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I have four weeks to lose a gazillion lbs and look good.

(64 Posts)
Eyelet Mon 09-Jun-14 20:00:52

Wedding of a very close friend is the 4th July.
Baby is one.
Went on the hen do Saturday night and I shit you not all the women (35 in number) were trim and stylish.
I had gold plated intentions of getting fit after pregnancy (buggered up CS needing extensive physio to even be able to walk let alone run).
Baby doesn't sleep so I am fuelled mostly by sugar.
ANY attempt to ditch carbs erodes my milk supply.

I'm fat, frumpy and pushing forty. My face is bloated and my skin is shit. Older dd is a bridesmaid and I've been told already I'll be in quite a few photos.

I don't know what to wear, makeup, hair and quite fancy a hole in the ground or paper bag.

Usually I do spend on an occasion like this but I'm not really able to this time. I looked at Joe Brown halter nexk summery dresses but as I'm still feeding I have boobs the size of watermelons and several other bumps in the wrong places. Pre baby I was a slim size 10/12. Now I have no idea.

Myfirst S&B thread. Please be gentle!

reluctantphotographer Mon 09-Jun-14 20:02:54

Marking spot. I have nine weeks. I am fat, frumpy and well over forty. Baby is twelve.

I'm fucked, aren't I?

Cereal0ffender Mon 09-Jun-14 20:07:36

Get some control pants, nice makeup, hairdo, relax. You could lose 2lbs a week by dieting and exercise but tbh it is so hard to do when you are knackered.

Cereal0ffender Mon 09-Jun-14 20:07:59

Lol at baby is 12

TessTackle Mon 09-Jun-14 20:08:11

Ok so I'm going to give you advice that I'm not following, but does work.

1. Water is your best friend right now. Will cutdown on bloat, fill you up and improve your skin

2. Dich the fizzy drinks, massive bloater and empty calories.

3. Try and cut down on carbs; if you can cut them out

4. Replace carbs with loads of veg

5. Walk everywhere especially now the weather is improving. Take the baby out at every opportunity!

Good luck thanks

Cereal0ffender Mon 09-Jun-14 20:09:19

Get a fake bake and as much sleep as possible

TessTackle Mon 09-Jun-14 20:09:48

Oh I didn't see about your milk supply. Replace bad carbs like bread with good 'uns like sweet potato

hmc Mon 09-Jun-14 20:10:24

What cereal offender said - take extra care on your choice of outfit, get a manicure etc etc. You can still look good carrying a few pounds. Leave the diet for now

Cereal0ffender Mon 09-Jun-14 20:14:27

I got married when dd was 8 months old, I had knockers you could see from space. I got control knickers and a great get up and felt fantastic.

mumofsnotbags Mon 09-Jun-14 20:36:25

Same as you OP.

Cousins 30th on 4th July. Were all going on Holiday. I have to get into a bikini or costume at some point. Im now 12 stone 8. I was 13.6. For the past 2 weeks ive done celebrity slim - bought the massive jar of milkshake powders so it lasts longer. and also some cheapy ones off ebay.

Like you fuelled by sugar, ds is 2 but still a bad sleeper so up regularly through the night. I also agree with cutting down the bad carbs. I dont feel hungry at all on these shakes, something i found myself surprised at if im honest. If it was so horrible id of give it up but they are really nice, cookies and cream or vanilla are especially delicious too.

Also fake tan, hair and makeup done and some spanx and you'll known em dead smile

francesthebadger Mon 09-Jun-14 20:40:53

Get lovely frock, nails/blow dry etc you can feel fabulous. And yes yes to control knickers!

(If you want to tweak things, carbs just in the morning worked for me whilst BFing).

Eyelet Mon 09-Jun-14 20:43:33

Ok great advice. reluctantphotographer welcome to my nightmare!

Except I don't know what hair what makeup and what dress.

Spanx I know about. Decent bra also on the shopping list.

RiojaHaze Mon 09-Jun-14 20:43:38

It's only a temporary fix but a body wrap like Shrinking Violet can help get rid of a bit of water retention for a special event.

RiojaHaze Mon 09-Jun-14 20:44:47

Make up - go to a big Boots or Mac counter in a House of Fraser and get them to do a run through.

