I've Lost my Looks...

[MixedUpConfusion]

This was me 5 days ago. I'm 44 years old, I have no idea what suits me, no idea if I'm a "warm" or a "cool" (my arm veins are green and I have hazel...mainly green...eyes!), I'm overweight (size 14... 10 years ago I was size 6/8), hair going grey (but allergic to hair dye so quiff it to hide a multitude of sins!) and just feel like a fat ugly lump. Please help style me! But please don't be nasty about how I look, I'm feeling very delicate and have bad anxiety

[desperateforaholiday]

Are you kidding me? You've got lovely skin and thick shiny hair, you arnt overweight.
I have no idea about colours etc but you look nice in what your wearing.
Don't be so harsh on yourself.

[livenlet]

Sorry cant help with styling you but you should think of the positives ie you have grat skin , fabulus cheeks, im ten years younger than you I wish my skin was as clear as yours. Oh you could always try henna for your hair

[MadBusLady]

Is this a stealth boast?

You look like you're wearing colours and styles that suit you (that green is working particularly well - google the dark/deep autumn palette and see what else you've got in those colours), you have a nice smile and twinkly eyes, your lip and nail colour is great and I wish I had the nerve to do my hair like that!

If the weight bothers you head over to the 5:2 or paleo diet threads (others will have their recommends, those are the ones that worked for me). Hair colour I'm not sure about - do you know exactly what you're allergic to? I have used Daniel Field watercolours in the past which are pretty good and supposed not to have a lot of the major nasties in. There are going grey threads on here as well, but I feel your pain, my hair's almost as dark as yours, it's bloody hard to grey gracefully! Your hair does look in much better condition than mine though, probably because I keep covering it in dye.

[MadBusLady]

Also I am loving the drink matching to shirt look, might steal that

[SundaySimmons]

You look rather fabulous to me!

Eyebrows frame the face and yours are a lovely shape.

Your cheekbones are gorgeous.

Skin looks blemish free and youthful.

Make up looks great.

Nails look fabulous.

You don't look a size 14 in the photo, so maybe you dress well! You could drop a couple of stone if you think it would make you feel more body confident, but you run the risk of losing weight around your face which could leave you looking good, so if I was you I wouldn't aim for a big weight loss, maybe drop a dress size and see how you look first.

If I was going to change anything about you, I would go for a softer hairstyle. Long hair suits you, but the quiff is quite severe and you have delicate features.

You are an attractive lady, so don't put yourself down, you most certainly haven't lost your looks.

[Amrapaali]

Gosh, you have a lovely smile!

[Snog]

you look great.
Are you saying you used to look even better? photo evidence please!

[belleprof]

You look hot and full of passion and v alive. I love your green blouse and your hair is quirky but cool :)

[rodgette]

You look great, I am 37, feel like you and don't look anywhere near as good
[insert huge sigh here please..]

You are smiling and I think people who smile are sooooo much more attractive. :)

[Flangeofmingetown]

I think you look great and I love the grey in your hair. I think a long face framing Vidal Sasson style bob would look fantastic on you.

[Flangeofmingetown]

This sort of thing...
here

[bialystockandbloom]

You look great, and much younger than 44!

Just wanted to also add that I'm allergic to hair dye, and am getting too many greys to hide now, and v dark brunette too. I have highlights (technically lowlights as I match my own colour), which doesn't get right down to the scalp of course, but does the job. Annoyingly expensive though, grr.

[MixedUpConfusion]

Aww, I feel all emotional now! Thanks everyone, I just feel really plain and in a rut! My skin is good, rarely get a spot...it's just everything else! I'm just under 5ft 6 and weigh 12st 8 and definitely overweight. I think that's my main cause of stress.

For my hair I use Aveda Black Malva shampoo and conditioner and just leave the conditioner on as long as my shower lasts to get as much colour enhancement as possible!

snog This was just two years ago... my hair wasn't grey, my face was thinner, I haven't got a hint of jowl... I feel like I've suddenly aged in a short space of time!

But thanks for all the lovely comments, it does make me feel better about my self, and Flangeofmingetown I do love a bob!

[Aquelven]

You haven't lost your looks. You look better now, softer & prettier.
Your skin is much nicer pale than the yellowish tone in the older photo. I would say you are a cool colouring, you suit the black & dark colours. Your lipstick is right too.
If you were to change anything,I'd cut your hair a little, not very short, perhaps just above shoulder length with more softness & width at the sides.
Don't worry about the grey, your colouring can take it & look good. I went white in my twenties & am taken, by strangers, as a platinum blonde who gets it professionally dyed!

[amothersplaceisinthewrong]

You have lovely hair, but I would ditch the quiff. And you have gorgeous skin and don't look overweight.

[MixedUpConfusion]

Thanks, I've often wondered if I was cool or warm, and after reading conflicting advice about green veins vs blue veins, I was still none the wiser! I'll go with cool

And thanks everyone I'll stick with the make-up and colours I wear anyway!

[Pannacotta]

I agree that your hair looks better a bit softer.
I saw this in M&S the other day, worth a try for the grey perhaps?
www.marksandspencer.com/josh-wood-dark-brown-blending-wand-28ml/p/p22270709

[MixedUpConfusion]

Pannacotta Excellent! I looked at these when they got them in a month or two ago but were all sold out!! Then kind of forgot all about them... brilliant

[Pannacotta]

I also think you look lovely with slighter shorter hair, going from the pics. It also makes it look more bouncy in a shorter cut.
Hope the M&S thingies work! Wish there was a similar product to hide wrinkles!

[netty36]

You really look lovely!
You see yourself differently than other people see you.
Don't worry your life away xxx

[AgathaF]

You look great so no advice really on anything. But, you mention being unable to use hair dye. Lush henna is brill here and they do a blackish one too which might be just the thing to cover your grey if that's something that bothers you.

[Snog]

OP others clearly see you as a right stunner (both then and now) so I think it's partly how you see and feel about yourself that needs a boost.
Keeping your weight low doesn't normally help your face as you get older imo so I wouldn't necessarily try to get to a size 6 again.
Why not try one of those advice sessions that john Lewis/ HOC etc offer to help discover the right style for you right now?

[JapaneseMargaret]

Gosh, you are lovely looking.

And I bet you are gas craic on a night out.

[Eliza22]

You have lovely, lovely skin. Cheekbones that give your face (even though you think it's fat!) a lovely shape. I was going to say, perhaps a hair trim? Some layers to "lift" your face but then I read down and saw your hair shorter and yes, it looked good so, you could wear it any way you choose.

Maybe some exercise? I highly recommend the free Couch to 5k. I've lost over a stone doing it and I've NEVER been a runner!

I think you look great but it's what you think that's important

[Amrapaali]

Can I make a gentle suggestion though?

You are lovely, but please don't do the "duckface" pout. That is teenage crap and it doesn't even look good on teenagers.