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Come and talk to me about going grey...

(73 Posts)
NightLark Tue 02-Jul-13 10:22:08

I could do with some insight here on how this is likely to progress, as I am allergic to hair dye and haven't the money or the inclination to go to the hairdressers for complicated colouring.

My very, very dark, thick, straight, chin-length hair is going grey, fast sad.

Seriously lots of grey in every handful kind of grey.

So from a distance I look dark haired, but close up I am clearly getting greyer.

Plus, the grey hairs aren't straight like my 'real' dark hair. They are curly. What's that about??

Help, am I going to end up with a head of grey frizz?

AgathaF Wed 03-Jul-13 15:12:48

valium I was thinking more in terms of the colour suiting her skin tone.

valiumredhead Wed 03-Jul-13 15:18:48

Agatha - I still think her hair colour looks very harsh against her skin.

BobblyGussets Wed 03-Jul-13 15:52:08

I'm a red head and I won't be bothering to dye it. I am 40 now and have a few bright white hairs. I used to love the "chilli pepper" type dyes when I was younger to punk it up a bit, but I think I would look more like Rita Fairclough if I tried it now.

Whitecat Wed 03-Jul-13 18:54:59

Try oil to tame the silver unruly bits. It will probably take a little time to get the quantity right but you might just have to wash your hair more often until you find the balance. I use argan oil which is very light, buy the pure stuff not the blended silicone concoctions that are out there. Other people swear by coconut you should be able to find one that is perfect for you.

I use silicone free conditioner and don't rinse it as thoroughly as when my hair was all one dyed colour. Leave some in for shine and straightening power.

Going silver is not straight forward. It's a mind game and your main opponent is yourself. Good luck. I'm loving my streaks now and it's amazing how many people think I pay for the privilege.

MadBusLady Wed 03-Jul-13 19:10:34

Marking place. My main problem with going grey is that I also have big, wavy hair and it looks at its best when allowed to be slightly wild and tumbling. So just the opposite of the "sharp cut" that everyone seems to say you need to pull off grey hair. Am I doomed to the dye?? Have a box of Casting Creme Gloss I've been umming and arring about. I really don't like that too-dark build-up look you see on people.

I've been wondering about helping on the grey a bit by putting a bleachy streak in the front and then a silvery toner - so not a "highlight" so much as a definite silver streak. Like Caitlin Moran's only hers is more blonde. Anyone done this?

valiumredhead Wed 03-Jul-13 19:17:14

I don't have a sharp cut either, but I do have a very good cut which helps I think.

valiumredhead Wed 03-Jul-13 19:21:43

Andy Murray's mum looks fab now she's gone grey/blonde.

MadBusLady Wed 03-Jul-13 19:28:57

I'm not sure what "a very good cut" is. sad I had one hairdresser when I was 19/20 who totally got my wavy hair and worked with it rather than against it. Nobody else has since, however much money I spent. Don't get me started...

GobblersKnob Wed 03-Jul-13 20:27:09

Vallium I have been putting henna in my hair for the past few years, and I have tried blonde over henna before, (done my my hairdresser) it went an interesting blue/green grin

However the more i have thought about it today, the more I want to do it.

valiumredhead Wed 03-Jul-13 20:51:06

A good cut is one that shoes off your hair to its best. Doesn't have to be anything fancy. My hair will only do one style, anything else and it's a mad bush, was quite a relief when a hairdresser told me to stick to what out does bestgrin

valiumredhead Wed 03-Jul-13 20:51:30

Out not out-effing phoneangry

valiumredhead Wed 03-Jul-13 20:51:57


valiumredhead Wed 03-Jul-13 20:52:26

Gobblers-do it, you know you want togrin

soupmaker Wed 03-Jul-13 21:50:29

Mine is big, curly and grey MadBus. I have it cut into a graduated bob. It's long enough to tie back if I want to.

My hairdresser understands that I need a wash and go cut. I do just that, very rarely use a hair drier or straighteners and regularly condition. The result is lovely soft shiny hair. Even the wiry ones behave now!

valiumredhead Wed 03-Jul-13 22:00:24

I think the grey/ silver ones do settle down after a while and start to become softer and not as wiry.

StantonLacy Wed 03-Jul-13 22:19:49

I'm 36 and seriously grey. And probably outing myself here, too.

