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Garlic's flat arse

(70 Posts)
garlicbutter Sat 02-Nov-13 15:39:16

My arse has fallen down overnight! I swear it was bum-shaped yesterday. Today it's merged into my thighs. Most alarming grin

I'm no fan of 'programmes', as some of you will know, and am too ill to do proper exercise (long-term, not flu.) But I can do a set of back-kicks once or twice a day. And start a thread, so I feel obliged to keep it going!

Everything else went south years ago. My backside is was all I have left.

Loopyloulu Sun 03-Nov-13 16:51:14

You can do squats with your back against the wall. And you don't need to go so low to get results.

FWIW my DH was diagnosed with post viral fatigue and has been quite ill for 2-3 years but the thing that has made him recover is exercise- forcing himself to do short runs, weights at the gym and cycling. He swears that exercise helped him recover.

garlicbutter Sun 03-Nov-13 17:22:25

Great for your DH, Loopy! Of course, I've never even tried 'graded exercise' because I love being disabled hmm

Loopyloulu Sun 03-Nov-13 17:38:55

No need to be sarcastic Garlic. It was said in good faith and with the advice of his consultant neurologist. If you have tried it and it doesn't work for you fair enough. no need to be bitchy.

Lazysuzanne Sun 03-Nov-13 17:59:17

I wonder if 'yin' style yoga would be any good to you Garlic?
If you're not familiar then it's basically a smaller range of asana's but held for 3 minutes or more at a time, plenty of stuff on youtube.

In case it's of any interest this is one of my fave yoga channels:

she has quite a variety of stuff on there some of which my suit your purposeswink

Lazysuzanne Sun 03-Nov-13 18:00:00

here's the clickable link!

garlicbutter Sun 03-Nov-13 18:08:07

Sorry, Loopy, one does get fed up with having this 'treatment' pushed at one, especially by government advisers and even though it's been proved a fallacy. I meant it when I said good for DH!

Thanks for that link, suzanne ... I now have so many exercise videos to watch, I can get out of actually doing them for - ooh, ages wink

<slaps own wrist>

Lazysuzanne Sun 03-Nov-13 18:14:48

I'm sure you can get some benefits just watching yoga video's, always makes me feel relaxed, it think it must make your aura fittergrin

garlicbutter Sun 03-Nov-13 18:17:41


Loopyloulu Sun 03-Nov-13 19:11:20

It was nothing to do with the government's advice- it was a consultant neurologist with an interest in ME/Fibromyalgia/ PVFS.
He advised moderate exercise but not excessive and has had patients improve on it. It helped DH and I thought I'd pass in on. Obviously no idea of your health issues other than what you have said here, or what you have already tired. But hope you get better anyway.

VeryStressedMum Sun 03-Nov-13 19:20:24

My arse is flatter than my stomach. I find putting on a long fitting top is much less tiring than doing squats.

gaggiagirl Sun 03-Nov-13 19:31:03

Gaggia no arse checking in! My bony bottom is none existent and it hurts to sit on a non sqidgy surface.
I shall join you and post a pic of my level back surface tomorrow.

ouryve Sun 03-Nov-13 20:28:49

I did a course of hydrotherapy, which, along with physio exercises (mostly simple pelvic tilts and squeezes) helped me to stabilise my lower back, which had been giving me a lot of problems of the not being able to put my socks on or sit on the toilet first thing variety. Various things happened, Winter became rather cold, and I never did get around to organising aquafit for myself when I finished, though. (I have been good and kept up the pelvis exercises.

And yes, I'm not allowed to do anything high impact, but I've been encouraged to keep on walking as much as possible. It helps with my mobility and I'm really feeling it, after half term, as it's almost impossible to take DS2 anywhere without having to scrape him off the floor every 2 minutes, lately. He's also hypermobile, so the necessary hand holding isn't good for either of us!

BoffinMum Sun 03-Nov-13 22:51:20

My arse is quite reasonable all things considered, but I'm in because I am trying to lose four stone despite having a variety of physical complaints, and it sounds like my kinda thread.

FergusSingsTheBlues Mon 04-Nov-13 07:47:54

I'm starting with Callanetics today, planning to alternate it with yogalates tomorrow...have decided to throw in some facial exercises while I'm at it!

Anybody else starting Operation Arselift today?

gaggiagirl Mon 04-Nov-13 16:51:23

starting operation arse lift today!
I have added a picture of my lack of backage to my profile.
Anyone else up for a before and after?

FergusSingsTheBlues Mon 04-Nov-13 16:54:32

Yay gaggs! I first of all need to persuade dh to do the honours.....but yes, will upload!

gaggiagirl Mon 04-Nov-13 17:22:15

Hurray fergus we will be shaking our ample buttocks in no time!.

garlicbutter Tue 05-Nov-13 03:21:43

Oh, dear, my thread's doing better than I am blush Welcome, Boff, and hello to your shapely arse as well! That is a tiny bum, Gaggia, you weren't kidding - and congrats to you & Fergus for taking your buttocks in hand (oo-er) so promptly!

Today I simply couldn't face looking at my rear view, never mind taking a picture of it or Doing Something About It. Let's just say my bum was depressed, and we hope for livelier service tomorrow. Callan's arriving in the morning, anyway, so I'll have to at least give her a go (after fast-forwarding through her irritatingly smoooooth vocal intro.)

Ouryve, is it really stupid to ask whether you can do lower body exercise while lying on the bed, or sitting in an armchair? I was thinking about the horribleness of marching around outdoors, with painful joints, in the cold & wet. I'm all for finding more comfortable ways to do the necessary.

FergusSingsTheBlues Tue 05-Nov-13 07:14:10

Sadly, my arse is wide and flat. It's like a pillow....a thin squidgy one that's had the stuffing knocked out of it.

It failed the pencil test. It's feeling a bit sorry for itself....I wonder if we can be perky by Christmas? What do you think?

ithaka Tue 05-Nov-13 07:24:19

I wonder whether a Wii fit would be good for you? It is indoors, gentle exercise, graded for all ages & abilities.

I sometimes do the wii fit yoga and although it isn't 'proper' yoga, the tablet thingy is good for keeping you straight & measuring the time you spend in a pose. It may also be a bit more fun & motivating than just sitting aboot doing kicks on your lonesome.

notyummy Tue 05-Nov-13 10:24:15

Is it just me, or would 'Garlic's Flat Arse' make a good name for an indie rock band ?

Keep going all. Callan can work wonders (if you do am exactly as she says. It is all about technique, control and getting the movement correct.

gaggiagirl Tue 05-Nov-13 12:47:23

I'm going to look into callanetics it sounds do-able.

FergusSingsTheBlues Tue 05-Nov-13 16:41:10

I've done 25 leg raises....I want to pass the pencil test by Christmas....(v unlikely)

garlicbutter Tue 05-Nov-13 17:59:16

Heh, notyummy! Here's "Sad Sack" by Garlic's Flat Arse wink
I don't see a future for this band, tbh ...

garlicbutter Tue 05-Nov-13 18:06:00

I really don't know what happened there! Can't face uploading my backside in all its shapeless glory again. This'll have to do. Ithaka, I would LOVE a wii fit, but have no money for games kit.

Callan is late (am pretending to be disappointed) so I've just done ten of those donkey kicks each side and am ... working up slowly. I walked an extra half-mile today, too, though I did offset it by stopping for a latte and a beer. Callan would be shocked.

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