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Dress for a parent's funeral

(26 Posts)
Fukeit Mon 03-Mar-14 10:56:23

My Dad died last week and I've got nothing to wear for his funeral.

Where should I start looking for black dress and jacket? Should it be wool like a man's suit?

I'm clueless as I've never worked somewhere where smart dress was required so I don't even know where you can get good 'work wear'.

If it makes a difference I'm early 30s, 5'5, 10/12.

Thanks, at this rate I'll be in a horrible shiny polyester disaster from 1998.

FauxFox Mon 03-Mar-14 11:08:04

So sorry for your loss.

I would go for a comfy jersey long sleeve black dress so you can just wear your coat over, no need for separate jacket. Phase eight have some nice quality ones wrap or ruches that would look smart.

nomorebooze Mon 03-Mar-14 11:08:39

so sorry for your loss! have you got black coat you could wear? its still freezing out there with a scarf and black dress! something like this

www.next.co.uk/x53140s3#891987x53

frankietwospots Mon 03-Mar-14 11:09:18

Sorry to hear about your dad OP.

I had a similar dilemma when attending a family funeral a while ago and decided to wear separates since I was more likely to get some wear out of them afterwards. So, as a suggestion and not knowing what kind of things you like, how about a pencil skirt with a smart top, and perhaps a simple necklace? You could add a jacket too. A pencil skirt always looks smart and is easy to style with black opaque tights and perhaps some patent heels.

www.boden.co.uk/en-GB/Womens-Skirts/WQ083-BLK/Womens-Black-Ponte-Pencil-Skirt.html

www.boden.co.uk/en-GB/Womens-Tops-T-shirts/3_4-Sleeved-Tops/WL784-BLK/Womens-Black-Wrap-Jersey-Top.html?NavGroupID=18

Navy or dark grey might also be an alternative for the jacket e.g.

www.boden.co.uk/en-GB/Womens-Coats-Jackets/Jackets/WQ061-DGY/Womens-Dark-Grey-Melange-Spot-City-Wool-Jacket.html?NavGroupID=2

nomorebooze Mon 03-Mar-14 11:10:06

this is pretty?

www.next.co.uk/x532382s7

minniemagoo Mon 03-Mar-14 11:41:40

Sorry for your loss X
I wore black trousers, dark blue shirt and warm black jacket for Dads funeral - the graveyard bit was so cold and I was able to wear everything as seperates after though it took me a good year to wear the top again as I couldn't put it on without grief. I bought the bits in Next and jacket in Debenhams.

fridgepants Mon 03-Mar-14 11:44:57

I was broke when my dad died, and was miles away from home and my wardrobe at the time, so I went to Tesco and bought a sober-coloured jersey dress. I didn't have any 'workwear' at the time as I worked in a casual office, and there was a big Tesco near my mum's house so I didn't have to go shopping (her town has very little). If you think you wouldn't want to wear it again because of bad memories, this might be a good option?

cloudskitchen Mon 03-Mar-14 19:24:00

I was in marks and spencers the day before my mums funeral and I spotted a pale pink wool coat which I bought and wore over blavk top and trousers. I hadn't planned to wear a colour but it just felt right somehow.

I'm so sorry for your loss. It's such a tough time xx

polyhymnia Mon 03-Mar-14 19:40:56

So sorry for your loss.
I would go for a sober coloured -not necessarily black dress - perhaps a jersey or wool knit dress. Worth looking at Boden clearance section.
With a dark but again not necessarily black coat, opaques and black boots. I don't think that Next pretty pretty scarf is terribly suitable for a funeral, to be honest.

LoveVintage Mon 03-Mar-14 19:53:10

Sorry for your loss. My dear dad died 5 years ago. I had appropriate work clothes that I was happy to wear - a black and white tweed a line skirt, and black jacket - but I went out and bought a bright pink and jade green scarf as I knew my dad would expect me not to completely conform to "traditional funeral wear". My two sisters did the same. It raised a smile.

However my lovely FIL died in January - he was a very traditional man, so I wore a black Kaliko dress I already had with a black coat and very low key grey scarf. It felt right for him.

It is not about being fashionable or whatever, but I do think it is something you want to feel "right" for so I hope you get something you feel happy with. I hope you get through it ok.

Fukeit Mon 03-Mar-14 19:57:23

Sorry I've been trying to reply all day but the combination of two preschoolers and funeral arrangements have been getting in the way.

fox thank you I like both those dresses and my mum liked them too. How are Phase 8's sizes? She is anything from a 12-16 depending on a shops sizing.

booze after thinking I wouldn't touch Next I actually really like that dress and it would suit my shape I think. Thanks.

