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Wearing clothing that isn't "you"?

(12 Posts)
DorisShutt Sun 28-Apr-13 07:54:20

This might be a bit garbled, but hopefully you'll understand!

I'm a very conservative dresser - think jeans, nice plain t-shirt top, stripey Breton top or a plain-ish blouse. Black trousers in winter, cream linen trousers in summer. Probably "mum" style boots or Mary Jane shoes. This is all a relic of being bullied as a child - I wear stuff that doesn't stand out.

I see t-shirts with logos on them and think they look nice, but I won't buy them (for example this ) as I have a left over feeling that people will laugh at me for wearing them as it's not something that I would wear IYSWIM - like I'm playing dress up.

How do I start to improve my wardrobe? Can I get over this feeling?

chanie44 Sun 28-Apr-13 08:34:42

Start small, buy some accessories like a scarf, bangle, or hair clip - something different to what you normally wear but not too far outside your comfort zone. Wear it around your home a few times, then maybe to a family event and gradually build up to wearing it out. Then gradually wear things further outside your comfort zone and repeat the process.

You'll soon find that most people don't give a crap about what most people wear......

AmberNectarine Sun 28-Apr-13 08:46:58

I'm a very casual dresser, so every day I put on smart clothes for work, I feel like I'm playing dress up. I actually quite enjoy it - I call it my split personality.

Chanie is right, people really don't care what others wear. I dress borderline outrageously at times and have yet to ever garner comment from anyone but my husband! The advice to start small is really good. Go on, give it a try, I bet you'll be rocking those statement tees before long!!

Pinkflipflop Sun 28-Apr-13 08:49:36

In general people don't really care what other people wear. However if you were wearing something embellished or something that stood out a little people might glance to admire you!

DeafLeopard Sun 28-Apr-13 08:54:24

I agree with starting small and also make it something that you can take off and put in your bag if you start to feel self conscious about what you are wearing.

I do agree that people don't care what others wear (in spite of what you might think having read some of the threads on S&B); however if I notice someone wearing something lovely then I tend to compliment.

Startail Sun 28-Apr-13 08:57:46

You have probably been bad for my bank balance, That sort of top is exactly the sort I wear to avoid all my T shirts being striped.

So personally I think that would be a good start, I can't see anyone noticing a top like that in a bad way. It's not at all out there.
Scarfs I find I mess with. Wild earrings I've always worn because I worked in a gift shop that sold them.

DorisShutt Sun 28-Apr-13 08:59:15

I have thought about starting small but jewellery I do anyway as I have some lovely pieces (sadly inherited); nothing flashy but I do change it about a lot.

I've got short hair so clips don't work, and as I'm only 5ft 1" scarves do tend to make me look like I'm playing dress up - literally grin

I think quite a lot of the issue stems from a quite old fashioned upbringing where you had stuff for "good"; your Sunday best. I therefore have clothes that I wear for work (not many as I'm only starting to go back into the office) but I wouldn't wear casually - even just a cardigan. Similarly, the nice Breton tops I wouldn't wear to work as they are "casual" even though I've seen others in the office wearing similar stuff.

I think I may need someone (Gok Wan but not as brutal) to come round, slap me and tell me what to wear. Volunteers?

Wigeon Sun 28-Apr-13 09:03:49

Have you thought of trying someone like these people - you can get them to tell you what colours suit you best, and also (separately or together) to tell you what type of styles suit you best. Good if you are rather clueless and just need to be told like me. I did the colour analysis with them and think they were spot on. And some colours I thought suited me, like dark brown (because I have brown hair and eyes hmm) really don't suit me.

By the way, I really don't think that top is at all risky. In fact I think it is still v mumsy and I wouldn't particularly notice it on someone. So go for it if it's slightly pushing your boundaries!

chanie44 Sun 28-Apr-13 09:43:29

Have you thought about a personal stylist - think house of Fraser have a free service. They can help you choose a few bits and pieces.

Also , check out a few blogs, to see what 'normal' women wear.

I know you said you don't feel like you ca wear scarves - you can tie them to your handbag and put it in your bag if you feel uncomfortable!!!!

AmberNectarine Sun 28-Apr-13 09:46:40

Agree that that top won't turn anyone's head. Honest!

DorisShutt Sun 28-Apr-13 17:38:52

Personal stylist sounds interesting - no HoF nearby, but do have a John Lewis - I assume they'd do the same thing?

I'm hoping to lose a bit more weight, and then revamp my wardrobe but how much do you think they'd want me to spend? Would I need £££'s or could I go in with a budget of £xxx?

OneLittleLady Sun 28-Apr-13 17:59:50

I think you could go in with a set budget if you wanted to. Stepping out of your comfort zone is hard but it's worth it even if it's only a couple of baby steps out.

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