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I rarely get a haircut I am happy with. Do I need to pay more or be more assertive with the hairdresser?

(21 Posts)
stupidhair Mon 10-Feb-14 14:45:37

I hate going to the hairdressers. I hate the whole experience: Small
talk, staring at myself in the mirror, feeling deficient in hair-dressing terminology. I've just had a cut and colour that I am not happy with. I'm rarely happy with the way my hair is cut or if I am, I go back to them and after a few times they stop cutting it the way I liked it.

I want to go to a hairdresser that will understand my hair type, face shape, styling restrictions etc...and make suggestions to me. I'm clearly saying the wrong things to them if I'm always disappointed. I'd be happy to go to a more expensive stylist if I knew that's what I would get. I'd hate to pay more and find that I'm expected to tell them what to do to my hair.

How do you handle the hairdresser? What are you doing that I should be doing?

At the moment I want to cry when I look in the mirror and think of the money I just wasted to have an unflattering cut and colour sob.

dashoflime Mon 10-Feb-14 14:53:45

I think you need to be more specific with the hairdresser and give up on the idea that they will make suggestions for you.
I used to be the same as you and come out of the hairdressers with styles that weren't really me. Where I was going wrong was walking in, indicating a vague length and letting the stylist do her own thing. They're not mind readers and they don't know you- so its bound to turn out badly.
One day I went into a hairdresser and there just happened to be a picture of the exact cut I wanted on the wall so I just pointed at it and said "like that." Much better.
I would suggest having a good think about what you would like before you go in then bringing in a pic from a magazine if (like me) you aren't good at explaining what you want.

frankietwospots Mon 10-Feb-14 14:58:35

I've just changed hairdresser as I felt I was getting sub standard cuts and lazy colouring. I looked on Pinterest to get ideas for what style I wanted and took my iPad along to the new hairdresser. It's much better and she did actually listen to my ideas and concerns. I think it also helps to switch to a hairdresser that is recommended to you because they then feel a certain amount of pressure to do a good job and you might also get a discount!

CrispyCrochet Mon 10-Feb-14 15:08:34

OP just go back if you aren't happy. Tell then exactly what it is you don't like it. Try to be as specific as possible.

I agree that taking photos of what you like is a great idea however as you probably realise so many magazine pictures are mostly down to the styling as the cut is likely a layered basic jobbie.

Getting your hair done should be an enjoyable experience - I love it. I think you just need to practice not being so British. grin Assuming you are British of course.

burnishedsilver Mon 10-Feb-14 15:12:29

Tony and guy is the only place that I can consistently get a decent haircut. Every so often I go elsewhere for a cheaper cut but always regret it.

trader21c Mon 10-Feb-14 23:55:15

How much do you pay at Tony and Guy?

TulipOHare Tue 11-Feb-14 00:39:23

I always buy a couple of hair mags before I go and take in 1-5 pictures so I can say "I want it like that but about that length and with that fringe" grin

furlinedsheepskinjacket Tue 11-Feb-14 01:07:54

yy to pics also keep shopping around until you find the right one

if you don't enjoy the experience how about getting a mobile to come to your home

furlinedsheepskinjacket Tue 11-Feb-14 01:09:04

oh and paying a lot doesn't mean you get the best either

scarlet76 Tue 11-Feb-14 06:05:05

As others have said, I take a few pictures along.
I'm also quite specific about what tones I want when having it highlighted.
As I've got older, I've learnt to be more assertive. I will say I want the fringe shorter or more layers etc...
If the hairdresser is still doing their own thing regardless. Time to find a different one.

FlirtingFail Tue 11-Feb-14 06:13:48

Ask somebody you know with good hair where they get it cut.

Or if you see somebody with great hair of the same kind of yours, ask them. I did this, and found a brilliant hairdresser.

Chocolatestain Tue 11-Feb-14 06:31:41

Personal recommendation is a good way to go - and ask for the name of a particular stylist as some will be more better than others within a salon. A good stylist should be prepared to have a bit of a chat with you about your hair type and what sort of style you are looking for. It's also worth thinking about how much effort you are prepared to put into maintaining a style. If it needs daily blow drying or tonging and you're a wash and go kind of woman, you'll always be disappointed with it.

stupidhair Wed 12-Feb-14 08:04:09

Thanks everyone. I am so British about these things. But now I am quite angry that I am paying for a service that isn't being done even close to my satisfaction, I think I'm ready to change. smile

I will take a picture next time. I have some pinned to Pinterest so will take a tablet or smartphone along and show the hairdresser lots of ideas. It seems like a better option than cutting out a photo from a magazine. I agree it is difficult with pictures though because the hair tends to be styled and doesn't always give an idea of how it will look when it is in my hands to style.

