My daughter is going to a friend's 16th birthday party, to be held at home in the evening. The invitation specifies "formal": friend has always loved dressing-up, and what better excuse to get glamorous!! I expect she and the other girls will be wearing evening dresses. Dd has been thinking about gender identity and conformity and has said that for some years now she has felt very uncomfortable and "not herself" in a dress, especially a formal one. Last party (smart but not formal), she crept off to the loo halfway through and changed from her dress back into jeans and baggy t-shirt, and felt embarrassed about having done so.
I observed that for certain occasions (e.g. if you're a bridesmaid who is asked to wear a particular outfit) you just have to suck it up and conform in order to please your host, but this doesn't seem to be such an occasion. Dd says that the birthday girl is unlikely to be offended no matter what dd wears, so long as she makes a good faith effort. Her friends are all quite cool, and I don't anticipate anybody would make a fuss unless dd turned up in ancient jeans because she couldn't be bothered to dress up.
So this could be a good opportunity for dd to be herself, but it's tricky. I suggested a tux, but that didn't appeal. 1) She doesn't want to look like a man either. She dislikes the polarisation of gender roles. 2) I suppose it's difficult to buy a tux that would fit her curves?
Any ideas?
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Androgynous formalwear for teen
17 replies
Saracen · 28/11/2014 23:23
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TheAwfulDaughter ·
28/11/2014 23:43
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TheAwfulDaughter ·
28/11/2014 23:46
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