A set of S&B questions that I would like answers to please?

[DorisShutt]

I'd like to make more of myself, but despite perusing various magazines, I'm still a bit non-plussed with some "random" questions. So, please answer with your opinions...
(And yes, some are a bit silly, but I really am paranoid and stressed about this as I'm a bit out of touch with style and beauty due to a very old fashioned upbringing and being bullied as a child.)

1. Handbags - do they have to match anything for day to day general use i.e. black handbag means you have to wear black shoes?
   
   
2. If I have light brown hair, can I wear black mascara and eyeliner?
   
   
3. Chunky legs with "cankles" - will ankle straps make things look better or worse? (I'd like this style for work, rather than plain court shoes)
   
   
4. At 35, and with a recent reduction in size to 14/16 (still 18 up top due to large norks) and with a limited selection of local shops, where would you recommend me to shop (I have John Lewis down for their personnel shopping service for work stuff, but I'm looking for casual tops, blouses and trousers too.
   
   
5. Slightly flabby upper arms - would you judge me if I wore cap sleeves?
   
   Thanks for your opinions!

[MrsCampbellBlack]

Ok my views are:

1 - Handbags do not have to 'match' shoes but I have a variety and use whichever one works best with what I'm wearing that day. However as my clothes tend to be of similar colours, in practice I quite often use the same bag all week. I'm currently using a red bag most days and a tan bag on the days where red wouldn't really work.

2 - I'd personally steer clear of black and go for brown instead but depends on eye colour/skintone etc and also the look you're going for. Go along to a Bobbi Brown counter and get them to do your eye make up and then copy at home with cheaper products.

3 - I think a plain court shoe would be more stylish - why do you want a strap?

4 - Zara, H&M, Dorothy Perkins, Warehouse, Jigsaw, Whistles, Mango, M&S - anywhere and everywere [helpful]

5 - I would not judge but think cap sleeves are possibly the most unflattering cut for sleeves. Sleeveless or slightly longer possibly more flattering.

[DorisShutt]

Strap because, erm, that's what I've always had. My DM always told me that court shoes were bad for me. I've only really just started wearing heels (1" or so).

Told you I was behind the times

[StrangeGlue]

1. No, matching too much makes it look like a shop assistant talked you into a set.

1. Yes fine but not too heavy

[MrsCampbellBlack]

I don't think a well fitting court shoe is at all bad for your feet.

I think a strap on a shoe, like the one you linked to - well its a tad frumpy.

A proper ankle strap can work well under trousers, if you're going for a lot of foot on display as it helps keep the shoe on your foot.

[StrangeGlue]

1. Worse but not hugely so

1. Next, joules, debenhams, phase 8

1. Of course not!

The most important thing is that you're comfy and feel good!

[Nehru]

1. no
   

2.no grey
3 those are monsters

[DorisShutt]

Okay, so those shoes are a no-no. Well, I'm guessing I need a style makeover coz I didn't think they were that bad

I think I might need to go shoe shopping for court shoes!

[PenelopePipPop]

1. Well-fitting courts are not uncomfortable and not bad for your feet. If you have recently lost weight it is honestly worth checking if you are more comfortable in shoes half a size smaller than you are used to. Sounds mad but I lost weight and went down a whole shoe size and had to get rid of all my old shoes. I'd go shopping and have a shufti at Dune or even better Kurt Geiger if funds are in (they have excellent stuff on sale all the time but you need to work out your size first before you can start ordering online with any confidence).
   

1. Honestly what kind of weirdo judges people's sleeves? OK there are people on here who get remarkably hot under the collar about flabby arms and cankles and all kinds of things that they find offensive about other peoples bodies. I try not to judge them back, and merely feel slightly sad that negotiating the physical world must be so distressing for them [cannot do a patronising smiley here but would if I could].

[QueenCadbury]

Fwiw my opinions are:

1. Handbag and shoes don't need to match although I quite like it when they do but need to tone with the rest of your outfit.
   
2. Black eyeliner and mascara may be too heavy for you. As mrscb suggested, go to a make up counter. You may find brown/navy/ grey more flattering
   
3. I wouldn't call those ankle straps. A true ankle strap certainly can make ankles look big but often depends on the length of your legs/clothes. I personally love a dolly shoe or a t bar strap but I think those ones you linked to are fairly dated and you could do better. Or as others have suggested, do a plain court shoe.
   
4. Shop anywhere. I'm 39 and mainly shop in Dorothy Perkins ( I really rate their tees), mango, oasis, warehouse and gap.
   
5. I shouldn't imagine people would judge but it sounds like you would feel uncomfortable wearing cap sleeves?

[PareyMortas]

Firstly I'd have a good look at womens fashion on Pinterest and blogs, pin things you like then go back and see what you liked about the images and how you might adapt to suit you. Take a good look at how things are worn. Woman wearing cardigan over a dress, is it belted? is it a contrast colour? what neckline is it? Are the sleeves pushed up, 3/4? How is it styled?

1. Matching handbag to shoes is old fashioned, but matching it to your outfit isn't, this doesn't mean it should be the same colour it could be a contrast.
   

1. I think black eyeliner, mascara is ok. I had a makeover at Space NK (would recommend) a few years ago and they said not to bother with brown and I'm similar colouring to you.
   

1. Ankle straps that are truly across the ankles can look fab but really only if you're very slim otherwise they make candles look worse. A lower strap like your link may not look so bad, but you need to try on. Fwiw I don't think those shoes are very nice. A comfortable stylish pair of court shoes can be found at Clarks.
   

1. Everywhere, loving Zara, Cos, Mango at the moment.
   

1. I find cap sleeves unflattering as the tend to cut across the arm making it look even wider (mine anyway). It's the only sleeve length I avoid.

[DorisShutt]

The problem I have with cap sleeves is that with being large of nork, I need a V or a boat neck if I don't have a collar - otherwise I look like man-mountain.
In the summer, most t-shirts which are slightly fitted or shaped are either cap sleeve or a very short sleeve (like this from H&M) and I don't know if I feel comfortable with my bingo wings on show IYSWIM.

[BrandyAlexander]

Hello! My tuppence worth....,

1. No they don't have to match. I do tend to match or for them to complement each other but I usually try and contrast the accessories with the clothes I am wearing.

1. Yes but will look dramatic. Is that the look you're going for?

1. Everywhere! I think Warehouse, Oasis and Wallis are having a good season. I would really recommend kaliko and phase 8 though as they do very nice cowl tops and dresses which are flattering for norks.

1. I love court shoes with t bar, but I must admit I don't love the ones in your link. I am a random stranger off the net though so don't let my comments influence you! Try them on and see if they flatter you.

1. I think the key is to not get capped sleeves that are so tight that they look like they are cutting of your circulation. Never flattering on anyone! Would I judge you? No,because I not a knob