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OK ladies, what is the deal with high heels??

(33 Posts)
nellieloula Sun 19-May-13 12:26:09

Looking for some truth and advice...! I have never really worn heels and when i do they are always either chunky ones or have a strap - this is because I have wide feet and am a bit of a wuss when it comes to trying not to wobble! I've stayed clear from them because they often cripple me but I am now desperate for a pair of high black shoes with a thin heel...they always look so beautiful and I think I am missing out. Here is the dilemma though - every pair I try is agony across my toes! they are getting crushed to bits and it's so sore!! So - are they always that painful? Is this an unspoken truth that we accept and just suck it up? Or can I find my perfect shoe out there somewhere...???? Prepared to pay for something that fits well....any thoughts?? thanks!

You might not be going high enough? I have wide feet and cannot wear 2-3" heels because of toe crushing, but can manage 4" ones because the toes are flexed and the weight is going down onto the balls of the feet more than in lower shoes where they get pushed forwards more. Still can't cope with them for every day but fine for nights out.

scaevola Sun 19-May-13 12:37:57

My feet became wider after having DC, and I have a similar problem.

Some of the feeling is because it's a different shape shoe, but it shouldn't be painful. My solution was to go up a size and put heel grips in the back. This will probably only work if it's only a single size increase you need for toe clearance though, as otherwise the gap at the back is just too much.

RonaldMcDonald Sun 19-May-13 12:40:15

Don't wear them for anything other than dinner/dinner party type in and SIT
they hurt like buggery and I can't walk or run in them efficiently

<also i have bunions>

ifancyashandy Sun 19-May-13 12:45:58

I have bunions and wear heels every day for work / evenings out. About 4+ inches. They hurt. That's the truth. But! A slight (non stripper) platform helps hugely. And look for slightly cushioned insoles - both Aldo and Dune have this in some of their shoes.

And when it comes to walking / the wobble, you have to move from hips and accept that they are going to make you wiggle - that is what they are designed to do. Give in to the wiggle!

freerangeeggs Sun 19-May-13 13:40:18

Agree about platforms. I had a pair of platform shoes with a 4" heel from Topshop (thin heel) and they were really comfortable, even though smaller heels often leave me sore.

Try a size up

YoniTime Sun 19-May-13 13:51:33

A shoe like that can never be completely painless to wear. You either have to decide that the shoe is worth the pain/discomfort or wear something more comfortable. Personally, I'm so glad flats are back in fashion (has been for a long time now)

Moominsarehippos Sun 19-May-13 13:55:51

I usually get a half size larger than usual and go for something that holds the foot well (if I can't run in them, they are no use to me!).

You can't usually tell how comfy they will be until you've worn them a while. My best find was a pair I bought as an emergency in the way to,an interview on TK Max and they are so nice a comfy. I also have a pair from M&S that are very soft on the foot.

I can't wear them so much now that I am an old bag,as I have a touch or arthritis and a crappy back, but until I hit 40 I used to wear heels for work without any pains. Of course, very flat flats (like pumps or ballet slippers) are the very worse for aches!

TheNewson Sun 19-May-13 14:11:32

At just 5ft 1, wearing heels has been a fashion necessity for 25 years now. They elongate the fat and make me taller.

A few years ago, when I lost my job and no longer had to torture my feet on a daily basis, I relented somewhat, and started wearing lower heeled wedges on the school run. I still can't do flats.

I have fairly narrow feet, yet still find certain heeled shoes painful.Though I tend to wear 4 inch heels when I go out (I need to). I find high wedges can look a bit clunky and less flattering than a stilleto.

Pain can be part and parcel of heels, I'm afraid. However, I have a very comfortable pair of 4 inch heels from Barratts that I swear by. I tend to buy shoes from New Look, due to the budget, the fantastic range and the fact they are relatively comfy in the main (more so than M&S, surprisingly).

OP, perhaps you could opt for a stilleto with a slight peep toe?

