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Come and talk to me about going grey...

(73 Posts)
NightLark Tue 02-Jul-13 10:22:08

I could do with some insight here on how this is likely to progress, as I am allergic to hair dye and haven't the money or the inclination to go to the hairdressers for complicated colouring.

My very, very dark, thick, straight, chin-length hair is going grey, fast sad.

Seriously lots of grey in every handful kind of grey.

So from a distance I look dark haired, but close up I am clearly getting greyer.

Plus, the grey hairs aren't straight like my 'real' dark hair. They are curly. What's that about??

Help, am I going to end up with a head of grey frizz?

valiumredhead Tue 02-Jul-13 11:56:23

I had high lights put in so the grey would blend in, that was over a year ago and mostly it's my natural colour now, I quite like the grey.

Nothing wrong with grey, I much prefer it to obviously dyed hair tbh.

shoebun Tue 02-Jul-13 12:49:43

I'm in a similar situation to you - long, thick, dark, straight hair so the grey is very obvious!

I had virtually no grey until about 12 months ago when it seemed to double in number every night. I had a few different hairdressers try to talk me into colouring it but I was very nervous that they wouldn't get the colour right and it would just end up being black and goth like, rather than the very, very dark brown which is my natural colour.

DH was great at convincing me that he thought it looked pretty, like natural highlights, and I started calling them silver rather than grey which also helped me feel more positive about it. So, over the past year I have got used to the idea and now rather like them as being part of me and the story of my life.

I have started noticing how many women dye their hair and in many instances I think this can actually be more ageing. So, maybe give yourself time to get used to the changing you? You could try wearing your hair a different way (I stopped tying mine back for a while as most of the grey was around my hairline and this made it really noticeable, to me anyway). If you let the greys grow, you may well find they stop being curly as they get longer.

NightLark Tue 02-Jul-13 12:58:29

Thank you both - I like calling it silver, I shall go with that idea smile

I've had it cut shorter, with a fringe, and stopped tying it back and up, which has helped a bit (I was looking every inch the crazy old academic lady), and live in hope that the curly bits will drop. But they are very curly, with a real crinkle in each hair, so I won't bank on that bit.

Off to try and embrace my true age...

valiumredhead Tue 02-Jul-13 13:02:23

To combat the frizz I started using hair oil, its very goodsmile

happyreindeer Tue 02-Jul-13 13:37:30

I let my hair go completley grey and it was a nice colour but I felt very old and people treated me as if I was much older. I have really blonde hair now and I only needs done at the hairdressers about every 8 weeks when before when it was a brown it really needed done every two weeks.

happyreindeer Tue 02-Jul-13 13:38:19


SnoopyLovesYou Tue 02-Jul-13 13:49:20

Henna? Totally natural.

valiumredhead Tue 02-Jul-13 13:51:17

I think henna can look really ageing <runs away fast!grin >

neriberi Tue 02-Jul-13 16:46:18

I've been going grey (on and off) for the last few years, letting my hair grow out lots then resorting to lowlights and highlights (T section only) then cursing myself as it grows out because my naturally dark brown / black hair starts to shine through so I resolve to let it go grey "this time", anyway I have actually knocked the lowlight / highlight thing on the head and now have a lot of grey.

I'm a mere 38 and have been fending off grey since my 20s / 30s, there is something rather liberating about not dying my hair, I've always looked young for my age and reckon I still look young-ish but not so much that I'm asked for id when I buy a bottle of vino.

I've changed my make-up & tinted moisturiser to sit with the Caryn Franklin styled grey streak I seem to have and I've changed the colours I wear so that I look a little less ghostlike, apart from that I like my grey!

I'm of the persuasion that after all the shite I've dealt with in my life that I'm entitled to a few laughter lines and silver streaks.

EldritchCleavage Tue 02-Jul-13 16:53:37

I'm just letting it happen. I am now developing a stripe, which is fab. Like Cruella de Ville in reverse.

