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Dress code help needed for a very swish Hindu wedding please...

(47 Posts)
shoppingbagsundereyes Sat 18-May-13 18:46:16

We are invited to 3 days' of celebrations. I haven't got a clue what to wear to each event. Dh thinks it's naff if I try to wear traditional Indian clothes so I need some ideas of what to wear. Also need some advice on what colours/ things to avoid. I know I shouldn't wear red but otherwise am unsure.
So event 1: an evening of dancing, mehendi and masti at a fancy restaurant in London. ( I've googled masti and can't work out what it is. Anyone know?)
Event 2: the actual wedding ceremony
Event 3: an evening reception at the Royal Opera House.

All our friends who are going are Indian so will be wearing saris etc so aren't much use on the suggestions front.

MrsLettuce Sat 18-May-13 19:00:24

Bright is good. No black, white or red. Personally I'd want to do decent coverage. Someone more helpful will be along sortly, I'm sure!

What's your budget? Height, size, shape, colouring & age?

MrsLettuce Sat 18-May-13 19:01:29

AFAIK masti is fun and mischief

instantfamily Sat 18-May-13 19:05:02

I got outfitted by the bride when I went to one so was wearing a sari. But I would second the coverage. And wear all your most expensive jewellery.

shoppingbagsundereyes Sat 18-May-13 19:07:06

Thanks re masti. Budget is up to £100 for each day. I am 5'4 size 12-14' bad legs so I tend to wear 50's style just below the knee length if I'm wearing a dress. Wondering if trouser suit is the way to go for the wedding? We went to a Sikh wedding a few years ago and we had to sit on the floor. We needed to cover our hair for that one, guess I'd better check if you need to cover hair for Hindu ceremonies. I was totally ill prepared for that wedding. Had too much cleavage on show and kept having to hoik up my top and my scarf kept falling off my head.

shoppingbagsundereyes Sat 18-May-13 19:09:26

Oh I'm 40, have dark hair, am a winter in terms of colours I suit. Have got a lovely raspberry pink 50's style dress from phase 8 I'm wearing to an English wedding this summer. Might be ok for the royal opera house thing unless I'm going to need something full length. Sigh

MrsLettuce Sat 18-May-13 19:13:30

Would the pink 50's dress no be idea for the girly night

MrsLettuce Sat 18-May-13 19:13:50

Or am I wrong in thinking that's all women?

shoppingbagsundereyes Sat 18-May-13 19:28:23

Is men and women but I think there will be bits during the evening where we separate off. Good idea re the Friday though.

MrsLettuce Sat 18-May-13 21:28:24

How about this for the second day?

MrsLettuce Sat 18-May-13 21:33:02

or this?

starjules Sat 18-May-13 21:40:58

I went to one and really really wanted to wear a sari so went to our local sari shop and got kitted out. It was fushia pink with silver beads and silver embroidery and I have never ever felt more beautiful. I wore it with some traditional bangles on one arm and a huge diamond cuff on the other and diamond chandelier earrings (obviously both fake) and I had compliments the whole time. There were a lots of us who wore saris and the bride and groom commented that it was great. So not naff at all. HTH

starjules Sat 18-May-13 21:42:07

Sorry should of said I only wore the Sari for the wedding day.

Laquila Sat 18-May-13 21:44:37

In my (admittedly limited) experience of non-Asians at Asian weddings, it seems to be totally acceptable to wear traditional dress.

I went to a Sikh-Hindu wedding a few years back and wore a maxi dress with a little sequinned cardy over it, with gold sandals - would that kind of thing work?

Kittykatzen Sat 18-May-13 21:52:16

If you would like to try Indian dress but can't tie a sari/don't have someone to help you dress then you could try a tunic and trousers - a churidar suit or similar. Bright colours and lots of sparkle required! You can't really be too bling. I'm married into a Hindu family and think it looks lovely when the non-Asian guests dress up; at my own Hindu wedding friends and family wore saris and looked great. At the last (mixed) wedding we went to there were barely any non-Asian outfits there, I wore a churidar suit and it's very easy to wear (drawstring trousers and a tunic so no tricky tying up). Not expensive either. You could try it for one of the days? Otherwise I would say bold colours and keep cleavage to a minimum and not too short.

firesideskirt Sat 18-May-13 21:58:46

Wear traditional dress (even better, borrow from friends) - sorry but your DH is wrong and being quite silly!

VioletGoesVintage Sat 18-May-13 22:03:06

Oh wear a sari, honestly. Or lengha (long skirt, fitted top and dupatta scarf), which you might feel more comfortable in, or salwar kameez. Your DH is wrong when he says you'd look naff. Your friends and their families are likely to really appreciate it if you wear a sari or similar and I bet some of them would be only too happy to help you pick outfits. If you're in London there are tonnes of good places to shop.

If you really really don't want to, then think bright and think bling (which doesn't necessarily mean gold jewellery, though; silver, or silver polished gold is very fashionable right now).

shoppingbagsundereyes Sat 18-May-13 23:28:52

I like the idea of the Indian suit because it will tick all the boxes re modesty, sitting on the floor etc and (importantly) be comfortable so I can eat plenty of the amazing food I know will be on offer. Will work on dh. The inexpensive angle may swing it smile

shoppingbagsundereyes Sat 18-May-13 23:36:18

Sorry, should have said thank you everyone, your ideas are helping me immensely smile

raisah Sun 19-May-13 05:50:57

Dont wear a sari if you have never worn one before and I say that after years of wearing one. You will spend too much time fretting if it stays in place etc. Much safer to wear a tunic suit or lengha or maxi dress. Monsoon do nice ones with fusion prints & embellishments. Try Bombay Looks or CBazaar on line for ideas. Your Raspberry dress is ideal for mehendi as its usually bright colours like green or yellow. Ask the bride/groom if they are having a colour theme, at mine it was green. This mehendi soubds v formal, mine was at home with just close female friends & family. We all had a girly pamper night while I had my wedding henna (mehendi) done.

raisah Sun 19-May-13 05:58:14

Bees online have lovely jewellery.
Try Green street (Indian shops nearest tube Upton Park. Turn left at main tube exit & walk down 10 mins until you see the asian shops or follow all the Asians as they are all going to the same bit!) Tip bargain hard as unfortunately the shop owners will illegally inflate prices because you are not asian.

Nehru Sun 19-May-13 07:52:23

Agree with h. Trad dress bad
Slightly patronising

Nehru Sun 19-May-13 07:53:05

I would do maxi dress
I fear.

VioletGoesVintage Sun 19-May-13 08:17:45

Nope, definitely not patronising. If anything, at least at some weddings, the opposite would be true. Some people, aka one slice of my in-laws, would raise eyebrows at people who didn't wear Asian dress. Not saying they should be pandered to, btw (and I don't always....), just putting it out there!

Maxi dress would be fine but you'd have to keep your shoulders covered and, depending on how traditional the hosts are, maybe your arms too.

redandyellowbits Sun 19-May-13 08:28:04

I agree, you should wear Indian clothes, it is always much appreciated at Indian weddings when guests do this.

Also - you don't have to cover your head at a Hindu wedding.

Don't wear a sari as they can be fiddly, but a suit would be great Ealing Road in Wembley is another great place for Indian clothes shopping (and lunching!).

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