't know, the stuff he has to put up, lol.

Charingcrossbun Thu 11-Dec-14 21:04:48

Jennyontheblocks you must have read the same book as me. It was given to my grandmother by her mum when she got married in 1930. It is a guide to life called "common sense about sex". It is amazing and has a lovely page on how to look presentable for your DH when he gets home from work... It also has a whole chapter on things to do with your man to protect your virginity before you get married like playing charades and playing ping pong (I kid you not).
Hopefully times have changed op!

BuntyCollocks Thu 11-Dec-14 21:05:19

I'm in a onesie.


aliciaj Thu 11-Dec-14 21:05:36

I agree with a good sex life doesn't have anything to do with grooming.

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