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Is it best to "surprise" DH and come home with short hair?

(88 Posts)
Watfordsue Mon 04-Feb-13 14:07:50

Hi Girls, I am in a dilema about what to do about cutting my hair. Like most men DH likes it long but I am so desperate to cut it I am scared he will talk me out of it. I am very petite and I always had Pixie cuts till I was about 19 and then grew it as boys liked long hair. Since having DS1 six years ago I started wearing it simply all scraped back in a band permanently off my face, This was great and easy especially when DS2 and DD1 came along! When we manage to get out together I try to make the effort with the heated rollers and wear it loose and curly, DH thinks its sexy. When DD was two last year I felt I needed a job as after spending years with babies I was short of adult conversation and when DH came home it was always baby talk. I managed to get a perfect Part Time job in a local cafe, I absolutely LOVE it, I have gained confidence, got my slim figure back, I feel I am contributing to the family and most importantly I feel so much better about myself. The only problem with working in a cafe is the smell........I come home and stink of food all over me. I tend to shower every morning and again quickly when I get home but the problem is that I just don't have the time to wash my hair daily after work and it stinks of fried food all the time. Even though its scraped back I can smell it round my face and my bedding and pillows stink also. I feel going back to a simple Pixie cut would be perfect, 30 seconds blowing and I will feel great, the problem is DH, if I mention that I would like to cut my hair short, he will probably say how much he likes me long and I will feel guilty cutting it, the other option is to just have it done after work, he then comes home to a sassy new wife and I just surprise him. My friends are undecided on what is best to do, they also have husbands who like long hair! My Mum who went through the same thing with my Dad said it was 10 years before she finally cut hers, I can't put up with this that long. Mum came out with a good line and said, " You are nearly 30, a big mortgage and 3 kids, what can he do!!"

I would appreciate advice on what to do.......

I have posted this on two boards as I am unsure which is best.


Eliza22 Mon 11-Feb-13 09:27:38

OP, is it done? smile

Fanjounchained Sat 09-Feb-13 08:53:23

grin ledkr !

ledkr Fri 08-Feb-13 20:53:47

My dh would just be glad of a shag to be honest!
IM FUCKING TIRED alright <tuts>

Heifer Fri 08-Feb-13 20:18:42

Lol at a visual relationship.
I sometimes look like a sack of sh*t but am pretty sure DH still loves me. I can't imagine him saying "no sorry I can't possible shag you with short hair"!!

ledkr Fri 08-Feb-13 19:47:20

Yeah make a nice change from fags and beer ha ha

PickledInAPearTree Fri 08-Feb-13 19:36:15

I would quite like my hair to smell like bacon n egg! grin

ledkr Fri 08-Feb-13 19:24:38

Oh yes if course. Far easier.than washing your sodding hair eh?

PickledInAPearTree Fri 08-Feb-13 19:21:31

My favourite was get a new job! Waaaaa!

ledkr Fri 08-Feb-13 19:14:50

It's shocking isn't it? I particularly like "boys like long hair" do they indeed?

PickledInAPearTree Fri 08-Feb-13 19:07:30

Waaaaaa! This thread is hilarious.

I only read it to see why it broke seeker.

Now I see. grin

KristinaM Fri 08-Feb-13 16:57:35

I blame johnnie Boden

seeker Fri 08-Feb-13 14:53:27

I keep coming back to this thread to depress myself further. I have forgotten the use of the word "sassy"- thank you soooooo much for reminding me. Not.

<seeker shambles away, a broken woman>

Trills Fri 08-Feb-13 11:41:04

He won't "come home to a sassy new wife"

He will come home to the same wife, with the same level of sassiness, as he always had, but with a different haircut.

Enjoy your spa day and your haircut - make sure that you get the cut that you want. I would normally recommend going to see the hairdresser and talk before you agree to let them cut your hair in a drastic way, but if you are clear enough about what you want ("pixie cut" is too vague on its own) I'm sure it'll be great.

LittleChimneyDroppings Fri 08-Feb-13 10:40:44

men are pretty visual, and if they don't have an appetite, they don't eat IYKWIM!

jeez, if my dh was that shallow he could starve then. hmm

Enjoy your spa day op.

KristinaM Fri 08-Feb-13 10:34:19

TBH with 3 small kids, a big mortgage and a job I love, getting enough sex would be WAY down my list of priorities. ( Unlike getting enough time alone/ to pee without company /shopping/out with friends /chocolate ice cream /wine.) But each to their own wink

KristinaM Fri 08-Feb-13 10:30:30

Indeed Ithaka. If men only had sex with women who looked like Barbie, the human race would have died out long ago.

Eliza22 Fri 08-Feb-13 09:00:30

I have short hair (pics on profile). DH loves it. What he hates is any procrastination or whining on my part. He just doesn't understand the women's "shall I grow it....stay short?" thing. That's because he has a short back and sides and makes daily decisions about very important stuff..... A haircut just doesn't signify "major" to him.

Have a great day OP and upload a pic of the new you, if you will smile

ithaka Fri 08-Feb-13 07:22:53

Coming late to this, but I had my hair cut short recently. My DH & I have been together for over 20 years and he has only ever known me with long hair.

I did tell him I planned to get it cut and his reaction was 'go for it'. I love my short hair and it is definitely more stylish. However, DH did admit, when pushed, he preferred it long....I have thought about it but I have decided to stay short for the time being. It looks better and DH is getting used to it - he isn't someone who really likes change.

For all the concerned 1950s types, it hasn't affected our sex life. Some men are still capable of doing the deed when their wife ha short hair (unbelievable, I know).

KristinaM Fri 08-Feb-13 07:14:07

Hope you have a lovely day sue. and do post photos of your new hair style, if you are feeling brave :-)

Watfordsue Fri 08-Feb-13 01:29:07

Hi everyone, thanks for all your comments and advice. I think I came over a bit soft, I certainly don't do as he says, in fact he has never told me to do anything, however I agree it is my appearance and as such I will decide. The reason I was a bit hesitant is because we do both like to please each other in many aspects of our relationship. Anyhow, I have sorted out the issue, I have decided to have a beauty spa day package together with my cousin, for facials, nails, brows etc.... including a new hairstyle. I have told DH that I will be coming home looking like a new wife, he was pleased and said have a great day! Some of you may think I am mad but I feel better at least warning him. So, we will book it for next Saturday and see how it goes.
Thanks for all your advice.

MissBeehivingUnderTheMistletoe Thu 07-Feb-13 22:09:57


AnyFucker Thu 07-Feb-13 22:06:22


< light dawns >

MissBeehivingUnderTheMistletoe Thu 07-Feb-13 22:05:09

That would be not a proper grown up relationship AF

AnyFucker Thu 07-Feb-13 21:57:57

what are "visual" relationships, exactly ? confused

GettingGoing Thu 07-Feb-13 21:40:14

It depends on your relationship and how visual it is. Would you still feel the same if he grew a long beard, or shaved his hair/dyed his hair blue?

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