Rooble Tue 02-Jul-13 16:54:13

I've had mine highlighted to manage my transition to grey, but that's because I'd been dying it brown for 15 years and didn't want to spend 18 months watching the grey increase inch by inch.
It looks really good! Can't tell you how many compliments I've had, and I think it's because your skin colour changes with your hair so the dark no longer suits. Have started wearing strong-coloured lipstick to compensate for the lack of colour

Fluffycloudland77 Tue 02-Jul-13 17:13:46

I think you've got to condition it more, I think keratase does a range for aged hair.

I think dyed hair can look a bit aging too.

Jan45 Tue 02-Jul-13 17:28:48

I think grey hair on anyone is ageing so I would recommend highlights. If you have dark hair then the grey will show up like a beacon. The amount of women I have seen who look fabulous then you see the horrible grey hair and think, why, it does nothing for you apart from age you.

Sorry I feel really strongly about this, it's personal I know but grey is a no no, no matter your age.

valiumredhead Tue 02-Jul-13 17:33:42

Nahhh,I think it's much more ageing to see a woman with dyed hair unless it's very well done and had lots of colours.

valiumredhead Tue 02-Jul-13 17:34:09

Why is grey hair 'horrible?'

Jan45 Tue 02-Jul-13 17:38:57

The only female I can think of who looks good with grey hair is Helen Mirren and even at that, it's a softer look of grey. It's a personal thing I suppose but to me, esp on a woman, grey hair actually makes you look older than what you are.

To me, it's horrible because it's usually coarser with no real shine and the colour is a mixed black and white, not nice.

Out of all the colours I could have my hair grey would never be one of them.

valiumredhead Tue 02-Jul-13 17:40:54

Caryn Franklin looks fab though.

Lauren Hunt-used to be a super model iirc looks fab.

My mum!grin

valiumredhead Tue 02-Jul-13 17:44:10

I can't do links from my phone, but if you google images of grey hair there are stunning pics of women with grey hair.

valiumredhead Tue 02-Jul-13 17:44:40

Too many 'grey hair'in that sentencehmm blush

intarsia Tue 02-Jul-13 18:06:13

I started going grey at 16 and stopped dyeing it 3 years ago (42)
It looks great BUT the most important thing is to have a great hairdresser and a really good cut.
Long grey hair rarely works due to the wirey nature of it and I suspect the greyer you go, the shorter your style will be. It doesn't have to be old lady short though. Mine is really choppy and textured

valiumredhead Tue 02-Jul-13 18:07:31

And updating your make up is a must!

Scarletohello Tue 02-Jul-13 18:41:02

All I can add is that I used to have dark brown hair but its so much easier to be blonde now because of regrowth. It's also softer on the skin town. Grey hairs are more wiry so extra conditioner is good. Is there hair dye you can try you aren't allergic to? There are lots of vegetable dyes around these days. Going grey is a pain but there is a lot you can do to still have great hair..!

soupmaker Tue 02-Jul-13 20:37:24

I'm grey. I agree a really good cut is essential to pull of grey hair.

I'm nearly 43 and have a naturally curly grey bob. I use touch of silver shampoo and conditioner. Mine has gone really grey in the last 5 years. I had a short French crop for years when I started to go grey then grew it out once it was more silver than dark.

I have lost count of the times I've been complimented on my amazing highlights! I don't think grey does age you if you look after it. I also have the advantage of having a 5 yo and being pregnant so no-one believes I'm over 40.

A poor colour job and you'll look so much older than having well looked after grey.

NightLark Tue 02-Jul-13 21:34:13

So this coarser grey stuff is par for the course?

Not chuffed. Am going to try hair oil etc.

After a lifetime of looking 10 years younger than my calendar age, I'm not ready to embrace elderly all of a sudden, but not feeling like a return to henna either (went there a lot in my 20s!).

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