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Started to feel 'matronly'...

(13 Posts)
sansucre Thu 08-Nov-12 18:08:09

I have largish breasts on a small frame - 28e, which I'm aware aren't massive but on me they are pretty noticeable.

I've never particularly liked to show them off and even though I'm wearing the correct size bra and to my own eye they look exactly the same as they've always done, I feel like they're lower than they're used to be and I feel like I constantly need to hoist them up, which I don't because if I did, they'd be right under my chin!

Over the past 6 months or so, I've started to feel that my breasts are making me look 'matronly' and that my entire front is nothing but breast, something that is especially noticeable when I wear anything tucked into a skirt.
I suppose I'm really wondering if this is a usual feeling as one gets older and what I can do to stop feeling like this/if there's anything I can do? Does anyone else have any experience of this.

Iatemyskinnyperson Thu 08-Nov-12 18:14:14

IKWYM. this bra from fantasie is the shizz, gives a fab shape, v youthful as its a natural rounded shape rather than the pointy ones you usually get.

Looking at the website, I see they don't do a 28 back blush, but maybe have a try of a good moulded bra. I used to have a charnos one way back before I hit G cuphmm

I would also say it's possibly a bra shape issue. What sort of bras do you wear at the moment?

crazyaccountant Thu 08-Nov-12 19:01:21

I am also a 28e/f so totally understand where you are coming from and this bra is your answer I promise
www.bravissimo.com/m/%23products/lingerie/t-shirt-bras/deco-bra/black/fyn2bl/
It gives fab lift and shape, has adjustable straps that adjust all the way around so if you have small shoulder to top of boob measurement it actually can be tightened to fit properly. I have 8 of these bras in different colours as they do white, nude and black permanently and bring out a colour each season (red this time) and honestly I don't bother wearing any other style as this is so good. I know I sound evangelical about a bloody bra but it took a long time to find something vaguely good and would be devastated if it was ever discontinued!

sansucre Thu 08-Nov-12 19:43:37

It's got nothing to do with my bra, seriously.

I've been buying bras from Rigby and Peller for over 20 years and from Bravissimo since they opened. I usually wear Freya bras. Bravissimo's own label bras do nothing for me. I also know how a bra should fit properly and am that person who actually tells others to go get themselves measured properly. Every time I buy a bra, I still go to the shop and try it on, I always make the assistant come and check I'm in the right size as I've started to get so paranoid recently.

I also HATE moulded bras with a passion. I have actually tried the bra on you've linked to(!) and it makes me look bigger, like all moulded bras do. I do not want that.

I really like Fantasie but as you've seen, they don't do my size. I do have one bra in a 30dd and it just never feels right so don't wear it.

Maybe this is all in my head, after all, if you were to see me, you wouldn't see anything a miss. Maybe this is just part of getting old. Since I turned 37 I've started to feel like I'm decaying. Maybe a shrink would be a better solution.
Hmm.

sad

Charliefox Thu 08-Nov-12 19:56:12

I felt the same. I'd lived with big breasts my whole life and they'd dropped with age and the whole of my front was just boob. I had a breast reduction. The best thing I've ever done.

I hate mouldeds too - they make me look utterly matronly. Really terrible. I wasn't so much suggesting you were wearing the wrong size (relatively unlikely if you are wearing a 28 as you don't end up in that size without a good fitting!) but that maybe what suits your bust shape wise has changed. Mine did quite dramatically after I had DD - things which previously did me favours made me look like a grandma sad

Out of interest, have you ever tried Krisline? The photos make them look a bit porn star but they seem to lift me back up and push me inwards like no other. They start at a 30 but their backs are at least 2" smaller than Freya. Might be worth a shot for a cheap fix?

HiggsBoson Thu 08-Nov-12 20:46:45

Maybe it really is a perception thing?

I'm a size 8 and 30E and I'd say my breasts are quite small.

ooer Thu 08-Nov-12 21:41:53

I feel your pain also! 30G here, otherwise size 12. And I do think it's partly age.

Have you considered the styles of clothes you are wearing and how they may emphasize or disguise your bust? I very rarely wear a top tucked into a skirt unless it has a pronounced V neck or I am wearing some disguising feature (like a long scarf down the middle).

Anything that cuts you in two vertically rather than horizontally is good! Or even in 3 - say a longish cardi over a top? But nothing frilly.

I prefer dresses to skirts, which brings its own challenges when you are "bigger" up top, but if I'm wearing a skirt I go for a busy pattern, with a plainish dark top. Or a colourful top with a dark v-neck cardi over it.

And paradoxically I like very fitted tops. Normal-sized ones that fit on the bust and then "bag" out from there it just make me look bigger all over. But of course you need a T-shirt bra to get away with those (to banish any sign whatever of nipple - heaven forfend!)

MaureenLove Thu 08-Nov-12 22:00:10

My h only commented on my figure recently when he admired the shape. Moulded bra gave

maybunny Fri 09-Nov-12 13:32:19

I agree that what clothes you choose make a huge difference - youve prob heard it all before, but I stick to fitted v necks, or break up the area with a scarf.

sansucre Fri 09-Nov-12 21:04:08

Ok, as I work a a block away from Bravissimo, I went after work for a fitting. I'm still a 28e. I tried the Deco bra on again and it makes me and my breasts look ridiculous. It doesn't give me a good shape either. The girl agreed. I think I tried on almost every bra they had in my size and didn't like anything. Will give it another try when I'm in a better frame of mind!

I used to be a personal shopper for a very fancy ladies boutique, so I do know how to dress myself,what flatters my figure! Due to the nature of my work, I don't wear anything low-cut as it's not appropriate and besides, as I've got older, I've just don't feel comfortable showing my cleavage, particularly in the workplace.

Btw, I would never wear a longish cardigan, they do nothing for me. As I have a small waist and hips (I'm a classic hourglass shape albeit a size 4-6 one) I need to wear things that are fitted. I tend to wear a lot of dress, I guess the fittedness makes me feel even more self-conscious. Oh, I do wear scarfs but not in the workplace, my boss doesn't really like them.

I suppose this is where I should add I had a lumpectomy a few months ago. It's my 5th one over a 20 year period, (I'm 37). I've gone from absolutely loving my breasts to really quite hating them even though they don't look all the different, indeed, the scar I've been left with is actually just underneath my breast, where the wire sits in fact. It kind of looks like I've had an inplant put in! Since I found out i needed the op, that's when I started to feel matronly, which is why I'm wondering if this is all in my head. However, I am finding myself thinking maybe I should have a reduction, it might make me happier in the long term as I;m back to wishing they were smaller. )If I go on a diet, I lose weight from everywhere but my boobs. Ha.)

HiggsBoson If my breasts were put on someone else, they'd be really quite small but on me they're big.

StatisticallyChallenged Thanks for the link, will have a look at it.

Oh you poor thing! No wonder you are feeling awful about them if you have just been through that.

Although a 28E isn't massive I can see why they feel big if you are only a size 4-6. And dressing a biggish bust for work can be an utter pain - I have to be dressed smartly and it can be really hard to find nice things that don't make my boobs look like they start at my chin.

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