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Shop, shop shop! Enough already!

(41 Posts)
escargot Wed 29-Jan-14 10:39:00

Since I've been here I've spent a fortune on the 'next best thing'!

It has left me feeling inadequate, a bit of a sheep and frankly vain and self-obsessed. My life hasn't been the same since I was HoC'd.

My remedy is to have February off. No more shopping for me, no more winterness and no more bloody lipsticks.

I do have a couple of days of January left though.....grin

Anyone else hitting the brakes for February beauty/style-wise or are all the new must-have Spring things making you itch?

Bonsoir Fri 31-Jan-14 08:52:03

Shopping is a creative outlet. It's very accessible these days, but the downside is that it easily empties your bank account and overfills your wardrobe/home.

If you want to stop shopping, you need to find some other way(s) of fulfilling your need to express your creativity.

Eliza22 Fri 31-Jan-14 07:39:13

Courmarin thanks for expressing that sentiment. I'm exactly the same. I think is easy to be drawn in the "the counters" as I'm ageing (all at once, it seems) and it's so tempting. I really believe that this or that shade of lippy/blush will be the Grail I'm looking for. It never is. It does not exist.

EndOfThePier Fri 31-Jan-14 07:17:59

Wow escargot - are you me?! Reading this thread is like reading about myself. Turning 50 and fighting this compulsion to spend money on things I don't actually need in pursuit of something elusive/unnecessary that isn't me anyway. I'm not quite sure when I started being defined so completely by my clothes and I don't like this "crutch/obsession" in my life.
That said, I do like having a bit of money to spend on clothes for the first time in my life and I have taken on board all the points up thread re wise/investment buying. Same old adage of less and better for me with a healthy sprinkle of real life in between smile.

Coumarin Fri 31-Jan-14 00:24:12

See you in March with all the extra £££ you've saved. smile

escargot Thu 30-Jan-14 21:23:21

I've decided to take a little break - it seems right for me to step back a bit - see you in march x

Coumarin Thu 30-Jan-14 20:53:47

Thank you Saurus Yes it was an anxiety and control thing.

That does make sense. Not sure I've bought things just in case but I know someone who does that. She has a really secure very well paid job too.

Saurus72 Thu 30-Jan-14 17:22:28

Coumarin sorry to hear you've had such a bad time if it. I've been through bad times in the past, and I do get tremendous feelings of anxiety, which is heightened by the fact that I'm such a control freak.

I've always liked clothes, but I can pinpoint the time that my buying too much became an issue. It was about 15 years ago, and I started to gain quite a lot of weight (started going out with someone and we drank a lot and ate out a lot - all quite decadent). I suddenly encountered clothes not fitting that well, and in fact was on the verge of being a size 16, which in my mind then equalled 'Evans'. So I clearly remember having the feeling if, if it is from a 'normal' shop, and it fits, I'd better buy it because god knows if I will be able to find anything to fit me again. I mean, that's kind if mad! My weight has stabilised, and I never actually did have to buy anything from Evans, and in fact there were enough clothes left in the world to still fit me. But I remember the almost panic buying if it, and I know it still affects me today.

I also have a much vaguer feeling of 'what if I lose my job in the future and can't afford to buy clothes any more?' I better buy this now just in case. When if course if I lost my job I would a) have sufficient clothes to keep me going for around 3-5 years, b) I would most likely get a new job at some point and c) if that didn't happen, and I was indeed jobless fir 3-5 years, clothes would have fallen low in my priority list.

I'm not going to pretend it makes sense confused wink

Coumarin Thu 30-Jan-14 17:10:06

You could still browse Escargot <enabler> wink

Window shopping and dreaming about what you'll buy if often the best bit. smile

(Thank you)

escargot Thu 30-Jan-14 17:02:14

Sorry for your loss kerstina and coumarin.

escargot Thu 30-Jan-14 17:01:34

Don't apologise, these are all very valid reasons. I may choose to step away from these type of forums as well as not shopping in February

Coumarin Thu 30-Jan-14 16:45:05

*becoming not vexing.

Coumarin Thu 30-Jan-14 16:44:03

Very sorry about your Dad Kerstina

Yes, when I miscarried after our fifth ivf attempt I suddenly became convinced my skin was awful and bought all kinds if things to try and correct it. I spent £££ on stuff that I'd use once and then decide it wasn't good enough and so on. Truth is my skin looked how it always did, just fine. But I guess worrying about that was easier than worrying about something I couldn't fix.

I do love make up and clothes and it's a brilliant way of taking your mind off things but if it gets to where it's vexing a stressful thing in itself then I think a step back is wise.

Again, apologies for getting so deep. wink

FrugalFashionista Thu 30-Jan-14 16:23:24

I'm also looking for light relief, usually because I'm bored/tired/stressed out. Excessive purchases are a byproduct of the process. Winter is a bad time as you are stuck indoors.

escargot Thu 30-Jan-14 16:18:53

coumarin and kerstina I totally agree. My hounding of beauty forums is because I'm bored and I think if only I looked 'just so' then I'd be ok.

