42 and ready for the scrap heap :((15 Posts)
I'm feeling middle aged and frumpy beyond belief. My friends are all younger or have the money to always look fabulous. I am not particularly overweight but my jeans no longer feel comfy so I cover them with baggy jumpers. My skin is beginning to get a bit thread-vein-y, and my hair is thick and heavy.
I am saving up for a proper hair colour at the hairdresser, rather than my efforts using a supermarket hair colour, and I have started wearing a bit of mascara (foundation brings me out in spots), but I am a bit desperate for any other ideas? Am on a bit of a budget so can't do a shopping spree, but just want to feel attractive again.
Blusher! It gives you a bit of a lift when you are feeling old and grey (ish) and its February. Possibly try a bit of BB cream/ tinted moisturiser (but that might annoy your skin) to feel a bit more polished too.
And I think we all have times when jeans don't work. When I hit 35 nothing seemed to fit me right anymore. Try skirts or dresses - just a basic knitted dress or skirt with leggings and boots and one of your baggy jumpers over could look a lot more fun without costing a fortune. Try supermarkets, Next, primark, New Look, H and M for cheap versions to give it a whirl. Or wear things you have that you think are too smart, just for a change.
lots of sleep and water, more veg and cut down on sugary/processed food if you eat it.
Find some exercises on youtube or make yourself up a little programme eg bit of walking, swimming, squats etc, as exercise will make you feel much better about yourself.
Don't worry about thread veins just get some concealer eg MUA which is £1 and maybe treat yourself to a new lipstick and deep conditioner or hot oil.
If you can save up for one, a bbh would be great for getting your hair under control. But most of all it sounds like just feeling good about yourself, so treat yourself a bit more - baths, library books, etc
Thank you for the ideas - I will experiment a bit more with make-up, and I love tunics and knitted dresses, so will investigate. (I have one from White Stuff but have been wearing it for about 10 years, so it's not ideal!) And yes, hermione, you're right - I need to do a bit of exercise - at the very least it will make me feel like I am a bit more in control.
The problem is that I work from home on my own all day - if I go out, it's to take the DCs to their clubs or to do the food shop, so I think I've lost the incentive to put any effort in to making myself feel/look good - which I why I feel scraggy and unattractive.
I feel in need of a plan and a bit of a makeover, but on hardly any budget, so your ideas have been very useful - much appreciated
In the morning, once you're up & about, spend just give minutes putting on mascara, lipgloss or lipstick & definitely blusher. You'll look & so feel much brighter to face the day, it really helps
Instead of sloppy jumpers try a more fitted top with a cardigan over the top, looks a bit more stylish & gives you a bit more shape so less frumpy.
An inexpensive skirt or a pair of black jeans or trousers might make you feel a bit more pulled together & go with the tops you already have.
I work at home too & it's easy to get into a rut, I know, but honestly just taking those fifteen minutes for yourself in a morning does make a huge difference to how you feel for the rest of the day.
how about setting yourself a goal, like 0-5k or something like that, to do each lunchtime. It'll get you out and about, the exercise and fresh air will do you the power of good. That is entirely free!
Thanks all - I'm inspired! I've spent the afternoon cleaning my room and the bathroom, ready for the new improved me, dug out some cleanser and toner that I bought months ago but forgot about, and booked myself a haircut for tomorrow, with a proper stylist, not a student like I normally do.
I think I'd struggle with the 0-5K as my knees and ankles are prone to problems, but I am eyeing up the 30 day shred, especially as it's on you tube for free! Off to sort through my wardrobe to sort out some new "staples" that aren't jeans - Starting to feel a bit more positive already!
well done OP I'd say chuck or put away any clothes that really don't make you feel good - even if you end up with 3 or 4 outfits that you quite like you can rotate them and will make you feel better also you might find or be able to treat yourself to a new scarf or belt or something, to jazz up what you've got
A few of the local hairdressers where I am are doing half price colour offers in March. The Benefit counter is doing an eyebrow shape in March for a donation only. I agree with the others about going through your clothes and keeping only nice, good clothes to wear. Plus lipstick and perfume.
Shred was terrible for my knees somehow and jogging actually better.
I'm 41 and feel better and prettier than I did in my 30s.
Work mostly from home too!
* clothes that fit and flatter (available at any budget, today's outfit is all H&M and less than £50 total - baggy tunics do nothing for me but wearing boyfriends and balancing their relaxed shape with a structured short top)
* mineral makeup for the glow (also covers rosacea-related stuff like thread veins and redness, Lily Lolo sample pots cost less than £2), blusher (Bourjois as good as Chanel, but wearing Lily Lolo Rose Glow today) and lip gloss and a platinum/taupe eye pencil
* hair blow-dried every 2 days - makes a huge difference
* regular cut and highlights - DIYs never worked for me
* general positive outlook
Definitely chuck out anything that doesn't make you feel great. I had a wardrobe of nice clothes that I saved for best and spent every day in crappy ill-fitting things to 'save' on the others. Madness. Chucked out all the baggy bottoms and pilled knitwear and now I don't have any clothes to wear that make me feel crap.
Def buy few clothes that fit - baggy loose tops look rubbish.
I dont bother with foundation much but always wear mascara, lip tint bit of concealer - takes 2 min
Just had a go at sorting clothes but finding it quite difficult as I'm not sure I would be left with many! I might need to get a couple of new things before I can get rid of the old ones.
Just had a bath and found my tube of lovely Weleda face mask cream at the bottom of my make up bag. Started to put it on and realised it didn't smell particularly endearing, so checked the use by date - end Aug 2001 !!!
I am really appreciating all your suggestions - thank you so much. Have just ordered sample pots of Lily Lolo, as after 20 years or so of not wearing foundation, I think the time has come... might try tinted moisturiser first.
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