How do some women always manage to look so put together and downright gorgeous?(276 Posts)
Is it just 'inbuilt' style that they're born with? If so, I'm incredibly jealous!!
My friend always looks amazing and really stylish but I find it really hard to put my finger on what it is that makes her look special. She's not overly tall, and is slim but not skinny (size 12), and certainly doesn't spend a fortune on beauty treatments/products or clothes, or having her hair done.
Her outfits are usually fairly simple; just jeans with a nice top usually, and she wears accessories such as a necklace or a large scarf. She always wears make up, but again it's fairly simple, nothing garish. And hair in a bun or just down and wavy.
So on paper she doesn't dress particularly differently to probably 90% of other women, but she always manages to stand out.
How do some women do this? I'd love to know the secret
so I can stop looking like a bag lady
I think sometimes its just a confidence. That being confortable in your own skin thing however from what you have said perhaps it's the way she accessorises that's the key. Accessories can elevate a fairly plain outfit to something more put together.
A combo of two of the following is usually the answer, unfortunately.
Genes. Time. Money. Sleep.
I bet you any money she thinks she's lacking!
Ah yes, she is quite a confident person. At ease with herself, I'd say. Good genes, yes. Time, I'm guessing not as she has two young boys lol. Money, no, she always says they are skint, especially as she is a SAHM now. And sleep, definitely, her boys both sleep really well.
I'm always trying to perfect this look myself. I would love to have that effortless stylish look. Any more advice / tips from MN?
You have described exactly how she manages to look so put together:
- jeans and a nice top
- hair in a bun or wavy.
I think anyone would look good with that combination.
I always feel more put together when I wear a statement necklace or scarf. It's such a simple thing to do. I really should do it more often!
I dunno Gemma, that describes me (minus the accessories - can't stand them) and I manage to look like a hedgemonster half the time
I reckon a lot of it is how you carry yourself. Deportment never seems to be considered in the style magazines, though.
From what I've seen and read "fit" seems to be important too. I feel much more polished if I'm wearing something that fits perfectly. Probably why we all seem to spend a ridiculous amour of time searching for that perfect pair of jeans !
Sleep I never had and still don't get, I had a very challenging little boy nothing much changed just older now. Always complimented on my turnout at the school gate. Never went out without make up and a brush through my hair and nails painted and earings. Wore clothes that complimented my shape and the right colours. I was an older Mum too, so cant say youth played a part. It was a chore but it was my thing to make me feel better for the day and also didn't want to let my little boy down, looking like something a bus had run over.
Use your evenings effectively, watching your fave tv programme, get those nails painted. Too pushed to wash the hair in the morning, do it the evening before, failing that put it in a neat pony tail or up in a clip.
I think that other people probably look at you and think the same. I can name quite a few people who I consider to have mastered this look of effortlessly stylish. I was shocked when a friend said the same to me. In my mind I always look cobbled together due to the effort of getting ready with a toddler.
Posture makes a big difference I think. Also not looking cluttered - people with short necks and wavy hair that sits close to the neck (like me) can look cluttered in scarves unless they have a very simple neckline and hair up. The same for dangly earrings. I also have to wear my hair off my face if I am wearing glasses.
Unfortunately my hair is the sort that looks like I've been dragged through a hedge backwards the minute I step out the door in anything stronger than a very light breeze, so unless I wear it up (when I get cold ears) I can end up looking a right state.
This fascinates me as well. The other day I was gawping at a woman at soft play who was the sane kind of height and build as me, and similar colouring as well. She was only wearing jeans, a top and a scarf but she looked stunning.
I think being slim helps but I think it's a lot to do with nine structure. I'm slim but have no cheekbones and a baby face.
Rudy surely you mean a maximumof 3 colours?
OP: I would say, wearing fewer colours is one key to looking "put-together". 3 is an absolute maximum, and only if one is a neutral. Anything more looks cluttered and busy.
Good quality accessories make a huge difference, IMO! A smart leather belt, or a gold necklace or bracelet. Natural fibres for clothes. Well-made leather shoes. All kept in good condition - shoes polished, clothes ironed etc.
And I would say that it does actually take time and effort to obtain that "effortless", naturally groomed look! She may look like she just threw it on in the morning, but I would be willing to bet money it's actually carefully thought out and planned in advance or at the time of purchase so it all works together
Same with grooming - her hairstyle may be simple, but do you really know how many hours a week she spends doing treatments, how often she gets it trimmed, coloured etc...?
Looking good takes organisation. You need a wardrobe of tightly edited flattering clothes that suit your figure and lifestyle and you need to make sure they are clean, ironed, repaired etc as necessary.
And you need a grooming routine, an exercise routine, a diet routine... It all becomes "effortless" when you are so practiced at maintaining it that it is part of who you are.
Chic neutrals, good materials, attention to proportions, good grooming and ironing a lot.
Plus feeling good and smiling a lot.
Fascinates me too - a couple of mums I know always look great, no matter whether it is the school fayre, sports day or just the morning/afternoon school runs, good weather or bad - they always seem to manage to put together the 'right' look.
Was trying to analyse what it is about them that makes them always look so smart and polished, as I could do with taking a few tips and upping my own 'look' now DCs are a little older and I have a bit more time for myself.
The main points I can think of are that they always look groomed and tidy - hair done, make up on but it always looks exactly the same each day so it seems that they have found their look. One mum who has longer length hair sometimes styles it differently, but by and large wears it in the same style. Their hair always looks healthy and shiny and the colour is always immaculate, no growing out showing etc. They all have one of the popular hairstyles around at the moment, eg, asymmetric bob or longer length with side fringe.
Wouldn't say that they dress in the height of fashion, but seem to have a knack for filtering what is around in the current trends that suits them and put a 'look' together from it. They have a style that is very much their own and suits them and looks fashionable and ££s. Wouldn't say that they have a massive wardrobe of clothing, or lots of expensive labels yet always seem to look 'right' for the occasion. They are all slim/average build and have good facial bone structure.
Wish I could do that - I just seem to have lost the knack since having the DCs and it is pure luck IMHO if I get it right! <sigh>
It's time spent on maintenance rather than decorating.
Things you think you haven't noticed, but you have.
Her 'simple' hair is probably well maintained, no split ends.
Her 'ordinary' clothes are probably good quality even if she buys them on ebay - yes, it makes a difference after one wash!
Her 'understated' makeup is enhanced by good skin, well shaped brows etc.
Bonsoir is right about the edited wardrobe.
I think this is actually the key thing. These women probably have fewer, nicer clothes that they've thought about before buying.
Increasingly, I am also of the belief that decent quality shoes, especially in autumn/winter, are extremely important. If you wear slip-ons from Primark they're going to look very ratty very fast. I notice this now with the younger women I know -- they still buy their shoes in Primark and it's very much a student/intern look. (I used to do the same when a student/intern etc. too of course!) A mother of young children needs good shoes. Also, they're an easy thing to solve, really. Feet don't have fat days or spotty days
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