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Glamourous work clothes for fat me?

(62 Posts)
MiscellaneousAssortment Thu 07-Aug-14 21:12:01

I am disabled so can't move around much (at all), and so am fat, particularly around the waist.

I've been hiding in tunics and dresses for ages, but now feel out of sync with my ultra fashionable work colleagues. I know i cant look beautiful as i am, but ive gone for a line or high waisted floaty things to hide the bulge, and Ive got stuck in a boden/ salt/ monsoon/ m&s horror show - I need to change!

I went to a work event in my usual skinny trousers plus empire waisted floaty top, and felt so dowdy. Colleagues were all wearing tailored and fabulous black numbers with cool/ different details / shaping and towering high heels.

I defo can't do the high heels but was hoping I could get a couple of snazzy and sharp outfits into my wardrobe so I don't feel utterly humiliated.

But where to shop and how to adapt the look for fatness? I find things that squeeze and press on my tummy hurt too much to wear, and tend to look bad too as I get fat rolls and creases... Just to add to the problem.

Any ideas gratefully received...

PinkandTwinkly Thu 07-Aug-14 21:17:10

Oversized tops/tunics can make you look dowdy and bigger than you are.

Try wearing your skinny trousers with a fitted top, in a block colour then lift eyes from your tummy but wearing a fabulous scarf or chucking necklace.

Dontgotosleep Thu 07-Aug-14 21:18:39

Please before we go any further stop putting yourself down. I hate anyone undermining themselves. re calling yourself Fat.
I'm size 24 and I shop at new look simply be or evans. The clothes in Simply be a beautiful and the service is second to none.

Dontgotosleep Thu 07-Aug-14 21:22:24

Absolutly pink anything oversized doesn't look great. I wear belts with all my dresses as it emphsizes my curves which I love.

MiscellaneousAssortment Thu 07-Aug-14 21:28:02

Thank you, what kind of fitted tops do people wear these days?

And yes, I do put myself down, i know its a big issue and definitely bigger than this thread. I hate what I've become, and the way I can't look like who I am anymore. It's because I've become disabled that I look like this. I have scars and wounds and burns all over me and for the last few years ive been trying to hide myself rather than make the best of myself.

Anyway, dressing better might help me feel more human.

MiscellaneousAssortment Thu 07-Aug-14 21:55:35

Am looking at Simply Be and I think the problem is that I'm overwhelmed by all the choice.

Imagine I've been shut away in a tower Rapunzel style for five years with no human contact (not so far from the truth... and my hair could definitely los like its been ignored that long!)

I don't have a clue anymore, not only am I dressing for a whole new body type, I feel older too, and just so distant from the world.

What's fashionable now? What's stylish? What can i wear to fit in with the absolutely achingly hip people at work? Think central London media types...


Lucked Thu 07-Aug-14 21:59:34

What size are you?

Also height, best features, what you want to reveal/conceal, colouring and best colours?

MrsLettuce Thu 07-Aug-14 22:14:02

I'm sure we can help you get some stuff and feel better about this one. As you say it might well help in a broader sense too. Sounds like you've had one hell of a time. Slowly, slowly catch the monkey.

Are you in a chair?

MrsLettuce Thu 07-Aug-14 22:16:17

A good hair cut will really help, as you say. Any ideas on what you fancy doing?

MiscellaneousAssortment Thu 07-Aug-14 22:24:13

5ft 10
Not sure what size, maybe 20/22 for things that need to fit stomach (like trousers), and 18 on top. I've got thin bones so the fat really hangs on me.

Conceal: bum, hips, stomach, mainly stomach.
Reveal: legs are not fat but looks weird with fat torso, but they are in principle ok (not bare). Up side of fat = boobs.

I'm pale with dark hair (used to have blonde hair & would like to go back).

I get red around my nose so tend to clear clear of colours that bring it out like red near my face.

I wear black alot, I like scarves to brighten up though.
Im not great at bright colours or block colours, but maybe patterns make me look less up to date / chic)

I used to look cool and quirky clothes, off beat or not too serious. extravagant or exaggerated stuff. But don't feel up to doing that anymore though I guess it's still my personality lurking in there somewhere.

I love jewelry, though haven't got much anymore. Maybe I should get some but don't know where anymore.

Mrsgrumble Thu 07-Aug-14 22:26:04

What about having a look at the mango plus size range? Seems really good

MiscellaneousAssortment Thu 07-Aug-14 22:35:42

Cross posted. Thank you flowers

I need to start again and get I bit of the old me back again, and clothes, jewelry, hair definitely will help. I'd like to feel feminine/ womanly again, as I've lost that with everything that's happened, and it's not a good way to live.

