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Made an appt to get my grey hair dyed - now I'm having a wobble...

(45 Posts)
Quenelle Mon 22-Jul-13 11:39:30

I've had a grey streak in my dark brown hair for 20 years but the grey is spreading over my head now and I don't like it.

I've always resisted dyeing it before because I like the main colour of my hair and once you start how do you stop but my grey hair is not a nice look. My hair is almost shoulder length and frizzy and I can't/don't have time to spend time blowdrying or straightening so I usually scrunch it and leave it to dry naturally with curl creme, unfortunately this just makes the grey streak look like a scruffy piece of rope.

I am ageing in a scruffy and unkempt way, rather than gracefully and elegantly, and I need to do something about my looks to give my confidence a boost.

So anyway, I've made an appointment for a cut and colour on Saturday but now I'm having a wobble about the colour bit. I don't like the idea of an unnatural-looking colour and I hate the idea of roots showing after a few weeks. Will it be a huge mistake? Should I just get a good cut? I want an elegant, easy to look after, feminine style but don't think I could style it properly.

Please does anyone out there have a solution for me?

Quenelle Mon 29-Jul-13 15:03:13

Well I had my hair cut into a short bob that is longer at the front. I actually managed to blowdry it myself and it didn't take too long. I had loads of compliments yesterday.

Ironically the new style seems to accentuate the grey streak but I'm OK with it at the moment. I do feel more groomed and elegant.

So for now I'm happy to remain au naturel. Thanks everyone for your views and advice.

soupmaker Wed 24-Jul-13 23:01:59

Lots of good advice about products and getting a really good haircut which suits you're hair and face.

You may well find that once you get it cut that the grey suits you.

I have a grey/silver graduated curly bob. The underside is still my original very dark brown.

There is no doubt that the trick to carrying it off is a really good cut and conditioning my hair. I also don't blow dry just let it curl naturally.

I also get my eyebrows shaped and darkened to the original colour of my hair which really helps too. Otherwise I have no eyebrows!

Grey hair only ages IMHO if not maintained and looked after.

happyreindeer Wed 24-Jul-13 21:47:16

Sorry but I went completely grey and it was a m nice colour but made me look and feel old and others were treating me as if I was older too. It is now bright blonde and I love it.

Eastpoint Wed 24-Jul-13 21:38:18

I second therealfellatio's tip of having a keratin/Brazilian treatment on dyed hair. It has made my naturally wavy hair far easier to manage, I've been using a translucent dye for the last 7 or so years as my hair has becoming whiter. I don't want to embrace the white yet, it is only about 25% white but as the texture is different it would really show. Go for colour.

cece Tue 23-Jul-13 23:20:18

Tutorials on youtube.

I manage it OK and I am terrible at hairstyling normally.

Quenelle Tue 23-Jul-13 07:10:37

Is a babyliss big hair easy to use cece? I guess there will be some videos on youtube.

cece Mon 22-Jul-13 23:23:49

I am 46 and stopped dying my hair 3 years ago, Mine too is shoulder length and frizzy.

Get the products right - for curls I use sea salt spray and leave to dry naturally with some random scrunching.

I would also recommend a good cut and a Babyliss Big Hair for smooth blow dried look done with minimum of effort.

I love that I am now off the treadmill of hair dyeing and like my greyness. People often seem surprised when I tell them my age so I assume that means I look younger...

Clary Mon 22-Jul-13 23:22:35

I dye my hair and have for a couple of years sad

I was about the last of my mates (my age (late 40s) or younger) to colour my hair - so many people do!

My natural colour is very dark brown which is all I want really - the greys were just so numerous, I hated it.

Trouble is the previously dyed bits go orange after a while, even if dyed dark brown (grrr)

I'm still doing it tho! Am trying to find a deal/offer atm before I go on hols, and a friend has just told me to use L'Oreal casting in dark brown, £7 a lot cheaper than £40 at a salon!!!

ShoeWhore Mon 22-Jul-13 23:15:17

OP I had many of the same concerns as you but my hairdresser mixes up a semi permanent which is v v close to my natural colour and it is great When I first had it done I didn't tell anyone and people kept telling me how well I looked. I def look better.

Sorry practicality and secret, I don't agree at all about if you go grey you are not too young for grey hair. I started to go grey in my teens, looked really haggard in my 20's hence starting the colour dying. I am now in my late 40's - dyed blonde and am often told that I look 10 years younger. I am positive that some (if not most) of that is flattery but not all of it comes from men. Somehow the blonde is quite soft whereas my grey was very harsh against the almost black natural hair colour. Each to their own smile

secretscwirrels Mon 22-Jul-13 17:29:23

practicality good point. I base much of it on my SIL who was fully grey in her 30s and never dyed it. She looked a bit like the hippy woman in Top of the Lake. Now she is in her 60s she looks wonderful.

practicality Mon 22-Jul-13 17:15:31

TheRealFellatio- I bet you are neither fat or jowly grin

One route might be to buy some roux. It is a paint on coverer that washes out and doesn't stain the grey. It is suppose to be good up to a couple of inches in length. Some people transition with lowlights so the line of demarcation isn't so obvious. These will redden though but it may help if you want to transition. Others bite the bullet and go cold turkey using scarfs etc until they have a couple of inches and then they pixie it off. Others just grow it out having layers cut in so the grey appears a bit sooner as the canopy grows down.

Having white around your face is like the perfect blonde for skin tones who have never suited blonde and could never lift the hair enough to platinum.

