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Dithering about Botox. Cancelled twice. Help me make my mind up!!

85 replies

Smugsmuggler · 10/10/2013 17:06

Right, so at 39 my 11s are starting to be quite evident. Not deep but present when my face is relaxed. And I'd like to age "naturally" (i.e. never look like I have had anything done), but much more slowly than I am doing. Some of it that I have finally lot weight, sorted out my skin, got my colours done, and I would just like to look my absolute best now...

So I keep booking Botox, and I keep chickening out..

  1. Will I look obviously Botoxed?
  2. Will it feel funny when I try and frown?
  3. Am I starting too early?
  4. Is it worth the money?
  5. Is it morally and ethically defensible?
  6. Will my husband notice?


I have asked few of these questions on here a few years ago when it was just a distant pipe dream, but I'm going round in circles now....
OP posts:
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hellymelly · 10/10/2013 17:10

I am ten years older than you, and I have opted not to have it. I want to keep my full range of expression, I think it is really sad somehow to lose that, like losing half your speech. If there was something that truly would soften my 111s (or maybe 111111s) without any loss of facial movement then maybe I would go for it, but I just don't like the look of botox. It also makes the rest of the face look more knackered somehow!

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feelinlucky · 10/10/2013 17:12

No one will notice you've had Botox, you'll just look and feel better that the lines are less defined. They probably won't disappear entirely. You won't feel any different really. It practically painless and the effect us fabulous. You won't see any difference for a few days. You'll love it and never look back. Go for it girlfriend :)

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hellymelly · 10/10/2013 17:13

So my answers in order would be.
1.Yes.
2. I have no idea, but it will look funny.
3.Umm..?
4.No. I think a great hair cut makes more of a difference in looking good.

  1. Interesting. No. (imho)
  2. Probably, but possibly not, is he an observant chap?
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noddyholder · 10/10/2013 17:13

I am 47 and first had it at 44. I have it very 7 or 8 months and I can still move my face No one has ever notice i have it even v close friends I only have forehead done and half the usual amount. My dp knows so he obviously notices but I told my family one xmas I had had it and they didn't believe me.I like that I can be make up free with it

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feelinlucky · 10/10/2013 17:14

You definitely don't lose movement with just your elevensies. I can still move mine and I don't look remotely frozen. Just elevensies leaves your forehead with most of your movement and expression.

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noddyholder · 10/10/2013 17:14

No hair cut face cream etc can make such a difference although they can make a difference

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bishboschone · 10/10/2013 17:17

I think it's hideous , I'm the same age as you and quite happy with my face . It isn't perfect but who's is ? Everyone on tv has funny stretched foreheads and they still look old but stretched .. I think the ones that look young just have great genes to be honest ,also there is the whole injecting poison into your face dilemma ?

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noddyholder · 10/10/2013 17:19

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

noddyholder · 11/10/2013 09:03

Thanks MN that pic had my name on it!

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SundaySimmons · 11/10/2013 09:15

I had it and have stopped. My ex at the time started commenting on my looking smug all the time.

It also felt a bit odd. I will not have it again.

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McLoven · 11/10/2013 09:29

Botox is great but I think the key to success is choosing a really well trained & experienced injector, and when you have your initial consultation you should stress to him / her that you want a natural look. The frozen look is totally avoidable.

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noddyholder · 11/10/2013 09:33

I agree when I first had it I had the full vial and since have had half. I also went to a doctor not a beautician He is a surgeon and very experienced. I must admit after a year and a half you can reduce the am§ount and frequency

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cardamomginger · 11/10/2013 10:13

I have had Botox since I turned 40 and wish i had done it years ago. I have always had very visible frown lines, right from when I was a teenager, and I felt very self-conscious about it. I get my frown lines, 11s and 'laughter' lines done. It get it done 2-3 times a year by a consultant dermatologist. I wouldn't go to someone who wasn't a dermatologist.

