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I currently use this for contouring with great results. I'm very pale and don't generally use bronzer (because it can look dirty on my face). Taupe blush (try an eye shadow first) can also work if you are very pale.
You want something totally 'flat'-not even a hint of shimmer no matter how fine. If you're really pale (like me!) then going for something grey based as you're already doing is a good idea. I use Illamasqua's 'Hollow' which is a cream and fab. Chanel did a beautiful greyish powder based one last year but I think it was limited edition. I have the Sleek kits and they're great but the palest one is too dark for me.
This is what it looks like on me (not me though) - google image search "Lily Lolo Rose Glow" for more pics / swatches. (I'm a blusher snob but haven't touched my Chanel and Nars after finding this handy all-in-one compact.)
That's really pretty as a blusher. Not sure I'd use something that pink or shimmery as a contour but everyone likes different things. When I contour I'm aiming to create a natural looking shadow so it's important there's no shimmer or real colour to it.
at my House of Colour colour analysis day I was told not to wear bronzer or similar as the yellow tones would make me look yellow or paler. I need to stick to pinkier colours apparently & I must admit I looked 'weller' on it. Not to say you'd be the same but just to bear in mind that bronzer is not good for everyone.
Our colourings sound the same, try NYX blush in taupe. It's an American brand but you can pick it up on eBay for around £6inc postage. I use the NYX for my contouring, Chanel creme blush in Affinité, then either Benefit high beam or MUA undress your skin highlighter. This combo makes my skin glow and look really pretty rather than pale and ill looking as it has in the past!
Amodelrecommends raves about the bodyshop bronzer and I bought it and have to agree. Previously used hoola but the bodyshop one is even more natural on my fair skin. I also use a peach blusher as my skin is pink toned.
Not shimmery at all. And very neutral toned so no orange-ness either. If you have a look on YouTube there's a lot of contouring tutorials for pale skin that use it so you'll be able to get a good idea of the shade. I wouldn't use anything else now. Such a bargain too