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Today I did a bad thing- bikini trauma

(42 Posts)
GrumpyKat Sun 03-Mar-13 16:08:28

So today I went and tried on a bikini. In TKMaxx. What on earth was I thinking? Clearly it looked dreadful, I looked like a pale and flabby sausage in a skin two sizes too big in the worlds most unflattering lighting.
The problem is that I have to wear a bikini on the beach in just under three weeks. I've lost about a stone and a half since being quite ill last year and it's left my skin larger than me iyswim. And the illness means that I retain fluids as well, making me look odd and lumpy. I actually look ok in clothes, but DREADFUL when squished into a bikini/swimwear. I'm about a 12 on the inside and a 14 including skin!
Does anybody have any good body smoothing/toning techniques? Unfortunately I can't do any cardio exercise either so I'm just really....baggy. Particularly my thighs and tummy.
Please help!

olivo Sun 03-Mar-13 20:22:16

I disagree, since having polyhydramnios with DD2, I have always worn a swimsuit instead of a bikini, thanks to the sag left behind by all that fluid. I am never the only one and I feel soooooooo less self conscious than if it was all on display. I got 2 lovely ones from boots.

coffeeinbed Sun 03-Mar-13 20:29:37

Epsom salts in the bath water - I used then when I had cramps after running, they are really good for water retention and when you're feeling bloated.
Also - if you're feeling brave - cold/warm showers. If your budget allows Clarins Tonic or Anti-Eau oil are brilliant for this.

GrumpyKat Sun 03-Mar-13 20:33:44

I'm doing the epsom salts bit as my acupuncturist instructed, it does help and my edema (kidneys are malfunctioning) is far more under control.
Olivo I know exactly what you mean! Last October I weighed a stunning three stone more than I do now, two of which I put on in fluid in just over two weeks. The sag that it's left behind is bizarre, and I can't see that it'll ever go away. Underneath I actually have pretty good muscle structure but on the top? Good lord!

GrumpyKat Sun 03-Mar-13 20:34:57

Norbert, that could have been so embarrassing, hurrah for holding your tongue just long enough for you to get what he meant!

AlisonMoyet Sun 03-Mar-13 20:36:27

one pieces look like you have a terrible scar to cover

( at the mo - fashions chnage)

olivo Sun 03-Mar-13 20:39:50

But where do you hide the overhang in a bikini? The polyhydramnios skin hanging over two CS scars is not pretty to look at?!

GrumpyKat Sun 03-Mar-13 20:50:44

Agree Olivo, there is nowhere to hide! But, have a look at the for lola ones, they look lovely <hope hope that there's enough money in the bank account next week!>

nilbyname Sun 03-Mar-13 20:59:29

I think that a well
Chosen one piece will look great as you will wear it with aplomb!

MistyB Sun 03-Mar-13 21:06:15

Seconding For Luna!! I love mine!!

whateveritakes Sun 03-Mar-13 21:35:58

I don't know... I just think that chunky cut swimwear (a la 1950's or swim shorts) just make you look chunky. It's not like you can't see the person is a wobbly 16 or whatever.

At least a bikini doesn't leave bulges plus you look more confident (thereby convincing everyone to look elsewhere for their insecure smirking)

AlisonMoyet Sun 03-Mar-13 21:43:48

oh no to those horric retro ones

nothing says english woman abroad more, fgs
would these pants work?

AlisonMoyet Sun 03-Mar-13 21:44:09

i like this a LOT

AlisonMoyet Sun 03-Mar-13 21:44:43

the retro ones make you look like Kirsty Bloody allsop

DONT DO IT, you will look like you are an extra in a 1940s seaside drama

malteserzz Mon 04-Mar-13 08:46:41

I've not worn a bikini since my teens and I've been to many different countries and never felt self conscious in a one piece. I've never been the only one wearing one either, you should wear whatever you feel comfortable in

Iaintdunnuffink Mon 04-Mar-13 09:35:31

Like Malteserzz I haven't worn a bikini since my teens, been on holiday in many countries, never felt self conscious in a one piece and never been the only one to wear one.

GrumpyKat Mon 04-Mar-13 13:21:25

The good news is that having turfed out my cupboards and tentatively tried on my swimwear from way back fits!! Bloody all of it! So it's sit ups and sucking in for me this holiday.
The bad news bikini shopping. Oh well!

Thanks all for your opinions and assistance.

snoworneahva Mon 04-Mar-13 15:04:19

I have a lovely 1950's style gingham Seafolly (Australian) - it's gorgeous and what's wrong with looking like a Brit abroad, that's what I'd be. I quite like Brit style! grin I'm not keen on tiny bikinis but whatever makes you feel good you should wear.

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