To answer your questions:

  1. If it is done well, no. My doctor aims to make it look as natural as possible.
  2. The first time I had it done, when it was kicking in over the first few days, it did feel peculiar - especially raising my eyebrows. I'd try to do it and it felt like I'd been at the gym too long and just couldn't lift the weights any more because my muscles were just SO tired. IYSWIM! Didn't notice anything with 11s. Once it kicked in it didn't feel odd at all, and now when I have it again, I don't notice anything.
  3. No.
  4. Obviously it depends on whether you have the cash to spare. I do and I think it is. Objectively I look better. I look more rested and just fresher.
  5. Yes.
  6. Who knows!!
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Flo56 · 11/10/2013 10:28

I think you're starting a battle you are never going to win. Botox might work for the small stuff that no-one but you really notices anyway. But once the years seriously kick in, it's pretty useless because (in my experience anyway) wrinkles are the least of your worries - it's the sagging face and jawline that's the real bummer.

But you can't get it all fixed and, personally, I would rather make the best of who I am now than chase after the girl who's never going to come back. I say spend your money on a dress that will give you such a great shape that no-one will give a toss about your number 11s. It's also a lot more fun than a face full of needles!

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noddyholder · 11/10/2013 12:04

I do agree with that fio When I first had it I went with a friend as support for her not to have it myself. I am very lucky as genetically all the women in my family look young but my forehead is lined from not wearing my glasses and squinting. The doctor spotted this and said it only really works for dynamic lines and is no good for sun damage and general ageing which is what my friend had! I ended up having it and she didn't! He said my forehead didn't match the rest of my face and I think he was right. I definitely wouldn't have it once the rest of my face really sags as could look daft!

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Lazysuzanne · 11/10/2013 12:21

If you don't like the effects just stop having it, it'll wear off and it'll be as if you've never had it.

I think most people who have it like the results.

If you base your conclusions on those who have obvious botox then you are bound to be biased against it!

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Rules · 11/10/2013 12:29

Im ten years plus older than you and have been doing face exercises. We work the muscles in our body when we want to tone up, these exercises are working the face muscles, the ones that they pull up when you have a face lift. Not sure why more people don't do it to be honest. I eat a diet high in fats and oils which is great for keeping your skin plumped up. Don't diet. I have gone blonder especially around the face as this throws natural light on your face and makes any shadows disappear visually. I don't use much in the way of face creams or potions. Just coconut butter.
I would not want to do botox because I can notice when people have had it done and it looks weird in my opinion.

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Lazysuzanne · 11/10/2013 12:41

If anything stronger face muscles will result in deeper active lines.

I don't think the body toning/face toning analogy really works

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cardamomginger · 11/10/2013 12:46

To people who say that they can always spot Botox and that it looks awful: how do you know that you can identify EVERYONE? Perhaps you can just spot the ones who have had a bad/extreme Botox job done and you fail to notice the ones who have had it done in a better way.

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Lazysuzanne · 11/10/2013 12:52

Exactly Carda!

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Rules · 11/10/2013 12:53

Lazy the results of exercising your face results in a more youthful face. The lines don't appear deeper, just the opposite.
card I don't know about everyone who has had botox, but the ones I do know about, I notice.

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ZZZenagain · 11/10/2013 12:54

I really wouldn't risk it. Can look so unnatural and really not attractive at all.

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impty · 11/10/2013 12:57

I'm the same age as you, and also considering getting my 11's done. I think I do often spot people who are botoxed, some are more obvious than others. Some times just a smile not quite reaching the eyes gives it away.

I recently spotted someone with a very smooth forehead, and few crows feet but the bottom half of her face was jowly and older looking. She looked plain odd!

So I'm dithering too but I worry that once I start I'll have to go further and further. The lady I mentioned above needed some kind of jaw lift to match up her face iyswim.

No help am I?

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Lazysuzanne · 11/10/2013 13:01

I give up!

I think most of the naysaying is rooted in a moral objection to vanity.

I have no regrets about botox, I look younger and more relaxed, I have no problem with vanity.

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SundaySimmons · 11/10/2013 13:02

If you have Botox and look in the mirror you will think it looks natural because you can only see yourself from certain angles.

You can see who has Botox because when you look at someone talking and going about their daily business you can see that parts of their face are animated and others are not!

It can look on some people, a little odd but on others it can be subtle but there is still a differnce.

My ex said I looked smug. He couldn't put his finger on it exactly how why, just that he could notice something about my face. when I looked at myself in the mirror I couldn't see what he was seeing because it is impossible to behave naturally in front of a mirror and view yourself from all angles.

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