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Sorting Myself Out

(120 Posts)
hedwig06 Tue 29-Oct-13 08:59:20

I am fed up sad

I have 3 wardrobes full of clothes but feel like crap. I keep buying more and more stuff and nothing seems to hang or sit right on me.
I have been on dressipi and have dressipi set up on my ebay account also. I have done an online colour analyzer so I could try to buy the right colours.
But I still feel crap and uncomfortable.

I think its come to a head because I have been invited to a Halloween/40th birthday party on Saturday, I never go out I have been out twice in about 10 years. Its fancy dress ....

I have spent the last month looking for something to wear and have found nothing, I hastily bought this

Its going to look crap I know I feel an idiot and I haven't even tried it on, it will be a sack hanging off me.

I try to look after myself, I use anti wrinkle cream, I do my nails, I keep my eyebrows in trim, its the rest of me that looks like crap.

Dressipi puts me in clingy clothes, which I wouldn't wear in a million years, every bloody pair of jeans/jeggings I own and I own loads as I keep buying them to find a decent pair shows my bum or keeps rolling/sliding down, so I hoiking them up all the time.

Can you stylish people give me some tips on feeling better about yourself and dressing well - I would most appreciate it.

BranchingOut Mon 04-Nov-13 18:25:13

I know that I might get booed for this, but have you looked at Boden?

HavingAnOffDAy Mon 04-Nov-13 13:57:30

Good for you grin

I really like them both.

I spent ages browsing for dresses on ASOS over the weekend. I've found 4 or 5 that I love. Now to find the money to pay for them grin

peasypeeler Mon 04-Nov-13 11:36:31

Well done you! You don't need any comments, have a little faith in your own judgment - as long as they make you feel good then that's perfect.

Glad you tried them on, the changing room isn't that scary is it? x

hedwig06 Mon 04-Nov-13 10:31:29

Sthing I don't think I do want comments please. I really like them so that's what matters ... I think.

The second was a mint velvet black stripe jumper. I can't link as I'm on my phone.

Thanks again xx

SthingMustBeScaringThemAway Mon 04-Nov-13 09:13:46

It's good that you've ventured into a changing room! How did you find it?

Your second link doesn't seem to be working. Do you want comments on the first dress?

hedwig06 Mon 04-Nov-13 07:12:29

Well I stuck to my plans, sort of ...

I only tried on the 2 items I bought once, but did walk away and then Sunday we went into Sutton's John Lewis, and I bought, after trying on for a second time:




What do you think?

HavingAnOffDAy Fri 01-Nov-13 15:20:08

Thanks for the welcome smile

A few years ago I had some lovely jersey tea dresses, deep v neck & knee length, from warehouse that I wore to death with tights or leggings & shoes or boots.

I find lately that it's hard to find dresses with a good neckline & not too long.

I've admired phase eight ones linked to on the S&B boards but I always find them an inch or two too long.

I bought a gorgeous cashmere jumper in TK Maxx a couple of weeks ago. It's a really pale grey & looks nice with skinny jeans & a scarf.

I want to get back to being complemented on my outfits rather than choosing things to hide myself!

feelingood Fri 01-Nov-13 14:08:09

Hello again hedwig - id second the thing about the holding one outfit and wear it out a few places when you confident with new looks and waht suits add more like the tweed jackets.

I recommeded mint velvet (though I know some dont like the muted tones) phase eight and I would also add supprt for joules - I have just bought a full length English Tweed coat from their and I love it but I've been back into the whole clothes thing for 6 months now.

Once you get a few compliments re an outfit your confidence will come flooding back - dont forget for strong looks you may need to adapt your make-up - if you wear it make sure you go with make up and hair done when you shop it makes a difference to how you see the whole you.

There are two nice (wearable lengths 57/59cm) tween skirts on phase eight in sale one ise charcol/black so easy to match up and not to out there but is £59 (i think)

Boots have a points event on 14th from midday til late spend £50 and get £12 point back - I going to overhaul my make - up bag to go with new clothes.

hedwig06 Fri 01-Nov-13 10:02:05

Having Glad you joined smile

I was having a really off day when I wrote my OP. I am just the same, people are always saying I should wear clothes that show off my curves, but I really can't see it.

I think I look a bit rotund if I do.

We seem to be the same height, ish and size.

Maybe we can swop ideas?

From this thread, I have realised I don't need to buy something when I go out, I can window shop, take my time, make sure I really want an item and make sure it fits properly too, so I'm going to try and make sure I go back at least twice and try the item on before I buy.

The one good thing I have done is make my Pinterest board, so I can see what I like, most of it I wouldn't wear in a million years, nor have the opportunity to wear, but it has given me ideas on colours and styles I seem to pin over and over again.