I use a scooter (& feel humiliated about it though I'm glad I have it as was housebound without. One day I'll have to use a chair though). Can't walk very far, and use a stick. Got a really nice stick though, wooden with a rabbits head - ears are the handle bit. so although I hate using it at least it's got a bit of the old quirkiness in it.

I only go out to go to work two afternoons a week, and I can't sit in the main office for long, so use a side room with a sofa to lie on. Work is definitely the style marker in my life. I want to fit in again. I'd like to go out with my little boy more as well but I take days to recover from one outing. Like, I went to the dentist yesterday and have been in bed ever since recovering.

FloozeyLoozey Thu 07-Aug-14 22:43:35

Op, google mary demetera, a plus size blogger. She's a big lady but has fabulous dress sense and finds the most beautiful outfits. She's on YouTube/Twitter/instagram/facebook. I think she gets a lot of outfits online from asos curve.

MrsLettuce Thu 07-Aug-14 22:47:13

Crikey, you sound like one hell of a strong person. It's good that you manage to stretch yourself sometimes, I'm sure feeling more like yourself will make you feel a bit more solid, IYSWIM. Your stick sounds fabulous, I know the sort.

Agree about the mango range. Also asos.

Mary Portas might appeal
I love this
another of hers
more worky
another one

FloozeyLoozey Thu 07-Aug-14 22:53:05

Sorry op spelt her name wrong, it's mary demetra.

MiscellaneousAssortment Thu 07-Aug-14 22:56:08

Thanks for all the advice, am looking through it slowly...

What about this from the Mango range?

lapel dress

Lucked Thu 07-Aug-14 23:03:20

I like it although I think it is more formal office rather than hip work place. I know you wear a lot of black but from your colouring you describe (sounds like me) I don't think black and white are your best colours.

I have never had my colours done but feel pretty confident with what suits me. Lots of mumsneters swear by house of colour consultations.

Lucked Thu 07-Aug-14 23:12:42

this skirt with layered tops a bit like the model although I am not keen on the white layer.

MiscellaneousAssortment Thu 07-Aug-14 23:18:50

I love the Mary Portas dresses - I actually had a flicker of excitement when I clicked on those links shock.

I like the slightly 'not normal' shapes (im sure theres a better way of saying that!) and they feel a bit stylish vs covering up IYSWIM? I wonder what they'd look like on? I wonder if the cocoon one would be too voluminous or stylish?

In general, with a erm 'bigger' body, do you have to wear more structured stuff than before?

Oh and last thought of the night - I used to wear cardigans to add style/ colour, but they've all died a death now & been replaced with blah ones. I had one really nice one which was pink wool on the front and the whole of the back was metallic woven gold, I loved it. It got shrunk. Do people wear stuff like that anymore?

MrsLettuce Thu 07-Aug-14 23:26:29

grin thought you might. I suspect the majority of her Westwood inspired stuff is pretty damned flattering.

Cardigans: TBH I get the impression you could carry off most things, when in the mood. So, yeah, absolutely go with some slightly mad knitwear!

MrsLettuce Thu 07-Aug-14 23:30:54

Oh heck, if you do order stuff to try from there you have to try this (skirt)

MiscellaneousAssortment Thu 07-Aug-14 23:34:59

Yes I think you're right Lucked, I do like that skirt. What kind of top would go with something like that? That white bit looks like a weird bib!

I'm going to have to do some buying tomorrow... I think I should get a whole range of different things as I have absolutely no clue what will fit and what will make me feel a bit more like me... I've been buying stuff that fits okish, and not even trying to hope for things that I like.

MiscellaneousAssortment Thu 07-Aug-14 23:47:04

I like this though they've only got it in a 16...

Selks Fri 08-Aug-14 00:07:42

Look A- shift dress with chunky jewellery, legs moisturised and a little fake tanned, and low court shoes or low strappy sandals
Look B -shell top (which looks smart, skims rather than clings but doesn't drown like a tunic), cigarette trousers and smart ballerina flats
Get a good smart jacket that you could wear with both outfits, I'm thinking something a little boxy in shape would look chic
Get a good handbag, something classy and timeless looking
And treat yourself to new hair - get a good cut and colour.
Think about makeup, if you wear any; I'm thinking a strong lipstick would look good.
That's my suggestions style wise....but most important to work on your overall self esteem. Comparing ourselves to others is never good for us! Half of looking great is attitude.

Oly4 Fri 08-Aug-14 17:54:56

I love that Lapel dress you chose and all the Mary Portas ones. I work in Central London media and I think you'd look cool and stylish in those! Good luck OP. I'm sorry you've had a rough time but you sound really strong and I agree that you could carry off anything if you put your mind to it!

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