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Clothes that you have never been able to wear

(99 Posts)
LifeofPo Wed 17-Apr-13 21:40:31

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TondelayoSchwarzkopf Fri 19-Apr-13 04:52:49

Trousers - yet to find a pair that don't say 'hello, have you noticed my saddle bags and my wide flat British Bottom - let me draw your attention to them.'

I love skater dresses - my legs are great from mid thigh down, but they hide said saddlebags and wobbly upper thigh action.

Also YY to
- shirt dresses - ridiculous pockets on boobs, potato sack waistline
- shirts
- sleeveless in public - arms are moley and pale though tragically quite toned.
- anything unstructured and floaty
- suits

TheRealFellatio Fri 19-Apr-13 04:09:33

drjohnson you and I must be twins separated at birth! I have the same issue with tailored shirts, as well as trousers and skirts. If they fit me on the bust they are too shapeless in the body, too wide on the shoulders and too long in the arm. If I buy petite size they are great in the shoulder and the arm but too short in the body. If I buy something that fit's neatly at the waist I have to leave buttons undone from ribcage upwards, and wear a vest top underneath, and the buttons will strain on my boobs.

My legs are short and dumpy and I have a low-slung arse, so if I wear straight or skinny jeans I look like a parsnip. If I wear baggy boyfriend jeans I look about three sizes bigger than I am. So I stick to bootcut - they may be 'over' but at least they don't make me look laughable.

pseudonymity Fri 19-Apr-13 03:10:45

I agree with so many of these. I can't wear:

Shirt dresses
Wrap dresses
Biker jackets (they are too middle aged)
Tailored trousers (12 inch difference between waist and hips)
Knee boots (just feel restricted)
I'm happy with tight dresses but hate tight tops with tight bottoms (Carol Vorderman)
Blingy/posh bags (feel ridiculous, like I am carrying a prize turkey around)
Tight tees in general (just yuck)

Things that I like that other people find difficult:

Polo necks - especially dresses
Sleeveless tops - arms have always been a good feature, envy of friends

70isaLimitNotaTarget Fri 19-Apr-13 01:04:23

Clothes- anything supportless (boobs heading south)

Make-up - red lipstick. I look like a badly done up drag queen sad

toffeefee Thu 18-Apr-13 22:14:05

Drjohnsonscat - I ask that very question all the time!! It's funny as my one friend who can go into any shop and things just fit her really well hates her figure!

Any shirt that isn't from Pepperberry
Pretty much all trousers and jeans
Polo necks

Jenijena Thu 18-Apr-13 19:55:21

Don't do sandals (ugh, feet), anything above 3/4 length sleeves (ugh, arms) and anything which exposes legs-not-in-tights. I'm not a summer person...

hattymattie Thu 18-Apr-13 19:43:58

Anything with belts as I'm straight up and down so it looks like the belt is round a toilet roll tube. I would love to do shirt dresses but can't. Shirt collars look weird - not sure why and shirts always pull across the boobs.

lowercase Thu 18-Apr-13 18:40:03

Reassuring thread smile

Can't do low rise or sleeveless.
Can't do heels of any description.

Straight up straight down flat arsed I love a shirt dress.

BurnThisDiscoDown Thu 18-Apr-13 18:15:59

Gilets. They make me look fat and grumpy.
Skinny jeans. Look like a parsnip.
Polo necks. Give me boobs like a shelf.

OneLittleLady Thu 18-Apr-13 17:58:36

I am the opposite, I look horrendous in pencil skirts. based on my figure, they should look good but they really really don't. I look much better in something that flares out and hides my stomach flap as bestowed on me by a twin pregnancy and a c-section.

TrampyPants Thu 18-Apr-13 17:56:45

I think its the skirt thats a problem for me. I look better in pencil skirts prom dresses are horrific.

OneLittleLady Thu 18-Apr-13 17:54:22

I look pretty good in a skater dress as long it's the right material!

TrampyPants Thu 18-Apr-13 17:53:37

skater dresses. Who actually wears them? apart from extras on Glee?

iklboo Thu 18-Apr-13 17:52:02

Shorts. I look like Lofty from It Ain't Half Hot Mum if I try.

Twit Thu 18-Apr-13 17:42:53

I need clothes to fit a 12 year old boy with huge nooks and a slight pot belly
I dread summer, layering is fine, but summer... sad

AnyFucker Thu 18-Apr-13 17:28:28

I need to wear clothes designed to fit a teenage boy sad

drjohnsonscat Thu 18-Apr-13 17:20:23

tall, skinny, flat chested, broad shouldered, long armed, and flat bottomed. It would seem that the clothing industry designs does not design or cut clothes to fit my 'shape'

I am the complete opposite on all these features and the industry doesn't cater to me either confused. Exactly who is buying clothes out there?

I have big boobs, small waist, huge bum. I can't wear straight skirts - wide enough to go over my bum means wide enough at the waist to fit me and another person inside. Ditto jeans. Stretched over ample thighs but blackwall tunnel size gaping at the back.

drjohnsonscat Thu 18-Apr-13 17:17:55

white linen trousers - the drawstring ones that look floaty and lovely in the catalogues and make me look like a pale pink pig in a bag in real life.

polo necks - not with boobs you can't

peasant-style dresses with empire waistlines. Make me look like the most enormous Tiny Tears doll.

UtterflyButterfly Thu 18-Apr-13 17:08:51

Lovely thoughts woozle - I have the Judi Dench haircut, but not the grace and bearing to carry it off the way she does!

NomDeOrdinateur Thu 18-Apr-13 17:06:23

Biker jackets (sad);
Hammer pants/jogging bottoms (but can anyone?);
Short/flouncy skirts (indecent on me due to wide hips, even though I'm tiny);
Button-down blouses/shirts (buttons gape/pop open or I look pregnant);
High necklines (matronly bosom effect);
White or any bright or pastel colours, esp. orange, yellow, green;
Hair accessories (hmm).

Twit Thu 18-Apr-13 16:55:17

I'm the same as mrscampbellblack.

MadBusLady Thu 18-Apr-13 16:32:29

Hmph, well just about the only thing I do look great in is wiggle skirts and fitted tops and variations thereon. Unfortunately they look bloody stupid for trips to the cornershop.

AnyFucker Thu 18-Apr-13 16:30:20 sound just like me smile

toffeefee Thu 18-Apr-13 16:01:20

It's probably easier for me to list what I can wear!

Skinny jeans
Straight leg jeans
7/8 jeans or trousers
Vest tops.....

that's about it.

I'm tall, skinny, flat chested, broad shouldered, long armed, and flat bottomed. It would seem that the clothing industry designs does not design or cut clothes to fit my 'shape'. Am considering running up my own!

I would love to be able to wear one of those wiggle skirts or a fitted top and it actually fit in the right places. Would love a beautiful winter coat that fitted my waist, shoulders and had long enough sleeves. Waisted dresses - ie skater dresses - are more like empire line on me. Love, love, love fashion and clothes, but hate shopping.

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