Something I have never understood is that they charge one price for a cut and then charge a higher price for a restyle. I've worried that if I take along pictures and talk too much indepth about what I want that they'll charge me for a restyle. What constitutes a restyle consultation?

Finally, yes, I will ask people for recommendations.There is someone on the playground whose hair I like. I'll get over my Britishness and ask her where she got it cut.

Chocolatestain Wed 12-Feb-14 11:14:06

I think a cut is just trimming an existing style, whereas a restyle is changing the style completely, which takes more time and effort. If you don't like your hair as it is, it may be worth paying a bit more for a good restyle. And a good cut will save you money in the long run as it will 'grow out' well. My lovely hairdresser knows it's a hassle for me to get my hair cut with a toddler in tow. Back in October he gave me a very well-cut short bob, which has grown into a long bib that still looks great.

Drquin Wed 12-Feb-14 11:30:16

Ask your hairdresser what the difference is between a cut and a restyle - particularly if cost is a factor. Cut will usually be the same but shorter, restyle something different.

Photos are great ideas - either of real people, slebs, whatever. But, ask the hairdresser how to style it like that too - e.g. With a different type brush, drying it in sections rather than blasting it, what styling products would work?

But do be specific - no "just a wee trim"! You need to say you want it to sit at chin / shoulder length or take two inches / one centimetre off it etc. Do you like feathery / wispy bits, or a more solid / blunt look?
Although a lot of it is personal opinion, try to be factual if you go back, or next time ..... "I don't like it" or "it's not really me" doesn't give a lot to go on! But also ask the hairdresser for advice - what suits a thicker-haired blonde with slim face won't necessarily be the right look for a wispy, roundy, brunette!

Maverick66 Wed 12-Feb-14 12:32:48

I think go to a new hairdresser. Someone that will see you through "fresh eyes" I agree with OP's a good cut is key. If your hair is cut to suit your hairline face shape and hair texture everything else will fall into place. IMO it is vital to bring photos it helps hairdresser to get a better understanding of what you want. Also not all hairdressers who can cut hair well are good at colouring and it maybe you need a consultation with the salon's colourist.

stupidhair Thu 13-Feb-14 09:23:57

Thanks everyone. Your advice is helpful and much appreciated.

Elliptic5 Thu 13-Feb-14 09:35:25

I got a recommendation from someone on mn and I've been thrilled with them, cheaper too. So it might be worth asking here smile.

Lavenderhoney Thu 13-Feb-14 10:35:59

Change your hairdresser is the only option I think.

Tony and guy are trained very well, ask for a top senior stylist which you pay a bit more for but its worth it. Drop in your nearest of call first and ask for a consultation with them then book if you like the sound of what they suggest.

The other option is to ask someone with well cut hair where they get it done.

If you get it done properly its worth the extra money, otherwise there is no point really. You can always drop to a junior stylist at t&g for trims, after.

MyRealNamesBernard Thu 13-Feb-14 11:21:14

Thanks for starting this thread, OP. I have the same problem. I cannot remember the last time I walked out of a hairdressers feeling satisfied.

I had a hairdresser about five years ago who was totally amazing and she very inconsiderately moved away. Since then I have been to literally every hairdressers in town, and surrounding towns, and have yet to find someone with the same level of understanding. They are great hairdressers, just don't really listen. They seem hellbent on giving me a bloody "Rachel", FFS. I don't ask for a Rachel, but I always seem to automatically get one. The last bloke who did my hair even said to me, after he'd finished, "oh, it looks like A Rachel'. I was mortified! But, like you OP, I pretended all was fine, paid a small fortune, and walked away.

I am always too embarrassed to take pictures in with me, but clearly this is the only way forward.

Sorry, no help from me, but just wanted to empathise and thank you for a helpful thread!

stupidhair Thu 13-Feb-14 14:37:03

You're welcome. Actually, i do remember having a really good haircut when I was in my parents' home town visiting and my hair desperately needed a cut. I went to my mum's hairdresser and she cut it really well, but she moved abroad. Goes to show it is possible though.

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