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Dh says I look frumpy others say classy and we'll put together. Help.

(178 Posts)
lupo Fri 11-Oct-13 08:23:23

Just after an opinion. I like the way I dress, have a nice capsule wardrobe , am a reg lurker here. I am not a jeans and converse type of girl , which dh seems to prefer.

For example, last week I wore the grey Janice phase eight dress, tights, knee high brown boots and tan leather jacket. Dh said it was frumpy and I would be better in jeans. I like casual day dresses, have another phase eight Elsie dress , still on web, which I thought was flattering and with a cardigan and pointed heels. At work I wear ted baker jumpers, pencil skirts, jumper dresses etc. last year I saved up and bought the lovely navy wool Hobbs kasia pea coat and can't wait to wear it

Women at work will often say I look nice, my colour palette is navy, grey, black, deep purple sometimes. I have no intention of changing my wardrobe but just wondered if it did sound frumpy. As I said, lots of compliments from other women, just not from dh. What do you think. I am 38, size 10 to 12.


angelinajelly Fri 11-Oct-13 09:00:33

Not wild about the boots, lupo, I have to say. Have you considered biker-style boots? I think they look really good with jeans and smarter top halves (maybe a fitted jacket on top?) and just toughen the whole look up and bring it right up to date without "scruffing down".

closetcat Fri 11-Oct-13 09:00:55

Thanks for that little gem sunday I just dropped my toast in shock grin

lupo Fri 11-Oct-13 09:01:22

Lol Sunday,

snowlie Fri 11-Oct-13 09:01:56

I would not describe the Elsie dress with point heels as a casual day look I think your dh has a point, it's the sort of style that suits a more formal environment, for casual it's overkill, sorry!

lupo Fri 11-Oct-13 09:02:59

Well it is Friday I guess. Any other opinions on the grey ankle mercy boots, I love them.

lupo Fri 11-Oct-13 09:04:01

Mercy boots by Jones. Sorry cannot do links

lupo Fri 11-Oct-13 09:05:14

Snow, Elsie dress was for evening restaurant. Would only wear with flat boots and leather biker in the day

SundaySimmons Fri 11-Oct-13 09:05:51

Let's face it, you can't win whatever you wear.

You sound to me perfectly ok and if you started wearing converse or more casual clothes then you would be accused of trying to look like a teenager. If you wear something shorter, tighter, low cut then you will be accused of looking tarty!

If you are happy, not causing any offence to anyone then be happy in what you are wearing.

The only man I would heed clothing advice from in a relationship is from the wonderful Andre Leon Talley and that will be unlikely as he is gay!

closetcat Fri 11-Oct-13 09:07:09

Just checked out the dresses you mentioned - your style is very similar to mine, I have a hard time dressing casually because I always like to look neat. Both dresses are a bit office-y and smart but I'd be wearing them anyway as they look really smart and put-together. I'm 50 though - nuff said smile

pictish Fri 11-Oct-13 09:08:10

Mercy by Jones

Once again my apologies...but those boots are mum boots to me. Sensible and uninspiring.

lupo Fri 11-Oct-13 09:10:20

Would only wear the Elsie dress with heels in eve otherwise with flat books and leather biker for day. Honestly, only wear dresses when going out, otherwise cord,jeans with smart coat and nice jumper. Maybe should look to make it more edgy with brown bikers. But I am quite petite with small size 4 feet and sometimes biker boots look a bit too chunky for me. Will have a look around

lupo Fri 11-Oct-13 09:11:57

Thanks Pictish for the link,

WhoKnowsWhereTheBonnetsGo Fri 11-Oct-13 09:12:14

I can see both points of view here, I prefer the jeans/converse look both on myself and other people, but can see that people dressed in dresses, boots etc also look good. To me yours are the sort of clothes I would wear for work, and then change out of into jeans when I got home. Maybe you are just making hime feel scruffy.

SundaySimmons Fri 11-Oct-13 09:12:33

Oh I've just remembered, many years ago I had a long purple suede coat with a huge black faux fur collar. Original 1970s piece and I loved it. My then boyfriend said I looked like a dirty hippy in it and he purposely allowed his mothers miniature Yorkshire terriers who stank to high heaven, to sleep in my coat so that my coat picked up their smell and I gave the coat to a charity shop, such was my then boyfriend's hatred of the coat!

We split up and many years later I was informed that I had been the one and he always regretted splitting up with me.

Strangely enough I wouldn't care what had happened or him, but I do lament the loss of my wonderful purple coat!

Moral of the story, men are fickle idiots. Wear what you want to wear.

snowlie Fri 11-Oct-13 09:13:12

Fair enough! My dh goes the whole hog for work, he has to...tailored suit, cuff links, collar stiffeners etc and at the weekends he dresses like a complete scruff....because he can and it's liberating. If I dress up for an evening out, he always feels bad that he hasn't made an effort and feel almost compelled...I wonder if your dh feels the same way?

pictish Fri 11-Oct-13 09:13:24

I wear dresses at the weekend - I would wear that Elsie dress for a walk in the woods, with flat boots and big scarf. I often wear a fitted or ruched dress for casual purposes, and rough it up with accessories.

I don't think jeans are the be all and end all - I prefer dresses too. Comfier and more stylish.

closetcat Fri 11-Oct-13 09:13:43

I think you'd hate biker boots. I hate clumpy shoes, I have size 4.5 feet and they look ridiculous on me - mainly because I like neat and tidy, not clumpy/blokey.

pictish Fri 11-Oct-13 09:15:11

You see - I totally love clumpy boots, and find neat little pointy shoes send me catatonic with boredom.

It is ALL a matter of taste!

closetcat Fri 11-Oct-13 09:17:05

I'm waiting for kitten heel court shoes to make a comeback and refuse to buy non-pointy shoes/boots until then pictish grin

NoComet Fri 11-Oct-13 09:19:40

DH always says I look nice in my scruffs, yoga trousers, leggings etc.

It's only so he can hug my arse.

Lifeisontheup Fri 11-Oct-13 09:21:10

Totally off topic OP, but where did you buy your tan leather jacket? I'm looking for one and can't find one.

SundaySimmons Fri 11-Oct-13 09:23:13

In a recent survey, 100% of all men questioned, preferred their wife/girlfriend to wear

Nothing! wink

Bonsoir Fri 11-Oct-13 09:26:09

Men generally like women to wear clothes that are a bit brighter and tighter than the sort of clothes the OP is describing...

coldwinter Fri 11-Oct-13 09:27:34

My DP tends to say I look lovely wearing anything tight. DP is particularly keen on the M&S purple thermals I bought!

Gingersstuff Fri 11-Oct-13 09:27:58

It's entirely up to you what you wear, but I can also understand a partner wanting you to make the best of yourself (I'm always trying to do this with DH who dresses from the 80s but is a very attractive bloke who could look amazing). I agree that your DH could have worded it better though!!
You're 5 years younger and a lot slimmer than me but I'm afraid your wardrobe would send me screaming for the hills. Navy, black, grey....I wear grey for work but always teamed with something contrasting...chartreuse green, turquoise, shocking pink. Being a redhead I very rarely wear black (though have just ordered a beautiful black corset to wear with jeans and biker boots or heels for going out with DH) and I wouldn't touch anything navy with a bargepole, it just says middle-aged sensible mumsy to me. I'm sure it's very nice, but also very very dull. BUT that is my opinion only.
If you're conscious that you're looking/feeling a bit mumsy then why don't you accessorise a bit more...bright scarf, big colourful jewellery, a bright bag?
The grey Mercy boots. Personally I think they are boring but it's not me that's going to be wearing them. If you're happy with them, go for it!

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