I've sartorially lost my way and am unfashionable and unrecognisable with nothing to wear...

[Spuddybean]

Any advice welcome. I went shopping yesterday and kept trying on things which would have suited me and my lifestyle pre baby. But now looked awful and are totally unfit for purpose. i left the shops tearful and defeated with nothing yet again.

I used to wear very tailored pencil skirts, trousers, fitted v necks and shirts. I had a tiny waist, flat stomach and no boobs and an office job. Now I have one huge boob, a thicker waist and a ginormous arse and thighs and am a sahm.

All jeans/trousers which aren't boot cut look awful on me, so if i can even find them in the shops are totally out of style now anyway and make me feel 100 years old. I look okay in wrap dresses but they are impractical when i need to change 3 times a day and are also not exactly on trend.

I am planning to lose weight, but it wont be for a few months and i have to get out of my dreadful maternity clothes. I also don't have a massive budget. But the main problem is, this is all new to me and i don't know where to start.

i'm 5ft 10in, a size 16, and my arms and thighs are extremely fleshy and lumpy. legs are decent from mid thigh down but calves are muscular due to previous exercise.

Suggestions welcomed?

[KristinaM]

Ok don't get too down on yourself , nearly everyone feels like this post baby. There is so much in the media about your figure " snapping back into place" aftre childbirth ,slebs all claiming that " the weight just dropped off since I'm such a busy mum". It's NOT like that for most of us, honestly . How old is your baby?

Also don't worry about the style thing. You were a stylish skinny office worker and you will soon be a stylish ( slightly more curvy) SAHM.you just need to get your head round a different image BEFORE you going shopping. The experts will be along soon with more concrete suggestions, I promise

[Spuddybean]

Thanks for making me feel better. DS is 12 weeks. I just can't get my head round it i think. In my mind i look the same. I went into fcuk and picked up a style which classically would really flatter me and thought as it was a 16 it would look the same but just a bit bigger. BUT NOO! my arms looked as tho they were sausages bursting out of their skins.

Basically the area between bust and waist has gone down more than everywhere else (so altho bigger than it was, from the front i looks very hourglass) and i have a bit of a tummy bump, so i can live with that - i expected that. What i didn't expect is the arms and arse/thigh combo! I mean why?????

[justasecond]

If bootcut jeans suit you, you should wear them. I think they can look very modern with a smart top or shirt semi tucked in and cardigan or blazer on top or with longer top (not tunic) that is shorter at the front than back. I like the Next Lift and Shape as they are a slim bootleg rather than the old fashioned flared ones www.next.co.uk/x50264s3#828296x50

[dexter73]

I think you need to stop worrying about what is on trend or out of style and wear clothes that suit your lifestyle now. Get bootcut jeans or trousers if they suit you as they will look much better than a style that don't. Also separates are good if you are getting sick on your clothes as you only have to change your top and not your whole outfit. Maybe try some plain tops and different coloured scarves.

[justasecond]

12 weeks is very early, you will lose a lot of weight without doing anything over the next couple of months if you were slim to begin with. Don't worry, its early days!!

[Cybbo]

Mid thigh tunic style dresses (Zara have some ) thick ribbed tights and chunky boots or ankle boots. Long line cardis over the top or boxier chunky ones

Look for a straighter leg jean, make sure it's long enough as you are tall. I will link to some stuff

[carrie74]

I'd be wary of buying much just yet, TBH, as your body is still in recovery and still has quite a bit of change in it yet (it took me 6 months to get back my familiar figure after Thing 1). I bought some stuff, and it only lasted me a few months before I'd shrunk again (luckily it was pretty much all H&M cheapy stuff, so no great loss). Finding my style mojo again took a lot longer, and recently I've found style blogs aimed more for my age and lifestyle a good source of inspiration. I like schoolgatestyle and does,ybumlook40inthis.

[Spuddybean]

well i was losing 5lbs per week but 4 weeks ago it just stopped and nothing is shifting now. i am nearly 2st over my normal weight. but i maintained my normal weight by swimming 2km and going to the gym 4 times a week and fast walking for 1hour per day. I just cant get back to anything like that now.

[Cybbo]

what about this shape? or do you need access for feeding? that comes in pattern too I think

[Cybbo]

this would be lovely with chunky boots

[Spuddybean]

thanks, i have to pop out now. back in a couple of hours to have a proper look.

Cybbo - that last one would be lovely on someone else. but i am very broad shouldered so need shape in at the waist, otherwise everything hangs straight down and i look like a square tent.

[Spuddybean]

Thanks for all the links/replies. I have had a think and i think a few trousers and some easily changed tops would suit my lifestyle at the mo.

I've seen these jeans on the New Look Website (i'm not a Next fan) jeans and i thought some plain t-shirt tops/v neck jumpers for the time being to tide me over till i lose weight and find something more me.

I think i also need some practical footwear for pushing the buggy in the rain. What is best with jeans? hmmm I wont be able to get knee boots over my calves.

[QueenCadbury]

As others have said don't be too hard on yourself. 12 weeks is very early days and if still bf then your body may be holding onto fat stores. It took me at least 4 months with all 3 dc to get vaguely back to my normal figure and then about another 4 months with exercise/watching what I eat to completely get back to normal and even though I'm the same weight, my body is totally different and even after each child there's been items that just haven't fitted the same.