Good luck xxx

HavingAnOffDAy Fri 01-Nov-13 09:41:47

Love the pics BTW OP - you do look fab

HavingAnOffDAy Fri 01-Nov-13 09:38:33

Shamelessly joining this thread to mark it & read later.

I came on here this morning to post about the same thing.

I'm 5'4, size 14 (16 in some shops) and HATE the way I dress sad

I have wardrobes full of clothes but only seem to wear the same 4 or 5 outfits (at a push - it's probably more like 3).

I WANT to buy clothes that I look good & feel good in but can never seem to find them. I veer towards hiding my curves, rather than showing them, which I think probably makes me look (and therefore feel) worse.

At the moment I'm looking for an outfit for going to a couple of gigs. I love the Topshop dress linked to towards the top of the thread but I don't know if I'd be brave enough to wear it. And I can't find it in stock in any stores local to me.

HelloBoys Thu 31-Oct-13 09:42:18

oh I forgot - H&M right now are doing some nice blouse type things - romantic and with frills etc - where I am (Wimbledon) they seem to have them at the front of the store (near doors). try on, as very reasonable price wise.

HelloBoys Thu 31-Oct-13 09:38:17

OP - with Jigsaw and Toast the tweedy jackets - I'd hold off for now until you're more confident as they got their jackets from Ebay or in sales.

I think you need to invest a bit. Maybe take your eldest DD (teenager) with you OR DH too? Don't know if your eldest teen interested in clothes for you rather than her though!

Seriously, like others have said once you get a few nice bits your confidence will come flying back.

SthingMustBeScaringThemAway Thu 31-Oct-13 08:29:59

I can't wait to go and try on some things with DH,

Is this the same person? thlshockthlgrin You are going to have so much fun - eventually. Take your time. There's no need to rush; most shops have months and months of sales. (Toast in particular. Their clothes are usually enormous so try lots of sizes.)

It's great that you're feeling enthusiastic and filling up your Pinterest board. But the most important thing is to remember that you don't have to look like anyone else - and there is no need to try to do so. I'm sure you'll find a fantastic style all of your own.

hedwig06 Thu 31-Oct-13 07:33:30

peasey Thanks for all your help, I can't wait to go and try on some things with DH, I just hope I can actually force myself to pay the prices smile I've had a quick look for a shirt, but not found one yet that stands out.

impty Thank you my Sally, my dog is part of our family, she follows me everywhere, even though shes getting on a bit.

Hello Thank for all your advice I have a list pinned onto my fridge with all the retailers you and others mention, I have added, Jigsaw, Joules and Toast to it.

peasypeeler Wed 30-Oct-13 16:17:37

Saw a good look yesterday - tight grey jeans and boots, fitted grey tweedy-type blazer left open and a shirt underneath that had a 'tail' like a man's shirts which flapped beautifully over her plumptious backside. She wasn't very tall and she was very curvy but she looked absolutely fab because the look made her go in and out in all the right places!

HelloBoys Wed 30-Oct-13 15:52:51

oh and re your lush wine jeans - WEAR THEM OUT! please.

even if just food shopping with kids... but preferably to meet friend for lunch at Bullring in Birmingham! smile

sod it if people are looking at you if anything it'll be with envy in a nice way!

HelloBoys Wed 30-Oct-13 15:51:41

Hedwig - you seem to have a similar body shape to me. which is hourglass and 28FF (you read right) boobs.

I bought a terrific dress a while back (spring) from Warehouse - black but with deep v and shorter - similar to the one you're wearing.

I do like the boots. very nice. not sure if you'd get much wear with the colour but they look a good basic.

You do have a good shape though. You also have nice hair and seem to look good in white blouses/shirt things - which I do not look good in!

Have a look for tweedy sort of jackets from Jigsaw/Joules/Toast - you can ebay for these, some curvier friends of mine wear these very well with the sort of white blouse and jeans combo you are wearing in one pic also those nice boots would work well too.

impty Wed 30-Oct-13 15:46:31

I love the dress. You have the perfect shape for v neck hour glass fitted dresses, which of course you can dress up or down.

Chuck the cardie, you look like your trying to cover your fabulous boobs. Don't! Agree with all the advice above re tops, shirts (try Lauren by Ralph Lauren, house of Fraser or outlets) blazers etc.

Do you feel self conscious being smart? I think its easy to, especially if you are at home. However, as you get older smarter does equate to looking more put together, I think.

