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Fuck. I look like a middle aged frump.

(270 Posts)
NumTumDeDum Mon 03-Jun-13 23:50:54

Have just video'd myself discussing cheese (I'm not mental it's for a consumer feedback thing). Anyway, just played it back and to my absolute horror I look rough as a badgers arse, about 10 years older than I am, and like I had a hard life. I'm overweight, and my hair is clearly the wrong colour and style (well actually there doesn't appear to be a style unless you count crap as a style). My clothes are ill fitting and don't suit me.

I have tried to remind myself that I only had a baby 6 months ago and I'm sleep deprived but it's not working.

Just talked to DP mainly to berate him for letting me go out in public and he says he doesn't like what I'm wearing and that it ages me. I have on a pair of awful bootcut jeans from Primark that I bought after birth for the awkward transition from maternity jeans to normal clothes, and a black sort of smock top. A lot of my jeans are cheap bootcuts. I may be stuck in a 90s timewarp (I'm 34). I do have a pair of skinnies in black and dp likes those.

My budget is extremely small as we've only the one income and two DC.

Where do I start?! Help a desperate woman please!

EliotNess Thu 11-Jul-13 03:27:51

They're vile. Make you pit on weight due to waistband. Do f flatter anything. My rotund mil likes them if that helps

NumTumDeDum Thu 11-Jul-13 11:08:46

Ha, yes that helps! ok, so thats a few more things for the charity shop.

hinkyhonk Fri 12-Jul-13 07:12:16

Just moved house and now have a full length mirror propped up in our bedroom.... Not great to catch sight of an unexpected frump. Amy way to angle the mirror so it doesn't make me even shorter and dumpier?

The defrump continues slowly.

NumTumDeDum Fri 12-Jul-13 09:13:17

I still don't have a full length mirror, I can't buy one with the kids in tow, no way to carry it to the car. I keep thinking I'll get one at the weekend and then forgetting.

Hinkyhonk, if you find that elusive angle let me know! grin

I've posted separately as well but I've got my hen night coming up and I need something to wear for that and a swimming costume for the spa. I'm broke and this is added stress! My sister has very kindly organised and paid for this, I think she assumed I had clothes etc. I literally have nothing that would be suitable for a night out - meal, bar, club. I'm thinking a dress as that cuts down options and matching things.

I really wanted the Very costume on Mn recommends but it's out of stock in my size. I'm sure wedding planning and hen planning is meant to be fun but all I'm doing is stressing like stressed eric. I don't want to let my sister down as she's put in a lot of effort and all my farflung friends are coming. I feel like crying this morning. I can't afford new clothes, this will have to go on my credit card, which I've finally cleared.

I've started jobhunting early, I said to myself September when dd starts school and Ds will be 10 months but I am so sick of counting every penny and feeling like buying brand shampoo is extravagant.

Passthecake30 Fri 12-Jul-13 11:55:33

I have been following this thread and have decided to de lurk...I'm 38 and in the process of having a pre mid life crisis. Been trying to deft frump , my wardrobe that consists of dull dull dull plain jersey tops and boring black trousers. I'm 6ft so struggle finding interesting things when tall ranges just cover the boring basics. So far this week I have chucked out very old gym gear and about 8 of said boring jersey tops and been on an on line shopping spurge that totals quite a lot but I guess lots will be sent back. I am blaming frumpsville on the fact that I have been the same size (apart from pregnancies) since I was 18,..... Some of the clothes I have date back to my mid 20s when boring clothes was maybe more acceptable (to me)

NumTumDeDum Fri 12-Jul-13 13:35:47

Hi Passthecake30. I know what you mean about having things for a long time. I finally threw out my stuff. It's quite cathartic in a way, I feel my bedroom is more organised and I can actually put things away and find things easier.

I've just been on the dressipi site (linked on my other thread) and it looks very good, I need to do their style challenge so it can recommend things for me to wear. I have the opposite problem to you, I'm on the shorter end of the scale, regular length legs but a short body so very often the tops need to be the petite range but they never have much in.

Mind you since I've been on MN I have had my eyes opened to what is out there, so many great websites and brands I had never heard of, I feel annoyed that I've only really bought on the high street. Have you tried posting for recommendations for tall women? I have found everyone so helpful with suggestions.

HelgatheHairy Sat 13-Jul-13 14:23:00

In my defrumping mission I've sent another bin bag of clothes to the charity shop AND perhaps more importantly I've bought a full length mirror for the first time in 2 years. I haven't had one since we moved into this house and I could just see chest up in the bathroom mirror.