I found my first grey hair at 15 and have dyed it for twenty years. Twenty years, fgs- that is a ridiculous amount of time to be a slave to the dye. Not to mention the stupid expense, outrageous amount of time wasted and results that, lets face it, I only really liked for two out of eight weeks.

Because even if I went to the hairdressers, the results were never quite the way I wanted them to be. And then my roots would start showing after about two weeks. Or, if I did the dye myself it was always too dark/too light/too red and then once it had toned down to a better shade, guess what? My roots would be showing.

Last year, I had a bit of a 'moment' and decided to stop dying it. I am now almost evangelical about grey hair. I have a fairly thick white stripe on either side of my parting (pic on profile...not very clear, but you get the idea grin) and I LOVE it. I've still got a few inches left to grow out, but I am so, so glad I decided to stop dying. I only ever used a semi permanent, so don't have a particularly strong 'tideline' as such...even so, I was surprised by how much the semi colour just stayed.

The condition of my hair has massively improved. I always mistakenly thought that the dye made it shinier and improved the condition, but now I'm able to see my natural (undyed) hair, I can see that the dye has made it almost strawlike in comparision. I definitely don't see that the texture of the white hairs is different. I'm just as likely to see crazy wiry jet black hairs frizzing everywhere as I am the silvery ones.

Like lots of posters on here, I use the Elvive oil and think it's great. Once it's been blowdried and straightened, I love the look of it and look forward to an all white 'do'!
I do get it cut quite regularly into an inverted bob, but once all the colour has been cut out, I'd love to grow it long again.

I found some amazing photos on pinterest of silver haired women, but not so many of women my age, so I went on a bit of a google. I found these two blogs Highland Fashionista and How Bourgeois - both women look fantastic in my opinion. There are some great tips on both blogs about 'transistion' and pratical ways to deal with it. Going grey should be normal. Not like bloody 'Kate' and her four moves and fifteen babies...The ridiculous negative comments and connotations that people make about grey hair make my blood boil, truly. It's just a different colour, fgs.

And of the course, another unexpected bonus is that I can now use Batiste dry shampoo with impunity, as even if I miss brushing some of it out, it just looks like my natural hair colour grin

StantonLacy Wed 03-Jul-13 22:21:11

Apologies for the huge rant blush

valiumredhead Wed 03-Jul-13 22:34:52

Good for you !grin

Aquelven Wed 03-Jul-13 22:36:19

I started to go grey at 16, still at school!
By the time I got married, early twenties, was completely white/silver.
Now my hair is this colour & style exactly & I love it. Always getting asked where I get such a good bleach job. hmm

GemmaTeller Thu 04-Jul-13 09:27:59

I'm 53 and have long (bra strap) length mid to dark brown curly hair.

Home dyeing stopped covering the grey so I bit the bullet and went to the hairdressers asking about colour and transitioning to grey (I'm a bit loath to spend hundreds of £ on my hair).

How glad am I and what a fab hairdresser I've got!

She bleach washed all the dye out then put highlights and low lights in to blend the grey in.
I went back two months later to have the highlights touched up and a toner (?) put on my hair.

I can't believe how much my natural grey just blends in and how much my hair now lightens my complexion.

Plus I haven't lost any length.

AdoraBell Thu 04-Jul-13 15:43:09

My silver highlights (I do like that phrase) are much dryer than the rest of my hair, but I haven't tried any oils yet, although I did buy a bottle of Argan oil.

higgle Thu 04-Jul-13 15:53:30

Dyed hair is not ageing if you have it done by a really good colourist - it is mainly the dire reddish browns of the home dye kits that make you look older. I have lashings of high and low lights put in my hair to create a light brown / ash blonde effect. I've got quite a few grey hairs as now nearly 57 but you can't really see them.

mercury7 Thu 04-Jul-13 18:08:55

Stanton, thanks for those links, I think the Highlandfashionista woman looks great with her hair colour, looking at her pictures has made me think about letting my hair 'express' it's natural colour (I'm mid 40's with naturally medium brown hair and some grey)

Of course grey hair isn't inherently less attractive than any other hair colour, it's just that we associate it with older people.

If grey became a fashionable colour I guess the association would be broken and grey hair wouldnt be perceived as ageing.

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