Frankie thanks for all the Boden links, they are nice too.

I probably need some shoes too. I've only got knee high boots and they aren't really smart enough. I need some court shoes I think (not really sure what I'm talking about something with a smallish heel that I can easily walk in)

What do you all think about the Next dress? Should I be going more classic?

bishboschone Mon 03-Mar-14 19:59:00

My dad died last year and I had the same dilemma .. I am a very casual person and have rather a hourglass figure. I went to try on loads of dresses and looked like some sexy secretary .. I felt so uncomfortable so I chose a casual ish black patterned skater style dress and wore black opaques and Mary Janes. It was much more me that a black shift dress and jacket and I still looked smart . Hope it goes ok.. X

NCISaddict Mon 03-Mar-14 19:59:27

flowers for you.
For my Father's funeral I wore a black shift dress from Jaegar and a black mid thigh length jacket from Planet. He was very traditional and I know he would have approved.

LoveVintage Mon 03-Mar-14 20:08:30

The Next dress is nice and would be fine. You could wear it with flats such as brogues, or a small heel. You don't need to go classic at all, better to wear something that feels more "you" so you don't spend the day feeling uncomfortable.

Fukeit Mon 03-Mar-14 20:15:57

Thank you for the support and advice.

I like the idea of some wearing some colour if it suited the personality of the deceased. My Dad was traditional so I'm going with black.

frankietwospots Mon 03-Mar-14 20:23:29

Sticking with Next (and I like the dress by the way), how about these shoes:

www.next.co.uk/x533312s2#779690x53

Low heel and the reviews seem good.

Fukeit Mon 03-Mar-14 20:31:29

Thanks Frankie, it might be my phone, but I can't see those shoes I'll try tomorrow on the laptop.

FauxFox Mon 03-Mar-14 20:45:45

Phase 8 are pretty true to size I find. Debenhams online has lots of low heel shoes at reasonable prices, have a search ��

NaturalBlondeYeahRight Mon 03-Mar-14 20:54:16

Got a lovely black dress in boden sale that I've worn loads since. The larger sainsburys have a good selection of black shoes (not too high) but actually I did wear my knee high boots as it was winter. No one really looks tbh.

PoisonousCentipede Mon 03-Mar-14 21:32:53

Can't link at the moment but I wore the Pandora Ponte dress from monsoon for my father's funeral recently. I'm older, shorter and rounder than you but the dress hung well and was a nice quality - I felt respectable enough.

Whitetara Mon 03-Mar-14 21:50:53

Sorry for your loss. For my father's funeral I wore a black shift dress from jigsaw, a smart cropped black cardigan/shrug type thing, and a bright pink belt. It felt just right for the occasion.

The dress I got was such a classic LBD that I've subsequently worn it to other events, but accessorised differently.

TheGruffalo2 Mon 03-Mar-14 22:13:41

So sorry for your loss.

I must confess I wasn't prepared to spend on an outfit for my parent's funeral as I knew I would never want to wear it again. I knew every time I put it on I would remember the high emotions of the funeral and it would make me sad, instead of remembering the happier times with them. I was away from home and my own clothes during the bereavement and funeral arrangements so I even ended up borrowing a coat that was two sizes to big, as between the death and the funeral the weather had changed drastically from summery short sleeves to needing a winter coat. I ended up wearing a very old black and cream patterned skirt with a dark top and beige cardigan. I felt smart enough. No one really pays that much attention to clothes at a funeral so go for what you feel right in and what your dad would have liked.

Fukeit Mon 03-Mar-14 23:52:45

Thanks all this is massively helpful.

I'm sorry you've all lost a parent. It's all new territory for me. I watched 'Bridesmaids' tonight and laughed a lot at it. Then I suddenly remembered about Dad and the feelings were almost overwhelming. It doesn't seem real.

I really like the monsoon dress thanks poisonous
Sainsburys and Debenhams are both local to me and a great idea thanks.

expatinscotland Mon 03-Mar-14 23:53:59

I wore a navy blue skirt suit with a white top to DD1's funeral and sensible pumps. M&S is your friend in these situations.

I am sorry for your loss.

Fukeit Tue 04-Mar-14 07:29:09

I'm so sorry about your lovely daughter Expat

Thanks M&S is a great idea. I know they've had a lot of stick on here, but they still have good staples.

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