Insoles and gel cushions can help, as can walking to the venue in some foldaway flats then changing (oh the glamour of hopping around on one leg as you cram your tootsies into skyscrapers).


I have discovered Anne Klein heels for work and they are very wearable. I keep them at work and change into them. Also, I second the vote for fold up flats for getting to and fro, then changing into heels.

nellieloula Sun 19-May-13 15:01:40

OK - some good tips here. Thanks so much for coming back to me - I shall persevere then...although, the tip about going higher is pretty daunting, but actually makes sense!

Startail Sun 19-May-13 15:02:28

But if they hurt why bother! I just don't get it. No man would wear painful shoes, why do style conscious Women?

And why shell out £100's if pounds on shoes that hurt to the holy grail wearable pair.

I can walk into Clarks spend £50 on a pair of boots and know that they will be comfortable for the next two years until they fall apart.

BinksToEnlightenment Sun 19-May-13 15:19:25

It depends on the shoe. None of them are entirely comfortable, but a good pair shouldn't be unbearable. My Irregular Choice heels only hurt after a long night in them.

YoniTime Sun 19-May-13 15:32:39

I agree Startail, I just don't get it either. However it seems some think it's worth it and like the look of high heels. I'd rather be comfortable and able to move well.

JennySense Sun 19-May-13 15:34:20

I'm side of foot too and have bought from Clarks, Duo and occasionally M&S - good advice about the fold up flats there smile

Chewbecca Sun 19-May-13 15:36:36

I just bought these Clarks shoes in wide fit & am really pleased with them, they ARE comfy! They're not super high but I feel good in them. Very 80s feel about them too.

Algorta Sun 19-May-13 16:00:20

I'd also like to add that short women are fooling no one by wearing high shoes to look taller. You just look like short women in high shoes. And what's wrong with being short anyway?

BinksToEnlightenment Sun 19-May-13 16:54:43

It's got nothing to do with wanting to be taller. I like my height just fine. I just like nice shoes. I can live with a small amount of temporary discomfort. This is how I manage to not go to work in my pyjamas.

BeforeIWasWhoIAm Sun 19-May-13 20:29:58

I find New Look heels very comfy - but only after the first day or two, they need some breaking in which is the agonising part!

I go for about 4" with a slight platform and I love the slightly exaggerated walk you have to do to walk in them grin

Lucylloyd13 Wed 22-May-13 09:48:51

Another vore for 4inch heels with a slight platform. These M&S ones i now have in three colours they are so comfy, and yes, they do make you walk with a bit of a wiggle.

ZolaBuddleia Wed 22-May-13 10:01:47

It also depends on your weight. I've put loads on and heels are now really painful really quickly. Makes sense, all that weight on a tiny part of your foot.

Ladyflip Wed 22-May-13 14:11:07

I've been wearing these which are comfy but made for wide feet.
not to everyone's taste but not too expensive

daisydoodoo Wed 22-May-13 14:29:31

buy a wide fit heel and they will be a better fit. Clarks sell lots in wide fit now as do m&s and new look. I tend to get my heels from these stores. Next do a wide fit but i dont find them as comfortable.

Also in non wide fit, the m&s autograph range have lovely padded insoles.

petitdonkey Wed 22-May-13 14:35:35

I find these honestly, honestly comfy all day. A friend of mine has wide feet and was wearing these yesterday and they looked far more expensive than the price tag.

I have wide feet too and do size up (my birkenstocks are a 38 but all of my heels are a 40) but it is getting used to it. I used to wear heels every day but now I'm in flats or boots a lot more, I do find my feet ache more. As for the question of why I wear them, they make me feel lovely and I like the look. I see some people in footwear that I would deem hideous but I totally accept that they made a choice which they are happy with - I think Bink's point about pyjamas is a good one!

VerySmallSqueak Wed 22-May-13 14:42:16

If you insist on wearing high heels (and I cannot for the life of me see why it's necessary) then please make sure you can walk in them.

It makes me sad seeing a woman hobbling around in high heels thinking she looks fabulous when really her whole body shape is contorted just so she can walk.

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