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Trying too hard?

(64 Posts)
ilovethewinter Sat 06-Dec-14 11:32:06

I'm 48, and realise that now I have to put a little more effort into looking good or at least presentable, both in time and the products I use.Recently I have noticed a trend in ladies of my more mature age maybe trying a little too hard. Am I alone in thinking this? you know, over dyed, coiffured hair, tons of make up and clothes and jewellery more suited to strictly(and this is while out shopping!) Maybe its me and I need to try even harder,but personally I think its a bit much.

SofaCanary Sat 06-Dec-14 12:16:10

Yes, that bothers me too, I think less is often more as you get older - hair left a bit disheveled, lip balm instead of precisely applied lipstick. The key is to strike a balance between looking groomed but artlessly undone.

hauntedhenry Sat 06-Dec-14 13:26:51

Yep, I agree. Recently I was standing on an escalator behind a woman wearing beautiful clothes. She had a great body but I could tell she was 'old' by her over done hair. Very ageing.

polyhymnia Sat 06-Dec-14 13:42:25

Absolutely agree. Few things more ageing than very obviously 'done' , too neat hair and overdone eyes and lips. I'm very much in favour of ' no makeup makeup' - lip balms, not bright powdery lipsticks etc.

Some 'statement' necklaces can also be too try hard.

And over matched shoes and bags.

polyhymnia Sat 06-Dec-14 13:46:29

Ooh and thick, powdery foundation instead of light application of tinted moisturiser.

ilovethewinter Sat 06-Dec-14 14:00:39

I'm glad some of you agree with me. I didn't want too come across as bitchy. What prompted me to write this, was that yesterday when I was out in town,this look was most obvious.What really did it was 2 overly blond women late 40's ish, in short fur coats, leggings and studded high heel boots! I began to wonder if maybe I should up my game!

squoosh Sat 06-Dec-14 14:59:34

I'll still be wearing bright lipstick when I'm 99!

'No makeup makeup' my tail end.

NotTodaySatan Sat 06-Dec-14 15:11:37

No makeup makeup is fine for the school run.

I wear red lipstick, fur coats, high heels and my hair in a beehive to go shopping. I'll still be doing it when I'm in my 80s 40s. A distinct personal style is much more impressive/appealing to me than blending into the background in tasteful muted tones.

thewaroftheroses Sat 06-Dec-14 15:14:52

I agree that it can be really ageing and unattractive. I saw a pair of women v similar to those that you are describing- expensive, 'perfect' hair, v overdone fake tan, outfits as above. Their faces looked older than they probably were because of all the fake tan/ make up, sharp corners of the hair style. The overall effect was that they were trying far too hard and looked a bit desperate.

I also notice examples of gorgeous looking women in their 50s/ 60s/ 70s with glowing skin, lovely figures, clothes that suit them but they don't try to look 'perfect' and look a million times better and more attractive than the pair of some above.

MilkThistle187 Sat 06-Dec-14 15:16:24

No matter what age you are I think you should dress to please yourself, not passers-by

TheCowThatLaughs Sat 06-Dec-14 15:18:43

I see this more often in younger women tbh, wearing what I would consider to be "too much" makeup, which to my (old) eyes is not flattering, but I expect I look equally shit to them if they even notice me

dexter73 Sat 06-Dec-14 15:42:14

I agree with you Milkthistle.

SofaCanary Sat 06-Dec-14 15:48:13

Are you Patsy Stone, NotToday? grin

Bunbaker Sat 06-Dec-14 15:51:14

I know what you mean TheCow. On our Christmas do last night, one of my, much younger, colleagues looked so "try too hard" with her OTT outfit, fake tan, way too much makeup etc that she looked really out of place compared to the rest of us.

But she probably thought I looked old and dowdy (but I'm OK with that).

TheCowThatLaughs Sat 06-Dec-14 16:11:04

Exactly Bunbaker, but who am I to judge? I do wonder sometimes if people can see properly or put their makeup on in a darkish room or whatever, but I think it's just that some women do prefer to trowel it on a bit, each to their own though!

MaryWestmacott Sat 06-Dec-14 16:16:10

I think that after a certain age, it's easier to do "overdone" than "underdone but amazing" - because most underdone ends up looking "underdone and looking a bit scruffy" unless you have real skill and time.

Annoyingly, it's often easier to do really 'done' blow dried hair and makeup than spending twice as long looking like you are 'just naturally beautiful' once you're past 30.

polyhymnia Sat 06-Dec-14 16:20:00

I guess it is indeed a matter of personal taste - I prefer the 'no makeup' look and always have (I do have quite dewy skin that needs little coverage). And I loathe bright lipstick, so have never worn it.

I do also think - but this is a separate point - that bright red lipstick draws attention to lines round the mouth and lips. But if people feel good wearing it because they feel it reflects their individual personality, then they may well look more confident and happy I guess, which is in itself flattering.

dexter73 Sat 06-Dec-14 16:47:36

I'm not keen on the term 'trying too hard' for someone who wears too much make-up and has their hair done. Does the opposite apply? Is someone who doesn't wear make-up and have their hair done 'not trying hard enough'?

maudpringles Sat 06-Dec-14 16:59:06

I am all for dressing and wearing what the heck you want....but, there is a certain hair colour that is being used on older ladies that is just so unflattering.
It's a goldy/ blonde shade and I am seeing it more and more and it hasnt looked good on anyone I have seen.These ladies are almost always made and dressed up very well however this hair colour is what I deem try too hard.

MaryWestmacott Sat 06-Dec-14 17:27:53

dexter - agree it's a horrible phrase.

I think a lot of people think by not looking like they 'try too hard', they instead look 'effortlessly chic' but most woman don't, they look 'not making an effort' or 'given up'.

'Effortlessly chic' and 'natural beauty' are very hard to get right and take far more effort than 'over done' for the average woman to achieve.

Bunbaker Sat 06-Dec-14 17:35:35

Fair point dexter, but this work colleague just looked so overdone - makeup trowelled on, far too much fake tan, hair lacquered to within an inch of its life and her outfit - all my male colleagues had their eyes out on stilts because it left nothing to the imagination.

I sound like a jealous old bag don't I, but IMO she would have looked far more attractive if she had applied the less is more approach (except for her clothes grin)

SofaCanary Sat 06-Dec-14 18:12:59

It's very difficult to look like you've 'given up' if you attend to the basics such as perfectly tinted and shaped eyebrows, conditioned shiny hair, immaculate nails and so forth.

It really doesn't have to be all or nothing, just avoid gilding the lily wink

polyhymnia Sat 06-Dec-14 18:17:16

What Sofa said

squoosh Sat 06-Dec-14 18:19:22


dexter73 Sat 06-Dec-14 18:32:39

Having perfectly tinted and shaped eyebrows, conditioned shiny hair, immaculate nails etc. seems like quite a big effort to me, not basics blush! Maybe I have let myself go and need to try harder.

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