Can't buy new clothes at the moment as 36+6. Want to try and sort (I.e. throw away most of) my underwear drawer next after having a look at the bra threads.

NumTumDeDum Sat 13-Jul-13 21:52:06

Nice one Helga, I will get one tomorrow for definite!

HelgatheHairy Mon 15-Jul-13 15:04:06

I've sorted the baby clothes by size does that count? (Went a bit crazy in the Next sale). It means the baby chest of drawers is all nice and organised!

Still need to tackle my underwear drawer.

Passthecake30 Mon 15-Jul-13 16:31:01

Got 2 new pairs of skinny crops to replace what id been wearing for years...too short jeans hacked off with kitchen scissors. Look smarter already.

Also got my first ever maxi dress...feeling v proud. Bet dp hates it as he is frumpy beyond imagination, plus has no idea what women wear so whenever I get something a little less dull it gives him a fright lol

Next to arrive is a replacement gym kit to replace my bobbly faded attire that I've worn forever.

At present if I've had it pre my first pregnancy then it is considered worthy of the defrump pile. Ds is 5 and a half.

NumTumDeDum Mon 15-Jul-13 17:01:03

The jeans sound great Passthecake. I had a set back, the bras I ordered arrived but really don't fit. Back to the drawing board. I think I'll try a back size up and a cup size down next. Desperate to get them up where they should be rather than tucked in my belt!

HelgatheHairy Mon 15-Jul-13 17:26:16

The whole bra thing is a minefield! I need to sort out my nursing bra but only have a mothercare or Debenhams and don't trust either of them to measure me properly so need to get out my tape measure and post a thread for help!

NumTumDeDum Mon 15-Jul-13 19:45:14

Right. The cellophane is off, the Shred is in the dvd player. I have squeezed my bulk into lycra (and drawn the curtains - boy am I glad I still haven't got that mirror). I just need to find the will to start. I'm sure it's here somewhere?...

NumTumDeDum Mon 15-Jul-13 20:37:48

Ha! I've done it. First lot of exercise since I ran the Sport Relief 5k at 12 weeks pregnant. And, surprisingly, it wasn't too bad! I will hurt tomorrow for sure but, I reckon it's do able. The only thing I really couldn't do was press ups, but I've never really been able to do them really. Need to get some better weights - slippy hands + baked beans = disaster waiting to happen. Is the idea that you do it every day? Because I was thinking I would alternate with a run but maybe that would be counter productive.

DP is now attempting it in an act of solidarity (he's a keeper this one). He's struggling with the quick switching between exercises.

NumTumDeDum Mon 05-Aug-13 21:11:01

I have finally purchased a full length mirror. Now I can see exactly how frumpy I look before I go out!

rockybalboa Mon 05-Aug-13 23:16:44

Just found this thread after having a major 'I'm a frump!' crisis today. I am a sucker for White Stuff longer length/tunic style tops especially if a bird print but realised that wearing them with leggings only works with chunky boots. With pumps or flip flops the shape of my legs just makes me look frumpy. Tried on various pairs of jeggings today, all fucking horrid. Do love my NL Supersoft Superskinnies though so might see if I can get away with a pair of them in green/dark red. It's just finding bottom halves for the W. Stuff tunics that is the problem. Too sticky for jeans at the mo. I thought jeggings were the answer but I'm too fat and they are just too tight round my shapely calves. Am 36, mum to 3 (youngest is only 3 weeks old mind you), 5ft 3, 3 stone overweight but 12/14 on top and 14 bottom. I do have a trendy fringe which looks great (altho not as much like Taylor Swift as i would hope) when I have time to straighten my hair but makes me look like Kathy Burke in Gimme Gimme Gimme if not. Watching this thread with interest. Tomorrow I will not be a frump. And my bank card might get a bashing...

Peregrin Fri 23-Aug-13 21:02:28

Are bootcut jeans frumpy?! confused butbutbut... I am a pear shape and they balance out my butt. I am aware that skinnies are all the rage but isn't it more frumpy to wear styles that don't suit one's body shape?

FariesDoExist Sat 24-Aug-13 21:30:17

Peregrin I don't know the answer, I cannot wear skinnies at all as I am 'blessed' with thunder thighs and small boobs but nobody seems to wear bootcuts anymore. The shops still sell them though!

rockybalboa Sat 24-Aug-13 21:48:08

Straight leg jeans are the not-skinnies-but-not-bootcut solution. New Look ones are good.

LadyMilfordHaven Sun 25-Aug-13 07:51:45

Bin the white stuff tunics. Frump tastic

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