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what to wear to funeral?

(20 Posts)
biscuitfreak Mon 03-Feb-14 08:51:56

Should I wear all black? Or is it too much. Is it better to wear maybe a white top and a black cardigan?

Floisme Mon 03-Feb-14 09:16:53

I don't think all black is necessary unless the family have requested it. I normally just wear a dark colour: grey, navy, dark brown etc. I really wouldn't worry about it - nobody is going to be looking at you.

Whitecat Mon 03-Feb-14 09:18:03

Why don't you ask what they want you to wear? I was digging out my black garb for a funeral recently and then found out that they would prefer people to wear bright colours. More of a life affirming celebration than a glum goodbye.

burnishedsilver Mon 03-Feb-14 09:38:08

Generally, something low key and sombre but not necessarily black is appropriate. Even the family don't always wear black anymore. I'd err on the side of caution with black, white, grey or navy. Head to toe black might be OTT.

Check with family if possible

Bitter memory of turning up to a family funeral in black to find everyone else in bold colours. Thanks for that mil!

RonaldMcDonald Mon 03-Feb-14 10:01:35

I'd dress conservatively unless instructed otherwise.
Don't bother the grieving family with questions about what to wear.....

frankietwospots Mon 03-Feb-14 11:18:08

Agree with Ronald - don't be bothering them with questions about dress code at such a difficult time.

At the last funeral I went to, I wore this dress - https://www.google.co.uk/search?q=holly+willoughby+oasis+leopard+dress&espv=210&es_sm=93&tbm=isch&imgil=PQbJ_-RFj3yewM%253A%253Bhttps%253A%252F%252Fencrypted-tbn1.gstatic.com%252Fimages%253Fq%253Dtbn%253AANd9GcRYGPfGvyXp00SxVDdUqIaEYshZc1rNbF79M0cv0uqkPZ__f_PCFw%253B504%253B1008%253B7HMwxx_r4gkgVM%253Bhttp%25253A%25252F%25252Fsheworeitsheworeit.blogspot.com%25252F2012%25252F09%25252Fholly-willoughbys-oasis-red-black.html&source=iu&usg=__TB_mD2G1BxYOs4SEVfuVkqFping%3D&sa=X&ei=w3rvUtenBoOjhgfz9YGYCA&ved=0CDIQ9QEwAQ&biw=1280&bih=685#facrc=_&imgdii=_&imgrc=PQbJ_-RFj3yewM%253A%3B7HMwxx_r4gkgVM%3Bhttp%253A%252F%252F4.bp.blogspot.com%252F-lQ7af7Qw_FE%252FUGB8hRkhZ-I%252FAAAAAAAAEOg%252FjIIKhP-TXZs%252Fs1600%252Fsw750.png%3Bhttp%253A%252F%252Fsheworeitsheworeit.blogspot.com%252F2012%252F09%252Fholly-willoughbys-oasis-red-black.html%3B504%3B1008 - with a blazer, black opaques and black ankle boots. I felt smart but not overly sombre.

frankietwospots Mon 03-Feb-14 11:18:50

Oops, sorry for the massive link!

meditrina Mon 03-Feb-14 11:23:01

A 'no black' request is usually clearly stated.

If that didn't happen, then black is the most suitable colour for an adult (and as most people have it in their wardrobe, it's an easy choice too).

But at doesn't rule out a white shirt with black trousers/skirt and jacket/cardigan, subdued patterns on black, or the traditional half-mourning colours (white detail, grey, lavender shades of purple) or the newer one, darkish navy.

If you have nothing meeting any of those descriptions, then anything non-eyecatching would be OK.

flowery Mon 03-Feb-14 11:26:37

White top with black cardigan and black trousers/skirt would be fine. I would stick to black or mainly black unless there was a request from the family otherwise though.

I went to a funeral before Christmas and don't own anything black as it doesn't suit me. I bought a black dress and it was definitely the right decision even though I looked hideous

ShatnersBassoon Mon 03-Feb-14 11:29:11

I've been to two funerals in the past month, neither stated any particular dress code. At both, everyone wore muted shades, but not all black. Nothing boldly patterned or very bright, but some colour is perfectly normal.

BackforGood Mon 03-Feb-14 11:30:27

As everyone said - anything smart and sombre is acceptable.
Nothing wrong with all black.
Black skirt/trousers with a white blouse is fine too as long as you don't get mistaken for the waitress
As are greys and darker purples or navy.
If you have smart and black already, then that's probably the default choice I'd go with, but if you don't, just go with the guidelines.

flowery Mon 03-Feb-14 11:31:43

It must depend on the funeral, what the family is like and probably what the deceased would have preferred.

The funeral I went to, I definitely would not have felt comfortable in anything other than mainly black.

kelper Mon 03-Feb-14 11:33:03

I went to a funeral of a friend and she had requested everyone wear something pink.
However I also went to a child's funeral recently, and I wore dark grey trousers, boots, a cream top and black cardigan.
I think unless it's specified, like my friend did, muted colours are fine.

Pigsmummy Mon 03-Feb-14 11:38:40

Check the death announcement online, if it doesn't say wear bright colours/pink etc then I would wear black. Black jumper and trousers or a skirt, with black shoes. I once wore a black and white coat over black outfit as the deceased really liked the coat and I felt very conscious of coat and wouldn't do it again.

What ever you wear just make sure that don't stand out in any way.

josephinebornapart Mon 03-Feb-14 13:06:43

I think unless it's a high profile funeral most people are very relaxed about clothes.

I was at one recently and wore a dark teal dress with black boots and a black coat. Other people wore grey, navy, aubergine, and some black.

My mum has stated specifically that she wants her funeral to be a celebration not a mourning and wants everyone in any colour they like- the brighter the better.

janmoomoo Mon 03-Feb-14 17:23:35

Smart and muted. Not necessarily all black but not showy.

tooearlytobeup Mon 03-Feb-14 21:35:11

Perhaps its down to area, but every funeral I have ever been to, black or very muted has been expected, and I think wearing anything else would have made the wearer feel very awkward.

I recently had to visit a wake with my young dd after not attending the funeral, and even then dressed us both neatly and in dark colours, as I would have felt very awkward walking in wearing anything else.

biscuitfreak Tue 04-Feb-14 11:04:04

Thanks all.I needed to speak to my friend anyway and asked if there these was any preference. She said on dress code. I expect I'll wear all black and and a grey cardigan. I had planned black trousers and jumper with a black and white coat but I was worried about what pigsmummy said.

Any tips on makeup? I'll probably cry a lot, but I want to wear makeup. I will probably wear liquid eyeliner and on mascara (Have naturally dark eyelashes anyway).

tooearlytobeup Tue 04-Feb-14 20:42:41

Just make sure the mascara is waterproof, and take make up and a mirror in your bag so you can touch up later

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