Try not to be too depressed about shopping. I went the other day and felt really depressed afterwards but the shops at the moment are just full of sparkly party wear. Once the new season stuff comes in next year there's bound to be more choice.

If boot cuts look best then wear them. Dark colours tend to look better and smarter. As others have said your shape is still changing so just get some cheap stuff to get you through till spring. New look, primark or supermarkets or have basic t shirts. Use cardigans' scarfs or jewellery to make them look different.


Must go as dc has woken from her nap....

[Spuddybean]

Thanks. I'm getting married in Jan and i know i wont want any pics because i feel so awful. :(

I know i should give myself a break. My parents are quite blunt too and keep commenting - eg when i showed dad a wedding dress i was thinking of getting (a diane von furstenberg cocktail dress) he said 'the reason it looks nice on her (the model) is because she's good looking with a great figure, so it's not going to look nice on you is it?' and mum sat with ds on her lap saying 'look! there's fat mummy'

[justasecond]

no wonder you are down OP thats just left me speechless. Poor you, don't take any notice I am sure you will look stunning. Size 16 for your height is really not big at all

[Llareggub]

How rude of your parents!

[ShotgunNotDoingThePans]

So, do you have an hourglass figure? I suspect that's the case as the arms ate often a place where fat easily shows for those people. And, although it's the 'ideal' femi ine shape, it's very easy to look and feel fatter than you ate by dressing the wrong way - particularly at the moment, with all the shapeless, baggy tunics everywhere.
Some info on dressing an hourglass here. Plus I have a useful - if slightly naff- book which helps to identify your shape, and describes how to dress to flatter it.
Will try and dig it out as can't remember the title.

Flattering your shape, whatever your size, is the key to looking good, imo - it won't matter if what you're wearing isn't high fashion, as it will look right for you.

[Spuddybean]

Yes, i would say i'm closest to an hourglass. Even pre ds i was 'curvy', small waist and carried any weight on bum, thighs and arms. However, i have always had a tiny bust (a cups) but what stops me being a pear is my very broad shoulders and back (38/40a bras). so i would have had a 10 waist and 12/14 hips and 14 chest.

I suppose i am a similar shape now (but with dd's) but just bigger all over. that's why wrap dresses look nice - i recently bought 2 from Hobbs in 14 which look good (altho i can't get used to blokes staring at my norks - it's a whole new thing for me to have cleavage!). But they aren't everyday wear. i suppose my figure scrubs up okay but on practical daily looks is where it falters.

I've never really suited jeans/trousers as much as skirts and i do have great legs from mid thigh down. So A line shorter styles or wiggle/pencil knee length skirts looked best. But not so much now i doubt!

I did say to dad he was being rude, but he said he was just being honest and nothing was going to look good on me with all my 'lumpy bits'.

Oddly tho, dp prefers me like this!

[QueenCadbury]

Shame on your parents. What do they expect 3 months after giving birth?? Lumpy bits can be smoothed out with the right underwear and would give you a better silhouette under a wrap dress.

Embrace the cleavage! Get your hair/nails done on your big day, fabulous make up and fabulous shoes and you'll feel a million dollars.

[slug]

For decent tops that last, are cheap and wash well, you can't go past Uniqulo

Duo boots are the holy grail for the chunky of calf, though I've lived in these this winter. The lacing at the back allows quite a lot of breathing room for the muscular calves.

My everyday work look involves the boots, opaques or leggings, a uniqulo long sleeved T shirt and one of these which have a nice bit of stretch in them.

[ShotgunNotDoingThePans]

Yes balanced shoulders and hips = hourglass, not necessarily bog bust. Although, I have to say, I very much doubt your bra size is correct. Get to John Lewis for a fitting - the right size bra makes a huge difference.

'The Science of Sexy' is the naff-titled book I mentioned. Gives good advice on dressing to suit your shape, though.

[Spuddybean]

well mum left the hospital after having me in her size 8 jeans (as everyone has been told ad nauseum), so that's what they expect of me i suppose. 3wks after my sister had twins mum put her hand on sis's belly and said 'you aren't still in mat clothes are you? you really should be back in your pre pregnancy clothes by now'. So she clearly has form!

They are also helping me by telling me where i'm going wrong with ds too...co-sleeping has their brains boggled

Thank you all. I don't feel so freakish now. :)

I have ordered some 16 shaper jeans from New Look and going to order some duo (big calf) boots. I may look at some tailored shirts and long cardigans - i'm going to embrace the mumiform!

[ShotgunNotDoingThePans]

Big bust not bog bust!

[ShotgunNotDoingThePans]

Oh, long cardis will make you look bigger - go for neat cropped.

[Spuddybean]

shotgun - before ds i was told i am unbra-able by john lewis, debenhams and m&s. bra shopping leaves me in tears. the oly thing i fit is vests and crop type tops. atm i wear stretchy xl mat bras but i can't feed from left so have one a which i pad and one mahoosive right boob. just to add to my freakishness! i really am a state :(