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Fuck. I look like a middle aged frump.

(270 Posts)
NumTumDeDum Mon 03-Jun-13 23:50:54

Have just video'd myself discussing cheese (I'm not mental it's for a consumer feedback thing). Anyway, just played it back and to my absolute horror I look rough as a badgers arse, about 10 years older than I am, and like I had a hard life. I'm overweight, and my hair is clearly the wrong colour and style (well actually there doesn't appear to be a style unless you count crap as a style). My clothes are ill fitting and don't suit me.

I have tried to remind myself that I only had a baby 6 months ago and I'm sleep deprived but it's not working.

Just talked to DP mainly to berate him for letting me go out in public and he says he doesn't like what I'm wearing and that it ages me. I have on a pair of awful bootcut jeans from Primark that I bought after birth for the awkward transition from maternity jeans to normal clothes, and a black sort of smock top. A lot of my jeans are cheap bootcuts. I may be stuck in a 90s timewarp (I'm 34). I do have a pair of skinnies in black and dp likes those.

My budget is extremely small as we've only the one income and two DC.

Where do I start?! Help a desperate woman please!

rootypig Fri 14-Jun-13 09:19:28

I have decided I hate the cardi. Almost any lady shape will be frumped by one - with the exception of very chunky wool. They just hang from the saggy post BF breasts.

Laquila Fri 14-Jun-13 09:55:36

Still following this thread with interest - I hope my previous suggestions have been helpful to someone and am very glad to see light-coloured jersey blazers are getting some more airtime - they're the future!!

Anyway, just wanted to post links to a couple of things I've been eyeing up online recently that I think would definitely help de-frump a summer wardrobe:

Flat snake-print sandals

Seasalt jacket that I have been umming and ahhing over - practical but more stylish than most hooded jackets

Flattering cowl-neck top that I'd wear with navy crops/ankle skimmers if I worked in a more formal office than I do and didn't basically wear my pjs every day

Lovely versatile jersey dress that could be dressed up or down and layered all year round - only reason I haven't bought this is I am skint and 7 mths pregnant

Boden short-sleeved top that I think is lovely in the Silver colour, and also nice in the Guava if you have the colouring for it

shoeprincess2 Fri 14-Jun-13 19:07:06

Thanks ladies for your birthday wishes!! I have had a lovely day, though on my way to meet my friends for lunch, I ended up signing up for a free facial with Origins. To be fair, they also gave me 3 free samples of skincare products...I wore a high neck lace top, blazer and jeans. I felt ok but a bit paranoid and old looking. Hope you are all well xx

IWillDoItInAMinute Fri 14-Jun-13 19:37:00

So glad you had a lovely day shoe smile. Your outfit sounds great!!

Had a look at JL website at wide range of blazers. Saw a really nice -pricey- Jigsaw black blazer. Luckily -sadly- it was only available in s. I am not even close to being a small blush

shoeprincess2 Fri 14-Jun-13 20:29:00

IWill- have a look in H & M and TK Maxx. They should have a good range of blazers.

cloutiedumpling Fri 14-Jun-13 20:41:29

Hello ladies

I've been following this thread and decided to de lurk. You're giving me inspiration to escape the shapeless jeans and fleeces that I seem to live in when I'm not working. I don't want to spend too much at the moment as am hoping to lose weight so will look at accessories.

NumTumDeDum Tue 18-Jun-13 11:13:53

Welcome Cloutie. Fleeces were the first thing to go when I started looking at my wardrobe with a critical eye.

Been busy over the weekend gardening and diy-ing so not much time for de-frumping. I have started the process of ebaying clothes so hopefully will be able to replace my clothes with something nice.

I think I found the holy grail of peplum tops yesterday, it has a v slit neckline. This is very important as I need separation or I have a giant uniboob. Only £8.99 from new look. In my staple colour of black (baby steps, still not confident on colours). What I definitely need now is a bra fitting.

NumTumDeDum Tue 18-Jun-13 11:15:19

Re blazers, I tried on a few in New Look but on me they look boxy. Are they just not good on big busted women?

MadBusLady Tue 18-Jun-13 11:20:58

I find not, Num (am 30FF). Haven't looked good in a blazer since I was a skinny teen with no boobs.

Pepperberry can be a godsend for jackets but they don't have a lot of choice. Really wish they just did a range of basics in different colours rather than trying to "outfit" everything.

MadBusLady Tue 18-Jun-13 11:27:42

Laquila you must be my style twin!

I have those Clarks sandals, they are fantastic, I wore them most days on holiday last week except when we were hiking. Not one pinch or blister. I have an old lady bunion on one foot and the cross strap was just above it so didn't bother it at all. I have them in normal width, which surprised me, I am usually a tad over normal even without said bunion.

