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Sorting Myself Out

(120 Posts)
hedwig06 Tue 29-Oct-13 08:59:20

I am fed up sad

I have 3 wardrobes full of clothes but feel like crap. I keep buying more and more stuff and nothing seems to hang or sit right on me.
I have been on dressipi and have dressipi set up on my ebay account also. I have done an online colour analyzer so I could try to buy the right colours.
But I still feel crap and uncomfortable.

I think its come to a head because I have been invited to a Halloween/40th birthday party on Saturday, I never go out I have been out twice in about 10 years. Its fancy dress ....

I have spent the last month looking for something to wear and have found nothing, I hastily bought this

Its going to look crap I know I feel an idiot and I haven't even tried it on, it will be a sack hanging off me.

I try to look after myself, I use anti wrinkle cream, I do my nails, I keep my eyebrows in trim, its the rest of me that looks like crap.

Dressipi puts me in clingy clothes, which I wouldn't wear in a million years, every bloody pair of jeans/jeggings I own and I own loads as I keep buying them to find a decent pair shows my bum or keeps rolling/sliding down, so I hoiking them up all the time.

Can you stylish people give me some tips on feeling better about yourself and dressing well - I would most appreciate it.

I'm a 12, Hedwig, and sometimes a ten. I wouldn't wear most of the things in Topshop, but there are occasionally some good things - jeans and tube skirts for example.

hedwig06 Tue 29-Oct-13 19:45:31

Sthing Ouch, I don't think I am dismissing things purely on size, although it may come across as this.

Its more the thought that some things definitely look better on model sizes and some have been designed for this.
I thought that the blogs I have seen where tailored for the size of the person running the blog, as obviously she is the one wearing the item and has spent time trying on and deciding whether to include the outfit/picture on her blog. It stand to reason that the same outfit, item of clothing won't sit the same on someone like me who needs to make sure the top covers up the hammock sized bra, and the mum tum.

Which as people have pointed out is what I'm essentially doing buying online and buying without trying on, as although the item I'm buying is available in a size 14, it doesn't necessarily mean it suits ME.

SthingMustBeScaringThemAway Tue 29-Oct-13 19:46:24

X post...

their not there....

Remus No-one likes The Mailbox but actually I think their Harvey Nichols is cute. So tiny it doesn't need half a day to browse. And the point is to jolt the OP out of thinking that what she's been looking at is all there is...

OP I should stop hassling you but if you insist on rejecting stuff you're not going to get to where you want to be.

I strongly suspect that - without knowing it - you have a very individual style; which is not catered for by the impossibly lowest common denominator sources that you "think" are appropriate for you.

Stop thinking. Just go. Try.

hedwig06 Tue 29-Oct-13 19:47:39

Remus I've also noticed the sizing is different in Oasis, Wallis and Topshop, I seem to be a size 16, or large in these shops whereas in Dorothy Perkins, Asda, etc, I'm a 14 - this shouldn't matter, but for some reason it does to me.

hedwig06 Tue 29-Oct-13 19:49:38

Sthing X-post again!!! I know what you are saying I'm shopping safe, and narrow minded, and I'm not happy, what can happen if I step out of the box, so to speak. Nothing bad I'm sure.

You've given me loads to think about - thank you xx

Yes, Harvey Nic's is nice enough, but I personally just think that telling Hedwig to wander around looking at super duper expensive designer stuff and terrifying shoes isn't actually going to help her much right now.

If somebody is already low on confidence, they don't need to be trying to squeeze themselves into the latest Victoria Beckham triumph, yours for only £800, or whatever. They need to be seeing how things in 'normal' places can work for them.

I agree that going and trying lots of things on is the only thing to do, but don't think HN is the place to do it, tbh.

peasypeeler Tue 29-Oct-13 19:59:43

Hedwig I think if you're anything like me - you know what you don't like but aren't confident in what you do like. Make sense?

I have a very vivid idea in my head about what I should look like and nothing persuades me to veer from that path so I stick to what I feel comfortable in. Trouble is, it keeps me dressing 'safe' and conservatively when I keep thinking I maybe should look a bit more sassy. However - being sassy doesn't suit the vulnerability side of my personality so I'm ok with that.

Are you outdoorsy? Frilly, romantic, dramatic, love vivid and asymmetrical stuff? Would you like to see yourself in a long line as in a teeshirt, trousers and a long-line cardi that skims your hips? Do you want to downplay your bosom? Accentuate a part you like? Do you like boxy styles? Formal or casual?

No need to tell us, just keep asking yourself questions about what you do and don't like.


hattymattie Tue 29-Oct-13 20:02:31

Just came on to say - not very good at fashion advice but I think the Dorothy Perkins dress is gorgeous - and thanks to you I've discovered that they send to France.

SthingMustBeScaringThemAway Tue 29-Oct-13 20:17:19

Oh good! What you've said peasy leads very nicely into my probably slow and clumsy reply to Remus.