Hopefully Mon 09-Jun-14 20:48:26

Am currently on the countdown to a friend's wedding too, baby is 10 weeks old. My plan includes:

- couch to 5k + 30 day shred (alternate days, 5 days a week). Am 5 weeks into c25k and have lost something like 8lb with no dieting
- attempt to eat 'real' food instead of processed food - ie cake is ok of times homemade! Much more satisfying so I eat a bit less
- only eat when hungry, and make an effort to fill up on healthy things before sugar - ie carrot sticks and houmous, then a biscuit or whatever if stuff hungry, decent sized dinner with lots of veg then pudding only if I really fancy it
- move wherever possible - I am embracing the fact that DC3 only sleeps in the sling, on the move and using it as an excuse to walk lots - I take DC2 to the park and walk round the playground while he plays. Lots of rushing up and down stairs etc during the day - burning four calories on the stairs is four more than sitting still!
- decent skincare
- drink lots
- fat pants - Spanx go from knee to boobs
- Sally Hansen spray on legs - i don't like fake tan but love this instead of tights in summer
- manicure and pedicure (at home) the week before the wedding
- drink lots (did I already say that?)
- attempt to get as much sleep as possible, it definitely aids weight loss for me.

coffeeinbed Mon 09-Jun-14 20:50:44

Plain yogurt, as much as you can.

Or add some cucumber and mint or dill and black pepper and blend.
Really fills you up and de bloats and stops you from snacking.

Dry brushing, body oil and some exercise.
It can be done.

Eyelet Mon 09-Jun-14 21:04:57

Well I've just lept on the scales and I'm 13s 5lb

joy. I was 11s before I fell pregnant.

Plenty of water
NO SQUASH (I don't drink fizzy)
Carbs for breakfast only

In a week I'll come back with some ideas for outfits. I've got a hair appointment booked for the early morning to put my hair up (with two small dc my hair down will just get messy).

Can't really exercise, still ongoing issues, but I can walk more and can walk every lunchtime.

Eyelet Mon 09-Jun-14 21:05:50


specialsubject Mon 09-Jun-14 21:19:14

eat properly (no silly diets, complex carbs are an essential part of nutrition). But do lose any crap that you are eating, if you are.

that said - you weren't able to walk this time last year (and it still sounds difficult) and you have a demanding small person to take care of! So get hair styled to suit, wear a dress to show off spectacular figure and flatter, and smile.

enjoy the day.

MsVenus Mon 09-Jun-14 21:25:28

Try the 30 day shred diet

and a complimentary stylist session with John Lewis or Debenhams to give you outfit ideas:

Can you wear spanx comfortably if you have c-section scars? Would you need to go up a size to eat/breathe? Maybe a control vest/slip from m&s would give you more gentle support.

BrunoBrookesDinedAlone Mon 09-Jun-14 21:34:00

If cutting carbs is out, how about just ditching wheat?

Rye bread for toast
Potatoes, sweet potato
Brown rice aplenty.

Not too bad...

nilbyname Mon 09-Jun-14 21:36:24

Walk everywhere. If you can, get a gym trial and use it like a bastard for the 4 weeks. Every opportunity you get go there, and do this

select speed 5km/h its a fast walk, and incline at least 1, up to 4 if you can muster it. Do 30 mins everyday. Make sure you take it easy, but work up a sweat. Get to the gym NO MATTER WHAT. I am in gym stuff all the time, hand the baby to DH, walk out when he walks in.

Get the PTrainer to talk you through the machines, but you want upper body stuff, 15/20 reps 3 sets. Take care with your tummy. Get advice.

Could you manage 5 full flow through sun salutations- look on you tube for a how to.

Sunbed--I know I know, but honestly it will give you such a healthy all over glow. I have just been for a course of 6 for a function. It looks lovely. No more now though. Either that or a good spray tan the day before.

Go to john lewis and get a personal shopper app, they will help you and be awesome!

Wear something you love, wear something you can move in.

Eat a high protein diet and start switching out your carbs for lots and lots of greens.

Breakfast- Rye Bread with peanut butter, 2 eggs scrambled
Lunch- Massive salad with smoked salmon
Dinner- grilled chicken or fish, lots of green. If you need them, try legumes or whole grains for a carb fix.

Drink water. Masses of it. Chamomile tea is nice too.

Moisturise. Exfoliate. Mani/Pedi.

travailtotravel Mon 09-Jun-14 21:43:31

Can you get to a department store or similar and the services of a personal shopper?

Eyelet Mon 09-Jun-14 21:55:03

I genuinely physically cannot exercise that much. My stomach is absolutely stuffed up, I have a large section of my leg which is numb which makes running uncomfortable. I am my own worst enemy. Also 1yo is a diabolical sleeper and so I'll cut out the crap but will struggle for energy!

I am NOT wearing a maxidress, would love some sort of summery number but my legs sadly are pale and unbecoming! If I wore tights then I'll have to upgrade my wedding flats!

Eyelet Mon 09-Jun-14 21:55:47

Will ring jl personal shopper first thing tomorrow!

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