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Um - not sure what you're asking really - is it too big & puffy when you've styled & hairsprayed it? If so maybe you should stop using mousse, which adds more texture & volume generally. Try using a serum or leave in conditioner instead, then rough drying and using straighteners all over.
Big hair set like a helmet with tons of spray is never a good look
Tis one of the wonders of the modern world how seemingly sexily tousled casual hair is actually extremely high maintenance, however from your description it sounds like you may need some layers putting in as this is what creates the movement. I have a cowlick as you describe and find it is an absolute night mare when I had short hair but barely notice it when my hair is long definitely go back to the hairdressers and at the very least get them to teach you how to dry it yourself and suggest some products to use.
Rough drying to me is brushing it wet into the style (ie just basically finding the parting if you have one) and then blasting with the dryer using your hands to scruff it up as you go. Then rub wax all over it. That's it !
Get a load of pics of what you want. Go to salon and ask them to teach you how to do it yourself at home and buy the products (or write down the names of) they use. It might not EXACTLY resemble the pics as you may have different hair texture.
Go as you are naturally. I would want to do your hair from wet so would wash it at the salon anyway. You should be able to coax a cowlick to behave with blow drying.
I used to have a similar thing with mine when it was in a Beckam-esque bob. I used to think I looked like Darth Vader. Anyhow what softened mine up was flicking bits out at the sides with my straightener. A bit Judy Finnegany but it did away with the Darth. Now I've grown it out and wear it up all the time because it's so lank, thin and crap that I'm sick of messing with it.