It's a good point - that HN might be scary. I am mindful of problems with a lack of confidence - my only concern is to point the OP in the direction of a far wider range of clothing ideas than she might have come across so far. Particularly because she hinted above that she really doesn't want to be trapped in dressing to suit other peoples' expectations.

So - would it be wrong to suggest that the OP tries "browsing" in The Barber Institute? Less scary? No measurements. No prices. And almost certainly a more diverse selection of ways to be.

Art galleries are actually a great place to look for style inspiration - brilliant idea! smile

HelloBoys Tue 29-Oct-13 22:18:21

Remus - I think you and Hedwig should meet up for a shopping trip! eek

Whistles can be gorgeous but sales are a good idea, the dept store where I work is constantly reducing items.

I DO know what you mean Hedwig re sizing. Can you look past it for now?

I think I will try and look at a few blogging sites for you.

HelloBoys Tue 29-Oct-13 22:21:23

Hedwig - I put 14 hourglass blogs into google and got few results only bloody Mac I forget how to link properly... will do it properly at work tomorrow! grin

HelloBoys Tue 29-Oct-13 22:22:01

oh I think it was

HelloBoys Tue 29-Oct-13 22:22:26

they may be American (unsure there) but had nice ideas from what I could see

But then Hedwig would see that I know nothing at all about style!

HelloBoys Tue 29-Oct-13 22:24:21

oh oh! great ideas there in those blogs.

and I just remembered - asos curve.

they have some LOVELY items. seriously. not too dear either.

HelloBoys Tue 29-Oct-13 22:25:08

Remus - you have advised me for style - I am reincarnated!


BelaLug0si Tue 29-Oct-13 22:31:52

I've found that wearing a slip under dresses which are fitted or even drapy, helps them to skim rather than cling, especially if you're wearing tights.
The JL one here has been really useful.

Good luck on your quest.

Boys - advice on here, when I can link to lovely pics of lovely people is one thing: trying to advise somebody who can see me in all my scruffy Minnie Mouse crossed with a mad old goth inspired chaos is quite another!

feelingood Tue 29-Oct-13 22:51:10

Hi OP same age as you but a bit bigger and slightly taller same shape.

I have stopped buying mid range and the cheaper clothes stuff. I discovered mint velvet is great for my hourglass figure. I buy their silk front to short/long sleeves. Jeans I struggle with but I just belt, then accessorise from there. I have several dresses from there which I love, the bubble hems and swing dresses are great for me.

hedwig06 Wed 30-Oct-13 08:10:44

Hello Thanks for the links to the blogs I spent until 10.30pm last night looking at some here are the ones I have bookmarked:

Bela Thank you I never thought of a slip, I will be investing in one I think, I spent last night as I said looking for blogs and also looking at some of the clothes retailers that GeorginaWorsley recommended on page 2, I pinned some amazing dresses to my pintrest from Phase Eight.

Feeling Some of the Phase Eight dresses I looked at last night are beautiful, I do think Jeans are a pain to shop for, I must have at least 30 pairs, honestly!! I don't think one pair fit me properly or are comfortable.

Thanks again everyone, I'm having a sort out today, and then going out tonight when DH gets home to sort my Halloween costume, the one I linked to in my OP is being sent back.


peasypeeler Wed 30-Oct-13 08:33:43

Enjoy your sort out! Even if you're left with ten things it's better than three wardrobes of 'stuff' that you don't feel good in.

Good luck!

impty Wed 30-Oct-13 08:56:12

Get yourself to Selfridges! Head to the top floor... soak in all the designer clothes, look at what the mannequins, and other shoppers are wearing. Go down two floors wheres its Oasis, topshop etc again look and see what you like.

Save some money and gead to that top floor and Harvey Nicks and go in the sales... you'll be surprised what you can get in there!

I think everyone has bits of themselves, they dislike etc and its quite easy to lose your confidence, but you can get it back.

My big tip is to buy less, but buy better quality. A top from higher end high street will often hang better than something from New Look. The fabric will be better quality and skim across your body better etc etc. So think Reiss, Hobbs, Karen Millen. It can seem expensive but better to buy something you love and which looks great that you wear to death than sonething you wear once and shove to the back of your wardrobe. I set some money aside each month for clothes, and I do often have to save for something I really like. But that gives me time to consider whether it really is great!

hedwig06 Wed 30-Oct-13 09:29:07

peasey Thank you x

impty I agree that I due impulse buy, to try to find stuff that feels good, maybe the saving for an item will learn me to slow down and only buy things I really want and actually fit properly and hang nice xx

peasypeeler Wed 30-Oct-13 09:40:47

Great advice from impty I should follow it. No more grabbing 5 teeshirts, let's grab one 'top' that works with a blazer/cardi/whatever.

Are you up for that hedwig? Shall we make that our goal for November?

No more 'stuff' for stuffs sake!! grin

How's the sort out going? Do you need tea and toast yet?

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