Secretscwirrels- I think this idea that grey is ageing comes from nearly everyone dyeing their hair until they are truely old. The point is if your hair has gone grey you are not too young for grey hair!

Quenelle Mon 22-Jul-13 16:43:27

Dickie Davis! shock

I found a couple of styles that I think will be quite easy to maintain. It will mean embracing the grey but I'll see how I get on.

secretscwirrels Mon 22-Jul-13 16:25:06

I do think grey hair can be very ageing though?
Perhaps try a temporary colour to begin with? Ironically I have stopped colouring mine after a lifetime of blonde highlights in my dark blonde hair. The grey is evenly spread at the moment giving it quite a light natural tone. I do realise this is only temporary and when the grey dominates I will have to decide. I'm 55.

TheRealFellatio Mon 22-Jul-13 16:18:34

If it's the texture and the upkeep you don't like then I'd suggest you get either a Keratin Brazilian blowdry done, or you start investing in a decent salon blow dry once a week - they last about three or four days. It might sound expensive but believe me, it's not as expensive as the monthly need to keep having your roots/highlights done. I am desperately trying to find a solution to endless root touch ups and fading permanent colour, and anything I can think of that involves more colour is hugely expensive and labour intensive. I have been in Italy this summer where I have seen so many really elegant grey or white haired women that I'm wishing I'd never started dying mine at all. It's a vicious cycle I can see no end to. I am abut 50% white now, certainly all across the front, and I have no idea whether I would like it or not, but I'd love to find out, if only it didn't involve two years of looking bloody awful while I grow my colour out!

I do think that to look good grey or white you have to have an elegant, simple, classy cut (a bob is perfect) and spend a bit of time of the blow drying, to avoid the brillo pad effect.

I am so fed up with mine I am tempted to just shave it all off and start again. grin I would, if only my face were not so fat and jowly. hmm

alwaysinamuckingfuddle Mon 22-Jul-13 16:08:49

Dye it.

I had a big grey streak in my hair too. I went to the hairdressers after someone called me Dickie Davies! For a year or so, I had highlights at the hairdressers. I then started doing it myself with a temporary colour and now I dye it with a Nice 'n' Easy permanent colour about every 5 weeks. It takes about half an hour and is so easy. Everyone thinks this is my natural colour.

When my temporary colour was fading and the grey was coming through I felt old and haggard. I don't care what anyone says, grey is definitely ageing!

badguider Mon 22-Jul-13 15:59:58

I have never dyed my hair (except some student experimentation) for the same reasons mentioned about maintenance and upkeep and cost.

I really think that anybody can carry off grey or partially grey hair so long as their cut and styling is right for them and their lifestyle (e.g. don't get something that looks best straightened if you can't be bothered to straighten).

I started going grey in my teens. I put up with it for about 10 years but then realised how aging it was for me. I had very very dark brown hair but pale skin. I worked with my hairdresser and have my hair coloured a mid-brown colour which we have lightened over the years. And I now have blond highlights which I love smile

I do go every 4-6 weeks but my hairdresser is mobile so it is not full salon prices. No body realises that the mid-brown colour is not natural as it is a very natural colour and suits my skin tone now in my late 40's. What is funny is that strangers sometimes think I am a natural blond just because my DC has blonde hair.

I could never go back to being grey.

LifeofPo Mon 22-Jul-13 15:47:57

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

practicality Mon 22-Jul-13 15:37:09

I will leave my pics up for a couple more hours. I will update in a couple of months if anyone is interested when more of the silver I have on top is visible (it is laying forward but I do have a fair amount on top too).

practicality Mon 22-Jul-13 15:30:24

NO worries Lifeofpo.x

I'm all for choice. I just wanted to put forward that grey is a choice too and women can look great with it especially for those who are prematurely grey and for whom it is getting more and more difficult to keep on top of it.

If you are as dissatisfied with it as I was with respect to the colour never turning out quite right and looking like you have bald spots after two weeks because the contrast is too great, it might well be worth exploring this option. Many women have no idea how fabulous their natural hair is - silvers and all.

LifeofPo Mon 22-Jul-13 15:23:05

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

practicality Mon 22-Jul-13 15:09:57

Quenelle check out 'The Highland fashionista'. She has the tones you speak about and I think she looks most excellent.

it sounds like you need to find the right product ( and they are out there ) to smooth the stragglers down.

I am aiming to grow my hair long before my fortieth birthday as I couldn't before because my hair was always trashed by the time it got to 3-4 inches.

Good luck OP x

Quenelle Mon 22-Jul-13 14:58:44

I meant to add, it's not easy this getting old business is it?

Since I turned 44 earlier this year I've been really noticing the ageing effects. I have resolved to be a little more vain and look after my appearance more.

Quenelle Mon 22-Jul-13 14:56:45

Thanks everyone for your thoughts. It is hard to go grey when the rest of the hair is so dark. I've been ok with just the stripe since I was in my early 20s but now it's starting to pepper all over my head I don't feel attractive. And the grey hairs don't curl like the rest, they just look messy and wiry.

Practicality, you really suit short hair. Sadly I don't have the features and, after being forced to have short hair as a child, I don't want to go that short again. But I do hate the idea of being stuck on a dyeing treadmill once I start.

I'm going to try a new style first and see how I feel about it. I have more time to spend on styling my hair in the mornings now that DS is old enough to take care of himself more so perhaps I can achieve a more groomed, elegant look without taking any drastic action.

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