Your dog looks very beautiful!

peasypeeler Wed 30-Oct-13 15:32:48

My 2c ... The first pic is all a bit bosomy - didn't realise that was a cardi - it would look better undone - I'm just the same as I, too am blessed with a bosom (34E) and I hate feeling bosomy so I avoid smocks and tightly done up cardis and shirts at ALL costs. I always wear a cardi open instead of done up and I wear shirts undone over tees or cami's like a blazer in Summer.

Some shirts with a bit of stretch I wear with 'tit-tape' - it's like doube-sided sellotape.

John Lewis have a fabulous V-neck cashmere sweater selection in plain colours - not the stripes. It's their 'collection' range and is £69 I bought it in cobalt and purple and it looks amazing with jeans.

One major thing - with the sweater I tried on a 12 but looked better in a 10 (ridiculous considering my bosom but you have to see which fits best. You (one, not YOU you) don't 'know' what size you are in anything unless you try it on.

You look good in jeans, I would also encourage you to buy skirts/dresses ON the knee or an inch below. It's more flattering.

You have a fabulous shape! You just need to learn to work with it smile

I'm genuinely excited for you Hedwig you're getting great advice and I can relate to all of it. I'm emerging from feeling like a sack of shite myself and have waited until now (49) to address it so I can really relate x

hedwig06 Wed 30-Oct-13 15:28:37

Thanks Fuckitthatlldo

I'll have another mooch on Pinterest tonight, I am writing a list of the "key" items I want to have a look for when I go window shopping with DH, I want to try some things on and walk away without buying, just so I know I can do it - sounds silly but I have this idea that I need to buy something, anything.

So far ....

Jeans - 1 pair, dark blue
Soft v neck sweater, maybe grey?
Shirt - plain
Nice scarf - cream?
Boots, not sure what style yet
T-shirt bra, I have some lovely bra's but no plain ones.
Decent flat shoes, not New Look ones!!

Also maybe a cord skirt, I've seen one on another thread that's nice from Boden, but I'm not buying online for the moment, so have a look for a similar one.

Fuckitthatlldo Wed 30-Oct-13 15:16:02

Blazers can be dressed up or down, no problem. Worn with a t-shirt, skinny jeans, a scarf and flats, they really can look very casual, but stylish too.

Fuckitthatlldo Wed 30-Oct-13 15:13:17

Ah sorry, cross posts. Ok, so you're not comfortable with your upper arms, tummy or bum. That's ok.

I would choose sweaters, layering t-shirts and blazers that sit at the hip rather than the waist. Always more flattering as far as the rear view is concerned.

I'm not comfortable with my upper arms either. That's easy - I just make sure stuff has sleeves! Experiment with elbow length and three quarter lenth sleeves though. Depending on where they end compared to the rest of your body, they can work well.

You need to buy decently fitted shirts. This may mean spending a little more. You can try places like GAP and Hobbs, and Reiss. The point is that they need to be cut with a nip in the waist. You can also try the 'front tuck' with shirts ie you tuck in the front and leave the rest free. This can create a relaxed but slightly more defined shape.

You know what bra size you are - that's great! And you like your boobs. Ok, so buy yourself some beautiful flattering underwear that makes you feel and look fabulous. Some t-shirt style bras are always necessary, without any lace or bows or obvious seams, as these can be worn under fitted clothes and t-shirts with stretch in the material while still retaining a very streamlined shape.

hedwig06 Wed 30-Oct-13 15:12:01

I don't have a blazer, I always thought I would look like I was dressing up if I wore one, crazy I know.

I like the idea of a v-neck sweater, although I thought it would be better if they are long line to cover the bum area?

Fuckitthatlldo Wed 30-Oct-13 15:04:03

Also, perhaps we can use your top picture to highlight some things that don't work.

The skinny style of jeans looks great. No problem. It's just going to be a question of you finding a fit you're happy with. Again, Levi Curve jeans cut for shape as well as size and I've had a lot of joy with them.

The tops you are wearing don't flatter your lovely shape. Firstly the cardigan doesn't fit and so it is straining over the top half of your body. Wearing anything that's too small and has to be pulled and stretched to fit will always make you look and feel bigger than you are. Also with just the top buttons done up, what's happening is that the rest of the fabric is pulling back towards your waist. This creates a kind of triangle which exposes an area you're not happy with and makes it look, again, bigger.

A fitted (not skin tight) sweater with a deep v-neck would streamline your figure and look lovely with the jeans. If you have a cardigan and want to do it up, make sure it fits well enough that you can do it up comfortably over your entire body. Then you have the option of only doing up one or two buttons, but doing them up over the tummy, rather than the chest area.

Do you have any blazers? A well cut blazer nipped in slightly at the waist would look fabulous and you could wear it with jeans, skirts, and dresses.

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