In truth, I'm about to be 50 and am totally obsessing over having the right hair/skincare/make-up and wardrobe in place. That's totally nuts though as it evolves over time and rightly so. I just NEED to have it all in place and then I will stop in theory.

kerstina Thu 30-Jan-14 16:12:55

Coumarin I think you were spot on actually. I lost my dad just before xmas and my online shopping has got a bit excessive lately. I realise it is a form of escapism and addiction. I had decided no more and then a day later I was sucked in by the concealer recommend on here that I just had to have. I wouldn't mind if I was rich I would not beat myself up over it but I am not so really need to stop. Excellent idea about pint interest am off to add to mine. smile

Coumarin Thu 30-Jan-14 16:02:24

Sorry if that was a bit deep. smile

Pinterest is a great way of getting a shopping fix without parting with any cash. I've got an amazing wardrobe on there! (And a gorgeous house, perfect meals and fantastic holidays. grin )

Coumarin Thu 30-Jan-14 15:58:43

Escargot it can be a nice shallow escape from more serious problems sometimes. Browsing make up, musing over which shade of pink you like the best or pottering around a make up counter where everything is beautifully packaged, glossy and perfect looking. It's a harmless distraction.

I think the problem starts, with me, when my anxieties about serious stuff get projected onto the little things so I can get overly invested in finding the perfect cleanser. As if that'll make everything ok again. If that makes sense? It's not a conscious thing but I do become aware if it sometimes and that's when I back off the beauty forums and shopping sites and do something else.

escargot Thu 30-Jan-14 15:32:15

Sounds like a good idea frugal smile

FrugalFashionista Thu 30-Jan-14 15:23:01

The point of the beauty and fashion industry is to make you feel inadequate and to make you feel that just buy purchasing a few things everything will change.

I knowingly know this but still get sucked in.

Someone earlier suggested getting offline, taking a walk, reading a book or getting immersed in a box set of DVDs or something. It does help wink

escargot Thu 30-Jan-14 15:15:18

I feel the same at times coumarin Mostly I feel inadequate and needy and after that I feel vain and self-obsessed.

Maybe a break from all this is required - surely my main goal of finding a lipstick that suits me is a tad fluffy in the grand scheme of things!

Trouble is I become obsessed by it, spend a lot of time and money and still feel inadequate because I'm sure there's a better one out there angry sad

Coumarin Thu 30-Jan-14 15:09:05

Sorry. I know that wasn't the point of the thread but it was following on from your 'sheep' comment.

Spending wise I have managed to stop buying the latest must have the past couple of months. The babyliss shite hair cured me of that.

Coumarin Thu 30-Jan-14 15:07:31

I didn't know I had so many things 'wrong' with me until S&B! I'm only half joking.

I know it's my own issue and I shouldn't compare myself to others but if someone puts up a pic of their skin saying how bad it is or whatever, I can't help looking at my own and wondering if I should be more concerned with mine if that is what constitutes 'bad'.

I do find S&B really helpful though and enjoy it 95% of the time. Just wish people would stop saying how awful they look. wink

escargot Thu 30-Jan-14 10:48:35

frugal I feel like a sheep too at times, I didn't know I 'needed' so much stuff sad In truth, I don't!

escargot Thu 30-Jan-14 10:47:33

Thanks for sharing your shopping experiences, I'm understanding my habits a lot more as a result!

I had the bare bones of a wardrobe at the beginning of Autumn and bought a few good things (I call £100 a 'very good' thing) and was really happy but as Winter went on and I got colder I bought two very cheap cardies from EWM plus a crew neck jumper because I had nothing to wear indoors to stay cosy. They were all £15 each in the sales, lambswool and a bit itchy but they are nicer than hoodies for indoors.

I also bought three 'fine' knits from CC so now my wardrobe is fuller but they are not items I LOVE, which makes me a bit cross.

I like Hopefully and saurus's method of 'not much but planned and good quality'

I would rather have a cashmere sweater in 'my' colours that fits perfectly than these misshapen woolly mammoths but the cat ends up sitting on me most evenings anyway and they're disposable grin

So, now you can see how I go from 'wardrobe that I love and fits me' to 'making do, it's cold, the cat sheds all over me'...

bunnymother Thu 30-Jan-14 09:53:27

I'm like many of you - Pin what I like, buy it in the Jan and June sales, plus the odd impulse bargain, then take it slow.

I do buy more than I need, but love my clothes, and make fewer mistakes than I used to. I am a ruthless returner, which helps. Although, arguably, wiser, slower shopping should result in minimal returns blush. I do pad my online orders for free delivery, which is probably stupid as it means I am not valuing the time it takes to return the excess item/s.

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