I've also been looking at that jacket, and those Ravello tops are one of the few things I still really like about Boden. I feel so dressed in them, without having to layer or accessorize.

NumTumDeDum Tue 18-Jun-13 12:11:49

Right, I think I've cracked a jacket for the larger busted woman - waterfall jackets. Much more flattering. Just tried on a few in New Look (not my fave shop but I only have a choice of that or M&co unless I go into town).

angeltulips Tue 18-Jun-13 13:03:09

For those who are wanting blazers, may I put in a recommendation for top shop ponte range of blazers - they are soft, don't have buttons so not boxy & generally brilliant. They bring them out in diff colours & fabrics at different points of the year - I have about 6 of them in different colours.

Marking place to join in later, 33 years old with 3 year old and 9 week old and a husband that works abroad three weeks a month. Did veet my legs this morning, first time post dc2 blush have at least two stone to lose, and a horrid flabby belly following EMCS. Am EBF so have a huge appetite which isn't helping. Already have the shred DVD still shrink wrapped so just need to get my arse in gear really....

howiwonder Wed 19-Jun-13 12:41:15

hello all,
have lost touch with all this de frumping recently as have been caught up in the horrors of packing up and moving house.
however i have booked in a hair appt for saturday and am desperate for something different, going to get a fringe for the first time in years, thought it might make me feel like a have more of a style.
well done on the ebaying num - ive just been charity shopping lots of stuff that i know would make a bit of money but i just havent the energy or time to list it all...

cloutiedumpling Wed 19-Jun-13 12:47:25

I've been going through my wardrobe and putting things in bags for charity. A lot of the things are frumpy. Someone on here said something that has really chimed with me - there's no point in identifying something as being frumpy and then putting it back in the wardrobe just in case you wear it again. Why? Just so you can look frumpy again? Great sentiment and I've tried to follow it.

hinkyhonk Wed 19-Jun-13 15:27:08

have also been off out of the defrump as been busy with moving house and general tomfoolery involving hospitals - anyway back onto the non frump this week.

need to find me some skinny jeans as i live in them when not at work. have a good pair of blue jeans and black jeans but then what else do i need? any other suggestions for non frumpy skinny jean type colours? going to try to get to primark at lunch time which might be tricky. liking the topshop blazers so will give that a go too.

will def need to get my barnet done before our actual move so that i'm not left with a pile of boxes and no hope of finding a new dresser in months and months.

hinkyhonk Wed 19-Jun-13 15:33:39

also need some advice re swimwear. due to move we aren't going away on holiday this year (and due to ds2 i won't be wearing a bikini until after the tummy tuck until after i've toned up) but i need a swimsuit to take the boys swimming. i've had a standard speedo one but its gone rather fluffy so need a new one but which one.

i think i like this one

but is it frumpy

hinkyhonk Wed 19-Jun-13 15:35:24

and if not that one - any suggestions?

i'm size 8/10 ish but a little wobbly in the stomach and small ish knockers so don't need support particularly - help!

Paribus Wed 19-Jun-13 16:58:32

I love- love- love Primark boyfriend (skinny actually, at least in me) jeans for 11 pounds. Have lots of jeans from different makes, all if them much more expensive, and these by far are my favorite now. Recommend- and totally not frumpy!!

NumTumDeDum Wed 19-Jun-13 16:58:52

Hinky that is lush! (Ok showing my age and westcountryness with use of lush there but hey it is). I love that costume! You have to get it. As far ftom frumpy as you can get imo.

Paribus Wed 19-Jun-13 17:02:44

.... ON me even...

MadBusLady Wed 19-Jun-13 17:10:36

I'm sure I've said this before a million times but I really rate Uniqlo jeans. They have gorgeous colours, are soo comfy, wash well and feel a bit more substantial than my New Look ones, which I have to be careful to wear the right knickers with. My current favourites are the khaki Ultra Stretch and am coveting the coral Skinny Fit Straight. They do a whole confusing variety of fits so any sized person can find something they looks "skinny" on them IYSWIM.

hinkyhonk Wed 19-Jun-13 21:10:11

Right uniqlo it is. Any idea what colour to go for?

MadBusLady Wed 19-Jun-13 21:22:53

I think looking at the undergrad students I see around me anything goes with coloured trousers at the moment! Whichever colour will go with a lot of your stuff and not make you feel silly. I tend towards greens and reds/pinks because those are almost neutrals for me, I wear a lot of those colours and also a lot of black/white, beige and brown. But your "almost neutral" might be a blue or a purple. I also have a pair of grey-beige Uniqlos that look a bit more restrained and go with any bright top I want to wear.

fivefoottwowitheyesofblue Wed 19-Jun-13 22:03:31

madbuslady how does uniqlo sizing come up please? Really love the trews that you linked to smile

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